Karma...

[H245]

Hey everyone it's me again. Wasn't sure if I should have made a new thread or updated an old one. Figured a new one might help others. For those that ready my older threads, I was in a long and winding roller coaster / toxic relationship with someone. She left me May 15th this year and starting seeing someone new in July (I'm assuming it's a rebound relationship). Unfortunately due to us knowing A LOT of mutual friends, I learned some info about the new bf. Such as him having a 2 yr old kid and he dresses douchey (friends' words not mine). It did suck to learn that 2 weeks ago, but it did not bother me as much as I had to force myself to toughen up because I see my ex at least once a week now at my usual trivia meetup spot with other mutual friends. We usually play on different teams

 

So why am I posting here right now? I recently learned through mutual friends that she is having some trouble with the new bf. She doesn't like playing second fiddle to the new bf's kid and that he neglects her. I couldn't help but laugh at the time. How she is feeling and being treated is exactly how she treated me and made me feel when her and I were still together. I doubt she will ever realize that and it also made me realize that she is the type that wants all the power / attention in a relationship and not give anything back. So it looks like she lost that with this new man. Regardless, it did feel good to hear that. Whatever happens moving forward with her and her new bf...she is his problem now, not mine.

 

I still try to keep busy and have been successful in it. I still have drama in my life with friends and family unrelated to my ex, but I am just trying to walk away from that nonsense.

 

So it goes to show you that karma will come back and bite you in the rear. In this case, it has bitten my ex gf in the rear. For now, I'm glad it did so she can hopefully see that she can't abuse every man in her life. I hope someone can take solace in my post.

 

If I came off sounding like a douche, I'm sorry. I needed to vent tonight.

[Peacock_Tail]

Most likely the worst is yet come to her.

[johnson_j]

It's funny how that always works out. My ex is still talking with her ex (the one she left me for - I suppose I was the rebound) but obviously it was never going to work out for them two, and she told me that. Except she is still hanging around with him. At some point I have to wonder what he knows and why he is playing that game still knowing she is unhappy with him and takes him back and breaks up with him on a regular basis.

 

 

I recently saw a picture of her - she looks horrible now. Gained some weight and looks like she has aged so much in the past year. I don't understand it.

 

 

In parting thoughts, her and I were having a good convo one night months back and she mentioned that karma always seems to bite her. Well, I'm sure it will this time. We haven't spoken for months now but I expect my phone will ring someday, when she gets her act together and realizes how she was so insecure and almost BPD and how, in her words, "we were the best thing that ever happened in her life".

 

 

Glad you're doing better - right now I am better than I have been all year. Not exactly where I wanted to be back at the beginning of the year, but probably exactly where I need to be right now. Finally at peace.

[Philosoraptor]

Karma doesn't punish others. Delighting in the pain of others will only bring bad karma onto you. Pity those who suffer, no matter what transgressions they may have put upon you. It's hard to do, but wish the best for all and you will receive the most benefits in your own life.

 

Regarding your ex, that's too bad. Everyone makes their own choices and hopefully she learns from the poor choice she made. You just worry about enjoying your own life and how to make your world as happy as can be.

[mightycpa]

Yeah, I don't think I believe in this Karma. Sometimes, people just have a habit of making ****ty choices, and that's what comes around to bite them in the ass.

[somedude81]

Hopefully karma will bite my ex in her ass.

[H245]

Glad you're doing better - right now I am better than I have been all year. Not exactly where I wanted to be back at the beginning of the year, but probably exactly where I need to be right now. Finally at peace.

 

Thanks, I appreciate it. I def. feel better than I have all year and getting closer to feeling at peace with myself.

 

Karma doesn't punish others. Delighting in the pain of others will only bring bad karma onto you. Pity those who suffer, no matter what transgressions they may have put upon you. It's hard to do, but wish the best for all and you will receive the most benefits in your own life.

 

Regarding your ex, that's too bad. Everyone makes their own choices and hopefully she learns from the poor choice she made. You just worry about enjoying your own life and how to make your world as happy as can be.

 

I agree, that's why I apologized in my original post for coming off as a douche. It did feel good to hear it, but I've since moved on from it. I do pity my ex because she did not learn anything from our volatile relationship and won't for some time. She is an overly stubborn woman.

 

I had my fair share of situations since the break up that I was not proud of, but overall I have been making positive strides towards being more self aware and my actions and learning things about myself I never realized before.

 

Yeah, I don't think I believe in this Karma. Sometimes, people just have a habit of making ****ty choices, and that's what comes around to bite them in the ass.

 

Maybe karma was a bad word to use. Maybe the whole what goes around comes around saying? Either way, it is funny how those things happen. For the longest time I thought I'd never be where I'm at now: in a better position in life than she is in.

[johnson_j]

There is a big difference between wishing "ill will" on someone and believing their bad choices will end up costing them in the long run. Karma is simply a reflection that someone's bad choices and treating others wrongly will cause them to suffer the same fate down the road.

 

 

I don't wish "ill will" towards anyone. With my ex, the best case scenario is that she walks away from her ex and finds someone new who she can love, who loves her in return, and they have mutual respect for each other. I'd be happy for her if that's the case. Doing the same thing (with her ex) that has lead to failures over-and-over again, we all know that fits "insanity".

 

 

As the bible says, treat others how you would like to be treated.

[H245]

There is a big difference between wishing "ill will" on someone and believing their bad choices will end up costing them in the long run. Karma is simply a reflection that someone's bad choices and treating others wrongly will cause them to suffer the same fate down the road.

 

 

I don't wish "ill will" towards anyone. With my ex, the best case scenario is that she walks away from her ex and finds someone new who she can love, who loves her in return, and they have mutual respect for each other. I'd be happy for her if that's the case. Doing the same thing (with her ex) that has lead to failures over-and-over again, we all know that fits "insanity".

 

 

As the bible says, treat others how you would like to be treated.

 

That is probably the best way to put it. I don't wish my ex the worst. I do still feel a lot of anger towards her when I see her in person weekly at trivia. But I am slowly getting away from that and starting to pity her more than anything else. It's too bad she still hasn't learned anything.

[anika99]

karma is bull. The universe doesn't get even with people just because we got our feelings hurt. That's silly. I do believe in consequences though. I have an ex who had many issues, who made poor choices and sometimes, due to his selfish and abusive personality, he hurt people, including me. After we broke up he was fired from a job that he loved and had string of crappy relationships. I could say "oh well that's the karma he gets for hurting me" but that wouldn't even make any sense. For one thing he had hurt people before I even knew him, yet he was lucky enough to meet me and have me fall in love with him. I'm the one that suffered in that relationship. Shouldn't he have been the one to get hurt as payback for whomever he hurt before me? Why was I the one to get hurt? Was that some bad karma I had coming to me? Since we all fall short and make mistakes don't we all deserve some payback from "karma"?

 

 

No he didn't get fired and have a bunch of failed relationships because of Karma. Those things happened because he still had the same crappy behaviour and self entitled attitude that he had when he was with me. His employers decision to fire him was directly related to his behaviour at work. He had a temper tantrum and broke an brand new piece of expensive equipment. Had he not done that he would still be working there. It wouldn't matter if hurt a million women (emotionally) or hurt me a million times, he wouldn't have lost his job if had managed to control himself there.

 

 

The bible says you reap what you sow. That makes more sense to me because it seems to mean that there are consequences to our actions.That there are results to what we invest ourselves in. The young person who stays in on weekends to do homework and study hard gets the reward of a great education and hopefully a great career. The mom who makes sacrifices so she can be a present and involved parent raises happy children who will probably love and adore her in her old age. However the guy who parties every night and sleeps in every day, missing work and getting fired, is not likely to make a lot of money or have a successful career. That's the result of his choices, the consequences of his actions. Should he decide to smarten up and start putting his focus on being a better employee and on improving his skills so that he has more to offer, then he will start to see better consequences and positive results. Some universal cosmic power called Karma has nothing to do with it.

[shaigurl]

When you intentionally cause harm to others, the universe has a way of paying you back. If you don't believe in karma, do something malicious to someone and wait. 10 times out of 10 you will receive payback for that malicious act and its usually far worse than the pain you inflicted on others. You cant just hurt people intentionally and get away with it. It may take years, but I promise you, eventually you will suffer the consequences. Not only that, but he will also bring it to your attention about why your getting it back.

[David87]

Hopefully karma will bite my ex in her ass.

 

Karma took care of my ex

[evanescentworld]

I could write a book on Karma - except there are an awful lot of them out there already.

Suffice to say, Karma does not equal vindictive retribution by the universe, some unseen power, or an invisible justice system.

It's not pay-back, it's consequence, and we all have it, all the time.

Even now, right now, right this minute....

 

Put your fingers in a flame, they get burnt.

Put them under iced water, they feel better.

I read somewhere that Karma is like this:

You get punished/rewarded by your actions, not for them.

 

That's it.

[tim_tom]

There is a big difference between wishing "ill will" on someone and believing their bad choices will end up costing them in the long run. Karma is simply a reflection that someone's bad choices and treating others wrongly will cause them to suffer the same fate down the road.

 

 

I don't wish "ill will" towards anyone. With my ex, the best case scenario is that she walks away from her ex and finds someone new who she can love, who loves her in return, and they have mutual respect for each other. I'd be happy for her if that's the case. Doing the same thing (with her ex) that has lead to failures over-and-over again, we all know that fits "insanity".

 

 

As the bible says, treat others how you would like to be treated.

 

All well and good, but I've found doing the right thing often doesn't have rewards. At least not in the short term.

 

My ex wife, spent my kids toddler/preschool years high, drunk and running around with other men. She barely saw them. I got custody, and struggle being a single parent everyday (while they tell me they love their mother more) She is remarried, seemingly happy and I just got dumped by someone I love very much cause she couldn't deal with the baggage of having 2 kids here 6 days a week.

 

Right now: Major advantage her

[H245]

All well and good, but I've found doing the right thing often doesn't have rewards. At least not in the short term.

 

My ex wife, spent my kids toddler/preschool years high, drunk and running around with other men. She barely saw them. I got custody, and struggle being a single parent everyday (while they tell me they love their mother more) She is remarried, seemingly happy and I just got dumped by someone I love very much cause she couldn't deal with the baggage of having 2 kids here 6 days a week.

 

Right now: Major advantage her

 

It sucks you're going through this. I've read your other threads and I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. You're right that sometimes doing the right thing doesn't reward you right away. It's a crappy feeling.

 

As an update to my situation, my ex broke up with her new BF because apparently he was a douche (according to a friend). So there's some form of consequence for rebounding into another relationship a month or 2 after she left me. Still, I feel she hasn't even begun to feel the consequences of her actions towards me when we were together. From what I can infer, I think she has spent zero time working on her own feelings and figuring herself out. She would rather hookup with random men from online dating sites instead. Oh well.

 

Regardless, it's not all roses on my side either. I keep trying to better myself while still grieving the loss of the relationship, but my ex has trashed talked me to friends and is slowly winning them over for whatever reason. At what point do I get to reap the benefits of my positive actions against her negative actions? This one sidedness can't go on forever right?

[Chi townD]

Karma can happen. And raptor is right. When karma does happen, you shouldn't bask in it, or laugh at them. Does no good.

 

 

Karma happened to my Ex. But, when I found out about it, I really didn't give a sh*t. Oh well! That was her choice! Sorry it didn't go the way she planned it, but that's not my fault or my problem! My life is great now, but it had nothing to do with her! I'm the one that made my life the way it is. If hers sucks; not my fault.