skeoch100 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 It's been 15 months since me and my ex broke up, it was very amicable there was just something missing for her.... The rejection and loss of relationship hit me really hard, due to a bit of a **** family life I really struggle with anxiety in relationships and breaks ups / rejection hit me hard. This one hit me like a scud missile to the face! But I've been bouncing back and feeling better slowly, until I saw her last week at a wedding, I was in the band, we were doing a gig and she happened to be a guest.... I new it was coming but thought I could keep cool and avoid her.... The opposite happened and we ended up dancing, flirting and cuddling, I tried to kiss her when I dropped her off but she pulled the sensible card thank god! And I went home with my head spinning. Since then I've felt like crap, depressed and anxious, feel like I've knocked my self back 8 months, I just couldn't stop myself!! Like an addict. Anyway I'm so pissed off that I folded like a deck of cards and demolished the happiness I was starting to rebuild. I guess you learn from your mistakes, but have I totally screwed up my recovery? Am I back to square one? Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 It's been 15 months since me and my ex broke up, it was very amicable there was just something missing for her.... The rejection and loss of relationship hit me really hard, due to a bit of a **** family life I really struggle with anxiety in relationships and breaks ups / rejection hit me hard. This one hit me like a scud missile to the face! But I've been bouncing back and feeling better slowly, until I saw her last week at a wedding, I was in the band, we were doing a gig and she happened to be a guest.... I new it was coming but thought I could keep cool and avoid her.... The opposite happened and we ended up dancing, flirting and cuddling, I tried to kiss her when I dropped her off but she pulled the sensible card thank god! And I went home with my head spinning. Since then I've felt like crap, depressed and anxious, feel like I've knocked my self back 8 months, I just couldn't stop myself!! Like an addict. Anyway I'm so pissed off that I folded like a deck of cards and demolished the happiness I was starting to rebuild. I guess you learn from your mistakes, but have I totally screwed up my recovery? Am I back to square one? My sincere condolences, man. It sucks. You're still in love. And until you're not, you will be. Don't beat yourself up for failing to pass this "test." Totally understandable that you didn't. The scene dropping her off - must have felt like breaking up all over again. Time and distance - is the only thing that works. (and new distractions) Dancing / flirting / cuddling...... only messes with your mind (and heart!) ...........and then leaves you second-guessing all over again. She made her choice. stated her case. (perhaps feels....confused? uncertain?) but you can't let that kick you over the moon all over again. And 15 months is an awful long time. Had there been a change of heart (on her part) well - miracles sometimes do happen - but more often, do not. You're not back at square one. Those 15 months don't count for nothing. You had managed your life, bouncing back....... The next 15 months? Build on that. I feel for ya. A relationship can lift our self-esteem immeasurably...... but ultimately, if that relationship can't work, then we have to move on and lift that esteem some other way. Don't lose hope. This won't kill ya - therefor it will make you stronger! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skeoch100 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Thanks so much for taking the time to write that, it picked me.... You totally right, ove learnt a good lesson here which will make me stronger and wiser. Occasionally it feels like you will never stop loving someone and thats scary!!! I have never longed for someone like this before, and for such a long time. But I know it will pass eventually, and to be honest I think its not so much about the girl, it was the rejection and my fear of being alone, thats what has made this such a crushing break up, like a lifetime of hurt never dealt with, i attached it all to her.... Thanks again, I also learned it sucks to be in a wedding band when your heartbroken, playing a first dance to a load of happy couples, i almost pulled an Adam Sandler from wedding singer.. Link to post Share on other sites
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