my soul is broken

[WiselyNaive]

i found out someone i was in a relationship with was dating/sleeping with two women at once.

 

you'd think that alone would be enough hurt right? but upon discovery we decided to confront him...when i thought i'd find a dumbfounded guy i found something so much worst & something i didnt expect...he denied me to her told her i was crazy & lying & it ended in a physical altercation (& once a man puts his hands on you there is no going back no matter the circumstances). watching a man who i thought was my boyfriend chase down another woman while screaming at me to leave him alone when i had no idea what was going on has to be one of the lowest points in my life. heart break doesnt cut it...it broke my soul..i was so in shock i still havent processed it. i went str8 nc..it hasnt even been a week yet & NC is a lot easier when there is no false hope so i know there is no chance in hell i will break it...i coudlnt even if i wanted to my lack of soul won't allow me..i had him blocked for 2 days before I removed the block under advice from family friends so i dont know if he ever attempted but thats besides the point.

 

you only half my side of the story but other than maybe making myself too available & being attached i really never did anything to hurt this man & i didnt deserve it which even he admitted (after she left) along with him saying he had 2 good women & he didnt know who to choose but he chose her over me & now i've ruined it by letting her know...earlier that day before we found out he even told me on the phone that he can do whatever because he knew i wasn't going anywhere...i guess he didnt know i was unraveling his lies behind scenes with plans to leave or perhaps he said that because he wanted me to go. but i guess it's just like i didnt know he "didnt even like me"...after she left was when he started acting the way i knew him to be..at this point after he had humiliated me in front of her and other people..put his hands on me nothing he said felt real..i listened but i didnt care anymore...he was saying he deserves the karma he is going to get and i did nothing wrong but he just chose her...he even said he would call me as i whimpered the words "please you just broke my soul if you have even a shred of respect for me you will never contact me again" (if he did it was while he was blocked thank god, but im betting he didnt)

 

it's a classic case of me giving my all to a man & becoming his doormat which lead him to seek out a woman who was much better at acting aloof.

 

i know this shouldnt matter but in in the case of ego...after he is done chasing down a woman who he chose over me...whether or not she accepts it or not (though in the end she told me she would never speak to him again)...will this man ever regret or think about what he has done to me? or will he always be too clouded by losing the woman he chose over me? the one who was busy trying to run away while he berated me in public, the one who kept her wits about her & really acted like she didnt care at all. he was so afraid of losing that woman & literally didnt care if i left at all...he was saying a bunch of things to me he never said before..like how he was using me & i had something he wanted...all in front of this woman..i swear this was a man who a day before was begging me to be with him...it didnt add up...perhaps this is a woman he believed would leave & i was the woman he felt would put up with it...perhaps i was...but that was before i knew the truth...I know i am strong enough to get over this guy though this is the longest ive gone without speaking to him since we starting dating & it's clear he love this woman & i was the oblivious girl on the side because of how easily he lost he senses faced with losing her.

 

what about me though? will he ever remember what he has done to me? will he regret it? show remorse?

[WiselyNaive]

please help?

[Zahara]

what about me though? will he ever remember what he has done to me? will he regret it? show remorse?

 

What about you? No one can tell if he will ever feel remorse of regret for what he has done. If someone has the capacity to treat another with such ill-treatment, why would you have the expectation of them having the capacity to feel empathy for you?

 

And even if he does, how does that change anything? Will you ever know? You won't. So does that change the situation? It doesn't.

 

You said that you blocked him but then two days laters unblocked because of family and friends. I am not sure what planet your friends and family are from but after what you went through with him, I am not sure why anyone would encourage you to keep an open line of communication with this person. Block him unless you want to keep being that doormat.

 

There is no point dwelling on him and what he thinks and feels. It does you no good at all. The only thing you need to do is to focus on why as you said, " it's a classic case of me giving my all to a man & becoming his doormat." Nothing else matters but that. You analyzing his behavior is you avoiding your need to work on and analyze your own issues.