katonah09 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Hi, We were dating for just over 4 months. He broke up with me out of the blue on a Tuesday, and less than 48 hours later, he missed me and wanted to get back with me.... Anyone else experienced such a short/unexplained break up?? Thanks S Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 GIGS all the way. He tried for something, and it didn't work. Why would you want to get back with somebody like this? What's his reasoning for coming back after two days? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 What were his reasons for breaking up with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author katonah09 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 He said he thought we were getting too serious, and a bunch of other cliches.... I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship, I need some space/time.... When he contacted me 2 days later, he said he missed me, he made a mistake and panicked. He was hoping we could meet up and maybe give it another go... Link to post Share on other sites
JoeFallkon Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Just talk with him. if you need time, he needs to respect that, Link to post Share on other sites
Author katonah09 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 Thanks for the replies.... we met once and talked, but i'm still not sure... It's all so sudden, things we're going fine, and then he ended it out of the blue... i barely got time to 'grieve' and he wanted to give it another... what's to say he won't change his mind again, in another 48 hours?? @confused.com ..... :\ Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I just applaud you for actually using your head here and not your heart. A lot of us on this forum would have jumped back. It seems maybe someone else was in the picture but isn't working out so well??? Not sure, but I'd be afraid of him leaving again, like you said. What is to stop him from changing his mind again? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author katonah09 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 Thanks for the input. The day he broke up with me, I asked him if there was someone else, he swore there wasn't and said when I see him out, he'll be alone... Also, we used to meet every weekend.... so hard to know when he would have been seeing someone else... but I guess you never know... He wants to meet up again, so I guess I have 2 decisions to make: 1. walk away and protect myself from getting hurt again, but then possibly miss out on something good 2. go back with him and take the risk... I guess there are no guarantees in life!!! I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced the same. I know once i break up with someone, that's it, I'm happy to be free again :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Greeneyegemini Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 (edited) well, I can say that when my ex broke up with me i asked him 9870987 times if there was someone else. He kept swearing there wasn't. I just thought it was funny that he'd end it if there was no REAL reason. He said the long distance "wore his heart down". and that's all I could get out of him. First there was the break for a week. And I was like..."so what, are you going to take this break to date other girls?" And he said "that's not what this is about....I just need to be alone." I kinda freaked out that weekend and didn't give him space. I guess Love makes you do crazy things...i'm not a clingy girl. ANYWAY. Monday came along, not even a week later and he answers. Tells me, "it's not gonna happen" ..."it" meaning "our relationship". I accepted it then. Went 8 days NC. Broke down, called him. I asked if he's seeing someone. Annnnnnd yep, he is. Some chick from church. Which I mean, hey. I can see it kinda. She's there all the time, and he could only seem me every once in awhile. What bothers me is I told him that I'd be willing to move up there and everything before I knew about this girl. And he still didn't go for it. Oh well. I actually came on here and told everyone my story before I found all this out and Jbelle is the one who said there's prob someone else. Which i thought for a sec, but then I was like...hmmm there's no way he'd do that I KNOW THIS GUY!!! BUT.... he did. I'm not saying your guy has someone else. I just think it's fishy for people to break up for no reason. Like, ok. You're happy. You love them...why WOULD you break up? It's always something that they're hiding. Either another person, or they don't want to hurt you more by telling you the truth about how you're a bitch in the relationship or something. Edited June 6, 2014 by Greeneyegemini 2 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Can't say if there is someone or not... But you've turned into the backup plan. He's keeping you close while he A) is talking to someone B) that someone doesn't work out C) stringing you along till he finds someone D) realizes it's hard to get over you and when you still have contact with then it makes it easier to get over said person. Me? I think the dudes confused.. And I'm sure he was all alone wondering if you were out doing something with another dude.. Blah blah. Don't reply, Atleast not yet. Let him stew in it. Barky Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 He said he thought we were getting too serious, and a bunch of other cliches.... I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship, I need some space/time.... So, what changed in two days? Those aren't just random thoughts that came to his mind out of the blue but things that have been swirling around in his brain. I have to wonder if 1) he was seeing someone and it didn't work out 2) he's really not that into you but is only back because he does miss having some level of companionship 3) he's using you as a fallback girl 4) he's confused and not emotionally mature to know what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author katonah09 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 @ greeneyegemini - thanks for sharing your story, it's possible there are similarities, however, i know the last bit isn't true, i may be many things, but i'm definitely not a bitch :-) @ barky2 - i kinda think it's your last comment, i.e that he's just confused @ zahara - i completely agree with your first sentence, hence my confusion... after that, possibly a combination of 2) and 4) Link to post Share on other sites
fitguy Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I think he could be confused and maybe not wanting to give up his freedom just yet. He could have seen someone he's interested in and wanted to be free or just thinking the "grass is greener" and thought it would be good to be single again and then after a couple days he came to his senses. I mean, it's strange because 4 months isn't very long in a relationship so if everything is going well and to just cut ties, that's an odd thing to do. As for me, I ended a relationship but there was no one else even though she thought automatically there was. When I ended mine I was alone, still am alone, and did it because it was right for me but that was after many months of conflicts and not a fresh relationship. You said it was out of the blue but were there any issues that you can think of that have happened over the 4 months that you were together? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 [quote=katonah09;5739670 @ zahara - i completely agree with your first sentence, hence my confusion... after that, possibly a combination of 2) and 4) If that is the case, then there's a high probability that he may revert to feeling that way again? Wouldn't you think so -- because "he thought we were getting too serious, and a bunch of other cliches.... I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship, I need some space/time...." is still going to be in his head and wouldn't have changed much in 2 days. If it's a combination of #2 and #4, that's two huge strikes. How do you see this turning around with these many red flags? Link to post Share on other sites
Author katonah09 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 No, absolutely nothing I can think of... The weekend before, he even asked me if I would go to Spain with him for a long weekend in September!! I jokingly said "do you think we'll still be together in september?". He said "i don't see why not, we get on really well" Then the Sunday before he broke up with me, we spent the whole day together and got on really well. We had been planning go away for a mini break the following weekend - his idea not mine. I emailed him on Monday with a link for a B&B - he texted back to say it looked great, and he was looking forward to it. Tuesday morning, I texted him to say I had booked the B&B - later that afternoon he said he didn't think he could go through with our relationship.... we were getting too serious.... he needed some time/space..... 2 days later he said he made a mistake and wanted to give it another go. He said he panicked on Tuesday, but now realised it would be a shame to end what we had... Link to post Share on other sites
Author katonah09 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 last post was a reply to fitguy's question @ Zahara - i hear what you're saying and you could very well be right.... there are definitely some red flags... but there were also a lot of positives in our relationship, and it was only 4 months - it was very early days to be thinking about anything serious in my opinion - and i think he realises now that he over-reacted... or maybe he's just immature and not that into me, but if i walk away, i'll never find out.... Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 No, absolutely nothing I can think of... The weekend before, he even asked me if I would go to Spain with him for a long weekend in September!! I jokingly said "do you think we'll still be together in september?". He said "i don't see why not, we get on really well" Then the Sunday before he broke up with me, we spent the whole day together and got on really well. We had been planning go away for a mini break the following weekend - his idea not mine. I emailed him on Monday with a link for a B&B - he texted back to say it looked great, and he was looking forward to it. Tuesday morning, I texted him to say I had booked the B&B - later that afternoon he said he didn't think he could go through with our relationship.... we were getting too serious.... he needed some time/space..... 2 days later he said he made a mistake and wanted to give it another go. He said he panicked on Tuesday, but now realised it would be a shame to end what we had... This reminds me of an ex. The exact thing happened. His fear that the relationship was progressing and that commitment was probably close at hand because we were getting closer -- he was going along with it all until he felt too much pressure and then he ran. Then he came back. Then he ran. Then he came back. Then he ran. I finally ended it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 or maybe he's just immature and not that into me, but if i walk away, i'll never find out.... If you have to find out, then you have to take that risk and try again. I hope it pays off for you and that he is true to his word and intent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts