warrenorabbits Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I work at the same company as my ex and, unfortunately, we have to see one another every day for the next week. After our breakup we had a sine-wave of a relationship during which I generally made a fool out of myself while she moved on as if I didn't exist and started liking other guys. I'd say I'm 75 per cent over it right now, but every time I see her or hear from her it's like I'm taking another slide back into Constant-Cryingville. And now tonight I've agreed to go to an event at her friend's house ... and she and her "crush" will likely be there. Right now we are on good terms and, unfortunately, she is the closest friend I have since moving to this new city about two months ago. If I say something to her she will probably tell me to get completely lost and I'll never be friends with her again. I don't want that to happen because, although she has done some hurtful things in the past, she is for the most part a kind and understanding person. But right now I just want to forget about her, Eternal Sunshine style, and stop ripping the scab open over and over. Maybe I should just go for the other people who will be there. I have to see her at work anyway. Or maybe not. Link to post Share on other sites
TheKook Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 I honestly just wouldn't go to it. You'll probably just end up - as you say - ripping the scab open again. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 ...although she has done some hurtful things in the past, she is for the most part a kind and understanding person. ...so kind that she HURT you??? Oh, boy.... But right now I just want to forget about her, Eternal Sunshine style, and stop ripping the scab open over and over. So, don't keep ripping it off...Don't go. Maybe I should just go for the other people who will be there. I have to see her at work anyway. Or maybe not. This is an excuse for reasons only you really know. Is this a company sponsored event? If not, why feel obligated to go? It's at HER friend's house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author warrenorabbits Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 I decided not to go. I suppose that one of my concerns is not wanting to burn bridges. As I said, because of all we've been through over the past month, I feel that explaining my actions to her would make her never want to talk to me again. But I think we could be friends -- once I've found someone else and am completely over her. The hurtful things she's done have really been careless rather than malicious (but it's hard to get her to apologize), and we've had the chance to talk about the. That's what I mean when I say that she's "mostly" a good friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author warrenorabbits Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Also, there's still the matter of having to see her all this week. My approach so far has been to try not to look in her direction if there's no need to do so, but I can still hear her talking and laughing with the other guy. Is NC an all-or-nothing proposition? And I don't want to come off as angry or unfriendly; I'm neither. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Dude, she dumped you and is actively chasing other dudes in front of your face? You're sitting at work and you can hear her talking, flirting and laughing with this other dude? And YOU'RE afraid if your making HER mad? And you're afraid to say anything just in case you might screw up a chance of being "friends" with her in the future? That you'll spend your days walking around on eggshells around her? SCREW HER!!! Go NC. Heal and move on. You don't owe here sh*t and you don't have to explain sh*t to her. Chances are, this self entitled and self centered bitch won't even notice that you're gone. Link to post Share on other sites
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