One month NC. How are you feeling?

[irresolute]

I'd like to share and compare the feelings and sensations of people who are 1 month NC.

 

Me: I was mad for a couple weeks with the realization he doesn't love me, that I'm not the one. I tend to think I was not enough and just can't shake that feeling off.

 

I still have urges to contact him but I know it's not going to change the painful truth: he's just not that into me. He never was, he never will. I'm coming to terms with this realization, hence the anger. Still, I miss him so very much. so much that it hurts.

 

How are you feeling?

[artsygirl78]

I am so sorry that you are hurting - I think your reactions of anger and sadness are completely normal, and congratulations for sticking to NC for one whole month. From reading your other threads, it sounds like you had a very intense, difficult relationship with your ex and I know how hard it must be to stay strong - good for you!!! My heart feels for you, PLEASE know that it is not that you were not "good enough" for him - it sounds like it was quite the opposite, in fact. You are worthy of being treated with love and kindness, and you deserve a partner that puts you FIRST, who loves you and wants to be with only YOU. And by taking care of yourself this way, even though it might not feel like it right now, you are making room for that quality guy to show up

 

I am technically a little over one month NC - would have been two, but I broke it about 5 weeks ago by checking my ex's facebook page as well as comments he wrote on mutual friend's pages, out of a sense of deep pining and missing him - totally backfired. It was so painful that I actually (finally!) got to the place where I blocked him along with anyone I met through him, and there was a mixture of sadness and relief in cutting the final ties.

 

That's pretty much where I am at now - having lots of sad dreams at night about missing my ex, wanting so badly to talk to him and make up/make things right but knowing I can't speak to him and he doesn't want me back, making up in my dreams and waking only to realize it was all in my head. During my waking hours, a sense of deep sadness and longing for him, mixed with relief that I am actually starting to feel myself heal and I don't have to know what he is up to, who he is dating or seeing instead of me - a sense of space in having put our relationship "behind" me. There are days I can feel myself moving forward, and start to feel excited and good about life again, and relief that I don't feel grief or sadness or that agonizing heartbreak, and days when I am back to square one and missing him so much it is killing me and my heart feels like it is bleeding tears.

[OK_computer]

It's been 6 months for me NC. But I see her everyday.

 

How am I doing? AMAZING ACTUALLY. The last week or so I finally accepted and moved on from her. I can safely say I live for myself and I'm 100% fine. Too much to get done in this life and not enough time. There are times I think about her but not in the love or i wanna get back with you sort of way.

[hoping2heal]

I'm heterosexual and not single so please feel free to take this compliment as not coming from a horny toad guy who is just trying to prey on you in a moment of vulnerability.

 

But,

 

Dayyym yr beautiful

 

 

There are plenty out there would love to appreciate what he could not.

[irresolute]

Arsty girl: I had a dream tonight about him as well. How awful feeling when I got up!

In my dream, we were hanging out in his Hummer (he has two hummer, true story) with some of his friends, but I ended up alone because he was busy with his friends, and playing video games. turned out I talked to one f his exes as well. A gorgeous woman, that it was also ver nice.

I couldn't even experience a drive in his hummer. Just like real life.

 

But it sucks. I miss him. what is he doing now? I'm sure he doesn't miss me at all. I thought him replying to my texts and visiting my online profiles meant interest on his part. But now I realize he was being nice (because he is a super nice guy) and just curiosity (him visiting my online dating profiles) BIG DIFFERENCES.

 

Feeling defeated and as miserable as always today. when I'll feel ok! when?

[music_and_poetry]

I'm now going through a stage where I'm still thinking about him although maybe not quite as obsessively. I'm still hurt, still angry, and yes I still miss him.

 

But now as life goes on I am wondering why I miss this guy so much. From every way I reflect on things, I keep realizing that this guy frustrated me to no end and was a dissappointment in so many ways. I just remember there being a lot of work and effort on my end while he didn't want to make a single effort with anything. Why do I miss someone like that? That's what I struggle with. I guess I still have some kind of hope that he might get his **** together and be the "great guy" all our mutual friends told me he was. I didn't get to see the great guy. I got an ******* who strung me along and left me high and dry. Even if he changed his mind, I'd have to think very carefully about whether he was worth it. Right now I don't think he is worth much of anything. Doesn't stop me from thinking about him though.

 

Also this is childish, but I'm working on upping my stock. I don't care when it is but I want his jaw to hit the floor the next time he sees me. Show this jerkoff the great girl he let go of!

[dumbass2]

I'm now going through a stage where I'm still thinking about him although maybe not quite as obsessively. I'm still hurt, still angry, and yes I still miss him.

 

But now as life goes on I am wondering why I miss this guy so much. From every way I reflect on things, I keep realizing that this guy frustrated me to no end and was a dissappointment in so many ways. I just remember there being a lot of work and effort on my end while he didn't want to make a single effort with anything. Why do I miss someone like that? That's what I struggle with. I guess I still have some kind of hope that he might get his **** together and be the "great guy" all our mutual friends told me he was. I didn't get to see the great guy. I got an ******* who strung me along and left me high and dry. Even if he changed his mind, I'd have to think very carefully about whether he was worth it. Right now I don't think he is worth much of anything. Doesn't stop me from thinking about him though.

 

Also this is childish, but I'm working on upping my stock. I don't care when it is but I want his jaw to hit the floor the next time he sees me. Show this jerkoff the great girl he let go of!

 

I'm a guy and what you said is pretty much how I feel about my ex right now, so you're not alone and it's been over 3-1/2 months now and over 3 weeks no contact. Glad to here you are going out and improving yourself, that's what we should be focusing on...ourselves. There is someone else out there that we can love and have that love returned, it just didn't happen for us this time.

[music_and_poetry]

I'm a guy and what you said is pretty much how I feel about my ex right now, so you're not alone and it's been over 3-1/2 months now and over 3 weeks no contact. Glad to here you are going out and improving yourself, that's what we should be focusing on...ourselves. There is someone else out there that we can love and have that love returned, it just didn't happen for us this time.

 

Yeah, I don't want to waste my life. You only get one so why not become someone fantastic? If you wanna chat feel free to shoot me a message, maybe we can support eachother through this

[Moonborn]

It's been a little less than one month NC for me, but I broke up in April and it was long distance, which pretty much ensures that I am not going to meet her anytime soon. This definitely made things easier for me once I managed to put myself together to delete her phone number and block her facebook and emails. It is also not my first serious breakup so I suppose the past experience helps too.

 

I still think about her occasionally, but I am not miserable over her anymore. I even have a slight crush on a coworker, she doesn't seem to be really interested in me but oh well, it's good enough for me that I am able to look at other girls. Right now my only concern is that I am 27 and most people who are around my age seem to be marrying or are in a serious relationship, while I am on my own. But then marriage is definitely no warranty of a happy love life, so I suppose I may be better on my own than many guys who are in a marriage. Time will tell.

 

Anyway I think it really is about having the right mindset. Once you stop putting others before yourself life becomes much more enjoyable, at least that's what did the trick for me.