Just need some perspective

[tory1012]

So I have been broken up with my ex for about 2 years now and he was my first love and we didn't have a "great" relationship. Most Of the time it was very turbulent however the lust and passion was crazy good!

 

I'm with a new guy now and have recently become engaged and we have been together for a year now. I am happy with him and we have settled down nicely. However I still find myself pining over my ex and thinking about him Sexually. I actually met him for a coffee when I went back to the city and I felt an overwhelming desire for him.

 

What does this mean? I love my current partner But I can't help still feeling something Sexually for my ex and its been over 2 years since we broke up. It took me nearly a year to get over him. He was my first love and I adored him.

 

Your advice would be appreciated

[J2911]

So I have been broken up with my ex for about 2 years now and he was my first love and we didn't have a "great" relationship. Most Of the time it was very turbulent however the lust and passion was crazy good!

 

I'm with a new guy now and have recently become engaged and we have been together for a year now. I am happy with him and we have settled down nicely. However I still find myself pining over my ex and thinking about him Sexually. I actually met him for a coffee when I went back to the city and I felt an overwhelming desire for him.

 

What does this mean? I love my current partner But I can't help still feeling something Sexually for my ex and its been over 2 years since we broke up. It took me nearly a year to get over him. He was my first love and I adored him.

 

Your advice would be appreciated

 

My advice to you is to end the relationship you are in now if you are having these feelings for your ex. It's not fair to your fiance really . You are probably not over your ex completely to be having these feelings.

[Marco Valerio]

Completely agree, BU with your actual partner, having sexual desires for others being in a relationship is not a good signal...it could take you to the path of cheating.

[Ronni_W]

However I still find myself pining over my ex and thinking about him Sexually.

Is it because you have love feelings for your ex...or that your current sex life leaves something to be desired?

 

If the latter, you are as responsible as your partner to have a happy, healthy, enjoyable, pleasurable satisfying sex life. Some research/reading suggestions:

 

• The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, by Margo Anand
  
• She Comes First, by Ian Kerner
  
• The Clitoral Truth, by Rebecca Chalker
  
• Different Loving, by Brame, Brame and Jacobs
  

If it's that you're still harboring what feels like love-feelings for your ex...then it just means that there is still more healing work to be done around that. Only break-up with your current if you are already sure that he is not the one for you.

 

Best of luck.

[EricaH329]

Hello Tory I'm sorry you are feeling confused I do have to say, though, that feeling strong sexual attractions towards other people (whether they are your ex's or not) is natural. I'm in a long term relationship myself, and i'd be lying if I said I wasn't sexually attracted to other people. I think you are focused on this particular instance because it isn't just a random person, but someone you were once involved with.

 

I don't see a problem with having the feelings you do. However, if there is more to it than just a sexual attraction, then I would have to re-evaluate things.

 

My advice to you, is to no longer see your ex if the feelings of attraction are so strong that they are distracting you from your current situation in life.