No contact rule after 7 months of breakup

[shruti17]

Hi,

I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and 2 months. Out of the blue one day he picked a fight with me about something related to the past, and it lead to a sudden breakup from his side. As this was the first time I was dumped by a boy I went all hysterical. Crying and wanting answers as I had no pride or ego when it comes to him. I genuinely thought we could be friends, but I met him yesterday (7 months after the breakup) and we used to talk generally on the phone, but I have still not gotten over him. So during the meet, we chatted about general things and I could not control it so I cried and told him how I truly feel, since I am moving countries he asked me to forget all that and that he will be my friend. But the problem is I dont want to be friends. I have started the NC now, unfriended him from fb, not replying to his txts and all. I am scared he will not talk to me anymore.

 

Can anyone tell me what to do? I wanna get over him but I do not want to lose him.

[FortunateSon]

Going NC is your best option. It WILL help you get over him. Continuing to talk to him will delay your healing process. As far as losing him, it sounds like he is already gone, you do not have a choice in that for now. Remaining "friends" is not going to get him back, and may in fact reinforce his decision to move on. Go NC, heal yourself and move on; if you reconnect much further down the road, you will be in a better place to explore the possibility of reconciliation.

[Chi townD]

You can't make someone want to be with you. If all he has to offer is a cheap friendship after an intense relationship and you don't want that, then you have to move on.

 

 

You've already started the process by blocking him on all social media. Now, you have to start making positive changes in you life.

 

 

First thing is go get a new hairstyle, something people will notice and like. Then, go get a new wardrobe. Something conservative; yet, sexy. You want people to say, "DAMN! You look hot!" This is going to help your self esteem and your self confidence.

 

 

Then, go to the gym, run your ass off on the treadmill and push some weight. Join a spin class or Zumba class, yoga....whatever. If you eat right and get plenty of sleep, you'll be working toward that hard and sexy bod that guys are really going to notice.

 

 

Then, get a new hobby. Usually that hobby will have a club in your area that has people with a shared interest. JOIN THEM! So, join a running club or a cycling club. Or co-ed sports, Dive classes, photography course or a cooking class. ANYTHING that gets you out and meeting new people.

 

 

Then, TRAVEL! You're moving to a new country! See what they have! Explore! Then branch out and see new countries and have new adventures!

 

 

The key is to KEEP BUSY!! The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life.

[d0nnivain]

You want back what you had. You don't want what you have now or are being offered -- mere friendship when you want a relationship.

 

 

Going NC will help you get over him. You are moving & getting a fresh start. that will help too. No memories in your surroundings.

 

 

For now you can't be friends. It will be too painful for you & will prevent you from moving forward.

[shruti17]

Thanks everyone.

I guess I was just scared of losing a friend. But this is the only way I'll get over him as I still love him. Hopefully when I am healed and emotionally well again down the road, I may be able to reconcile the friendship.. I just hate being rude to people.

[l.k]

Hey... R u an indian.. ?? M also indian

[erklat]

There is no friendship after an intense romantic relationship.