Ztw Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 So my ex & I broke up almost a year ago. I did not speak to him for about 9 months. I changed my # & everything. He immediately started seeing another girl. So in November He tried to contact me numerous times. By getting in touch with my sister, emailing her ect. He dropped a note off at my house in January. Finally I broke down. So I decided to see what it was he wanted. We have talked almost every day since. We have met up a couple times. We kissed once & on a few occasions I almost slept with him but it did not happen. ( I don't want to be a booty call) So about a week ago he became distant. Me not wanting to get hurt once again by him I emailed him saying that unless he feels the way I do than we should go our separate ways. Maybe that was foolish but I've done nothing but cry & beat myself up for too long. I need to know. He responded with "I don't understand why we can't be just close friends. After everything we've been through".. (This is from someone who at first told me he wished things were different & how he missed me a ton). Just super conflicting actions & words from him. He then basically said that he's making way to many moves forward to go backwards. Making me feel like I'm old news & in the past...I'm really upset. Mostly at myself for letting him in again only to be devestated all over again. I texted him asking if we could talk & he blew me off saying he has no time until he comes back from a trip later this month. I did not even respond. I do care about him but under no circumstances can i just be friends. * he's been in Europe all week & has texted me alot.* WTF?!!! We dated for 81/2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 So my ex & I broke up almost a year ago. I did not speak to him for about 9 months. I changed my # & everything. He immediately started seeing another girl. So in November He tried to contact me numerous times. By getting in touch with my sister, emailing her ect. He dropped a note off at my house in January. Finally I broke down. So I decided to see what it was he wanted. We have talked almost every day since. We have met up a couple times. We kissed once & on a few occasions I almost slept with him but it did not happen. ( I don't want to be a booty call) So about a week ago he became distant. Me not wanting to get hurt once again by him I emailed him saying that unless he feels the way I do than we should go our separate ways. Maybe that was foolish but I've done nothing but cry & beat myself up for too long. I need to know. He responded with "I don't understand why we can't be just close friends. After everything we've been through".. (This is from someone who at first told me he wished things were different & how he missed me a ton). Just super conflicting actions & words from him. He then basically said that he's making way to many moves forward to go backwards. Making me feel like I'm old news & in the past...I'm really upset. Mostly at myself for letting him in again only to be devestated all over again. I texted him asking if we could talk & he blew me off saying he has no time until he comes back from a trip later this month. I did not even respond. I do care about him but under no circumstances can i just be friends. * he's been in Europe all week & has texted me alot.* WTF?!!! We dated for 81/2 years. This sucks, but it's just one more example of why you need to ask your exactly what he/she wants when they get back in touch. I've seen this story several times on LS. My guess is that he wanted to see you again to see if he wanted to get back together with you. Over the course of a few months, he decided against it for whatever reason. I would cut him off completely and move forward. There are no mixed messages here. You take him at his word, and move on. One of the worst things you can do is to continue to entertain these types of people. They will literally suck the life out of you. It's a much better use of time to go NC, and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 I agree with the other poster. He probably missed you, decided to give it a try, and changed his mind for whatever reason. Maybe he was with someone else and she/he broke it off.. who knows? I think it's hurtful to say that he's going forward and not backward.. but I do think that you should do the same thing and go forward.. go NC and if he tries to contact you again, be crystal clear about it, he's got to leave you alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 id stay away from the above babbling ^^^^^ Sorry you have reopened wounds. I think he thought he'd try, misses familar grounds etc but it doesn't take away the hurt you are feeling now. My advice is get yourself bak into the safety of No Contact. he doesn't want what you want, your needs and wants don't match. Take care of your heart. and don't contact lord beef Mousakka Link to post Share on other sites
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