Is 2 weeks with no contact long enough for him to have realized what life's like without me? Whats the time period when they start to think "wow, shes really moved on, and shes not calling me, what would life really be like if she really did move on" I guess 2 weeks isn't long enough.
I recommend calling a psychic about this. There's really no way I personally can predict your situation because it totally depends on the person. Judging by the fact that you're asking, I bet 2 weeks is not long enough. And even if he did spend 5 minutes thinking the possibility over, where does that leave you? Newsflash: just because he realizes your life doesn't stop and start at his bidding doesn't mean he's going to suddenly think life is horrible without you and he can no longer live without you by his side. If he does suddenly realize, what kind of relationship is that? You have to not care about him in order for him to care about you?
i say at least a month before you can evaluate anything. i started seeing change in my ex though after just 2 weeks -- but he was in the relief stage. he said he reallllly needed/wanted time and space. but then a week later, he seemed to really miss me...it was in his eyes...so that was a total of 3 weeks...then a few days later, he was asking me what i was doing and to call him. but then i let it all slip and started calling him more, etc. i was too impatient and it was too hard. i should have just stopped but couldn't, it became an addiction....but after 4 weeks or so, it started to feel like we were dating again -- and he told me he wants to work things out. he did not date anyone else (don't ask how i know there are several reasons i know). but i was too impatient...even though we were talking and what not, it was still too one-sided. so i told him i don't want anything with us anymore and i broke it off for good.
it has only been 5 days at this point, and i pushed back the force of my decision with 2 drunken text messages friday night. but, i didn't say i want him back. he needs to suffer from his initial decision to take time and space away from me. if he wants me, why do that?? the point is, i didn't let enough time pass before i got excited and wanted him again. the good news is that i was able to reverse this situation, and leave HIM. now, i thought about the fact that i may have actually put him in a better position -- because now he doesn't feel guilty, as it was MY decision. the pressure is off of him...................HOWEVER!!!! it is only a matter of time before he actually sees this as a reprocussion of the initial decision he made. if you aren't going to stay and work it out, what does that say about the relationship? the way i see it, he got selfsih and thought that he would be in a position to take his time and space, have a fun summer, and have an amazing girl on the side or waiting in the wings. i took that control away from him last week and he should soon be afraid that that is HIS fault. i give it another month before things start hurting for him...and at that point, the only thing i will want is validation that i knew he wouild miss me and want me back. i will have moved on for sure, because this, to me, is abusive.
Yes its been 2 weeks for me, but my ex started dating someone new. While he was with her though, he was contacting me saying he missed me so much and loved me and thinks about me all day long. i dumped him because i wanted him to change somethings (distant, drinking). I thought he'd change and come back but instead he got angry that i broke it off and dated some new girl and its been 3 mths but i was always still in contact. this time i changed my number and havent called him in 2 weeks. you think this newness with the new girl will wear off soon? he even called her a freak to me once. then why is he with her?
wow, he's just weak. you are a woman and are probably more mature than him at this point in his life. it's simple: you injured his pride and now he's trying to get you back. i don't want to get in trouble for saying this, but a lot of guys act that way -- if they are immature, they will not "deal" with things. they will run from them, and that's exactly what my ex did. instead of changing his behavior and giving the relation ship the attention it deserved, he said he needed time and space.
listen, these guys are just immature. they convey cowardice. so, in these cases, all you can do is be NICE -- but JUST NICE. answer their calls, but say you are eating or in the middle of something. don't ignore them, this will show them you care. be indifferent. if my ex calls, i'm picking up the phone! and i'll act like i would with the mailman or the walmart cashier. at first, they will feel great that you are acknowledging them....but you and i know all too well that the only torture worse than being ignored is being acknowledged in an INDIFFERENT way!! my ex has done that to me now many times, like after we would fight in our relationship. it felt horrible. he deserves the same treatment.
I think it all depends. In my case (which you read and were kind enough to reply to), my boyfriend came back after two days because he realized how much he missed me. We talked and decided that we had just been spending too much time together, and not enough time pursuing our own interests. Now, a week after we broke up, we're happier than ever.
In other cases, despite the No Contact rule, the person may never come back. Sometimes relationships just aren't meant to work out, and sometimes breaking it off is for the best. I don't think NC should be used as a game to make the other person want you more and/or miss you. It should be used as a time for the breakee to heal, find him/herself again, and starting enjoying life. That's what I decided to do, and while I missed my boyfriend and had a hard time not thinking about him for those two days, I did the best I could and involved myself in other things. HE came back to ME. Mind you, in our case, there was no unhappiness. Just too much time together.
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