shz93 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. She's the love of my life and today is going to be excruciating. She's bringing all of my stuff over from our home. I'm going to dress up nice and talk to her like nothing is bothering me. Will this push her further away? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Please don't be home. For your own sanity and to show her you are not waiting for her. I am not big into games and totally believe you should share your feelings erc. But once you have you have to step back. If she wants you back, you but being at home will not have any effect at all. But it will help you. If you are home, and you guys talk etc. You will play that back over and over in your mind rehashing every word. Over analyzing each sentence and hanging on to things that really have no meaning. This will hinder your Recovery. Believe me. I know. I have made every mistake possible to make, and I only have me to blame for it. Then you have that to use against yourself... How you couldn't be strong enough to look out for your own welfare. So... All I am saying here is not be home. Leave her stuff on porch. If it too much to leave on porch, leave a friend at the place to let her in. I have done gruesome things during my recovery. But not even I could handle the hurt if being here while she took her things. I thought about it constantly while it was happening and I cried... A lot. But at least I so I don't have that memory to deal with. Memories can be extemely hurtful for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shz93 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 Hey sorry I meant she's bringing my stuff to me, she's staying in that house. I'm currently staying at a friends with our dog...I feel sick thinking of what I'm going to say and I'll have to hand my key over. She told me she loves me and this is the hardest thing she's ever done so I hope she will realise soon it's a mistake... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Same response applies. DO NOT BE THERE. LEAVE THE KEY. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Same response applies. DO NOT BE THERE. LEAVE THE KEY. I completely agree with Mary Oak. Don't be there. You will probably do and say things you will regret down the road, making your heartbreak even worse. Also, get rid of everything you can think of that you don't want her to see. Let me clarify a little: When my current ex came to my house to get all of her stuff (she basically moved her and her daughter in for 4 months) I made it a point to be out of town. I cleaned the house spotless and packed all her stuff for her in the garage. She still went through EVERYTHING in my house. She went so far as to go through my trash in the dumpster. I was drinking every day after the breakup (coping) and there were plenty of beer bottles in the dumpster. They weren't all from me (buddies that came over contributed to the bottles). She obviously saw them and I regret leaving any evidence about anything. I didn't think she'd go through my trash, but she did. It was also good that I wasn't there. She called after she got her stuff and left me a voicemail. She got mad that I threw stuff away ($10 worth of food she bought). We would have fought about that I just know it. So instead of being there to argue, I was a ghost and couldn't say or do anything I regret. Don't be there. Get rid of anything that may look bad on your end. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Oops. I just saw that she is going to be staying in the house you shared, and that she's bringing your stuff to your friend's house. Why would she move your stuff out of the house? It's your right to get your own stuff and make sure you get everything. You need to get your own stuff when she is not there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shz93 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 She won't allow me near the house, she only brought me a few things today and the rest tomorrow. Absolutely horrendously painful....urghhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 So, you have learned by today to not be there tomorrow right? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts