Ex fiancée called after 7 days of no contact.

[Jam23]

So my ex fiancée called after 7 days of zero contact. I didn't answer, she was calling to ask how I was. Not entirely sure what this means or how to feel about it. It seems like it could have been just as easy to text. She even left a message.

[Philosoraptor]

Asking how you were? To relieve guilt or boost her ego. Completely selfish and no benefit to you.

[Zahara]

Guilt. Trying to make nice so that it relieves the heaviness of cheating on you.

 

Ignore. When she chose to do what she did, she gave up the right to know how you are and to be able to just pick up from where she left off.

Edited November 26, 2013 by Zahara

[Jam23]

That's kind of what I thought. I know she asks people who know me how I'm doing, I've told everyone I know she will see to just not tell her anything or tell her I'm doing great. In any case this is the first time she wanted to ask me personally. I thought it weird because it was almost like she just wanted to hear me. It was more of a boost to my confidence because it was her trying to contact me and me ignoring her this time.

[Chi townD]

Nope! She destroyed you and she feels guilty. That call wasn't for your benefit, it was for her own. I think she's done enough damage, don't you?

[BC1980]

What did the message say? I'm sure it's simple curiosity. It happens so often. If she actually cared, she would leave you alone.

[rec88]

Agree with everyone so far, it's hurting you and not helping her. It is neither her place nor her responsibility to check up on you. Remind yourself of this when it happens again, because it will probably happen again.

[Jam23]

She basically said hey just calling to see how your doing, call me whenever you get the chance. And this was the first time I've heard her voice in weeks and it didn't resound with the same confidence and no regrets tone she had last I spoke with her. She's done a lot not just to me but to the people closest to me and what sucks is everyone thinks I should hate her and be mad, but truth be told I can't hate her, and I can't stay mad at her. But that does not mean I forgive her.

[rec88]

Yup, I saw the same thing as far as hurting people she's close to. Many unintended consequences will come if that's the case. Just because she was confident last week doesn't mean she will be in a week/month/year. She will probably reach out for help in the future. Unfortunately, you are not in a position to help. She as to learn these things on her own. It's tough because like you said you won't always be mad. That's just the way it is. Sad stuff

[Chi townD]

She basically said hey just calling to see how your doing, call me whenever you get the chance. And this was the first time I've heard her voice in weeks and it didn't resound with the same confidence and no regrets tone she had last I spoke with her. She's done a lot not just to me but to the people closest to me and what sucks is everyone thinks I should hate her and be mad, but truth be told I can't hate her, and I can't stay mad at her. But that does not mean I forgive her.

 

Yeah, well. Now, she has people not telling her what's going on with you. Or people are telling her, "Not that's it's any of your business, but he's been better."

 

And since no one else is putting her at ease with how you're doing, she has to go to the source. OR! Someone didn't listen to you and let her have it with both barrels saying that you're a wreck.

 

She was confident in her last conversation with you because she convinced herself that losing you would be best for both of you. Now, she's finding out that her actions exactly hurt someone.