Damn those dreams of ex. I am not happy with my life. depression.

[youcanever]

Misc, for like a month or two I feel like I am getting into deep chit. I am constantly unhappy. Just dealing with stuff because I have to.

 

I am working full time as an engineer and also studying my masters degree. I don't like my job that much, and I don't like studying my masters degree. To get my diploma, I need to study a lot so I don't even hit the gym for last 2-3 weeks.

 

I have no social circle, I have no gf. The girl I loved left me a year ago and told me to get out of her life. I did it but every 3-4 months she contacted me. She contacted me 3 months ago too and we hooked up. But then she left me again. I am still not over her.

 

I was so okay and started to forget her till lastnight till I saw that dream again.

 

First she was done for me, I felt nothing but then I hugged her and feelings started again. Now all I am thinking is how cute she was and how happy she will make next guy.

 

I feel miserable with my life. I went to shrink and even using a medicine called "cipralex" with the lowest dose. 5 mg. But it make me at least keep my chit together. But doesn't make me happy.

 

I feel dead inside. I miss my ex, I am a thin guy and still losing weight. I have so much financial debt due to cc and masters degree etc.

 

The more time passes the more dead inside I become and just looking around with empty eyes. No power, no energy, nothing.

 

On the other hand I feel that my ex is improving best and she will find an european bf soon and bang it out all night long because it has been long time she hasn't get any.

 

Damn these thoughts.

 

I feel bad.

[David87]

It doesn't matter if your ex is doing better than you, who knows if it's true or not. Appearances can be deceiving sometimes.

 

Te first step you'll have to make in your recovery is to let go of the past and stop talking to you ex or spying i don't know how you get those informations, it doesn't matter STOP IT.

[d0nnivain]

You have to find something that will make you happy. It's also got to come from you, not outside.

 

You need to go to the gym more. Exercise & endorphins help.

 

Do something to expand your social circle, even if it is going to an engineeering conference . . . you need to get out of your rut. Another option may be to volunteer. I know you say with your job & studies, time is limited but you'd be suprised at how much a busy person can pack into a day.

 

I'm just coming out of a depression which started about 3 years ago when my mom died. Everything overwhelmed me for the longest time but now I'm getting back to being my old self & it's amazing how much time I have.

 

Is it possible at this point to change your major for your masters to something you find more enjoyable?

[notthathard]

All the negativity you are thinking about is because you are letting you mind do it to you.

From now on try to reverse those negative thoughts and change them to positive.

Life might not be the best right now but try to think about the positive things, they are there.

 

Dreams are connected to your subconscious, you might have thought you were over her but you were not. It is a form of letting go just let it happen.

 

Don't worry about her hooking up with others, you will be doing the same in the future.

Find some new friends, go to Find your people - Meetup and join a group.

 

Hang in there dude, things will get way better soon but you have to take actions to fix the problems you have in life, they wont fix themselves.

[elseaacych]

As someone who is dealing with depression from losing a significant other, and hating grad school (law), not eating and losing weight, having frequent dreams about an ex, I can tell you, I RELATE.

 

Here're my recommendations for you. (I AM NOT A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, SO DO NOT SUB MY ADVICE FOR A PHYSICIAN'S)This is what I have done in the past two months and my life has improved significantly.

 

1. Acknowledge you feel bad, (Done.) and want to feel better.

 

2. Go to your university's mental health center and see a counsellor. Very frequently, they offer counselling for free. Go once a week. If you start seeing improvement, you may stretch out to every two weeks. But do not stop going until you can go at least two weeks without having depression related symptoms. Depression is like a cancer, and it needs to be blasted with therapy until it is deader than dead.

 

2.5. You may also want to see if you can up your med dosage to 25-50 mg. Remember these meds take time to work, and sometimes they take tweaking.

 

3. Find something you can eat, and eat it, three meals a day if you have t, to stop losing weight. For me it was toast and ice cream. Eating will help you focus and think clearer. Your brain needs power. And even if you are just feeding it ice cream, that's better than nothing. Eventually you can go back to real food.

 

4. LIGHT exercise. Go for a ten minute walk outside. Get some sun. Get some endorphins going Take a break from the books.

 

5. Study. Even if you have to make yourself do it. Go to class, even if you can't pay attention. If you find yourself getting distracted by something, remove the distraction. Change your study habits. Buy yourself a whiteboard if you normally do engineering problems on paper.

REMEMBER WHY you chose your field. Chances are, you enjoyed it before things started going downhill. Want to succeed. Want to be there.

 

6. Call your mom/dad/a friend and talk to them every so often.

 

7. Find a mentor in your field who has dealt with depression. They can offer advice on coping, studying, finding work.

 

8. Treat yourself nicely. Find thirty minutes or so every day to do something YOU want to do that engages your brain a bit in a different way than your engineering classes. Reading, a musical instrument, therapy art. Writing. It will help you unwind because you want to do it, and you are still engaging with something, and passivity is where the depression creeps in.

 

9. Find a sports team/exercise class to join, even if you aren't athletic. You are out there doing it with people, and frequently, adult sport leagues will want to go hang out and socialize after recreational games.

 

10. Come to love shack and vent if you need to. We understand and want to help. By the way, go strict NC with your ex. Block on everything, facebook, social media, phone, everything. Disconnecting will suck for all of ten minutes, but you will feel SO much better. Ignore her if she contacts you. You need to focus on you right now. You are the only person you can take care of, and she is not looking out for your best interest.

 

Anyway, I hope this helps. I'll check back in and can send you contact info if you need to talk to someone who's in the same boat. Good luck.

 

Sending you a big hug...