footinthemouth Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Hi everyone, It's been a long time since I've been on here, it helps reading the threads and feeling the support within this community. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years the other day and everything is very fresh. The reason why I broke up with her was because our RS was becoming more and more violent. I was upsetting her to a point where she would want to hit me,never did, and she would upset me to punching walls and doors. I'm not a violent person but when my feelings have had enough I blow up. I have put my hands on her aggressively in anger and I know that isn't right. I fear that if i were to continue this RS and we keep on this pattern I will be charged with domestic abuse and thrown into jail. This is a very big factor that helped me make my decision. I cannot let myself get to that point. I realized that our RS is unhealthy and that how we are now as a person is not compatible with each other. Basic description of us... She's a Dependant and I am a care giver, 10 year difference in age, RS moved very fast. I know that I have a lot of things I need to work on and I can't do it while in this relationship. I feel that she has stuff to work on as well but I have no control over that. I worry for her well being and want the best for her, again the care giver attitude, my concern for her is on my mind. I've started NC to a degree, and chatted once with her and replied back to her texts twice. It's hard to resist the temptation of contact, of familiarity but I have to try my best to hold my ground and be strong for both our sakes. I feel that I made the right decision but it also creeps in my mind the "what if's" Did I do what is healthy for the both of us?
hoping2heal Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Sounds like the choice you made here was not the easy one but it WAS the right one. I commend you for being able to recognize the unhealthy behavior on your own behalf and wanting to fix it. Best of luck!
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