SoonMyFriend Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 So this is so ridiculous but here goes... I have issues with anxiety and in the past this lead to me having problems having sex (I dealt with vaginismus for a period of time). In my last relationship (which was only my second sexual partner) I was really scared. I was scared to fail and scared I wouldn't be able to have sex with this guy. End result - we never had sex in our 8 month relationship. We did lots of other things, but never sex. He was also a bit nervous about having sex since he hadn't been with a girl in a long period of time (3 years) and I think he was equally afraid of disappointing me (and also I think he was afraid of hurting me). And I regret it. Since that relationship I had a ONS and it's actually incredible how much confidence that ONS gave me. It was so powerful for me to know I COULD have sex. But it's left me feeling terrible about the ex I never slept with. How do I move on from the regret of not sleeping with my ex? Part of me just wishes I could turn back the clock and not be so afraid. Is it just as simple as sleeping with new people? I have to admit, part of me really just wants to get my ex in the bedroom so I can get over the regret by actually sleeping with him. This feels so silly since normally people regret having sex, not the other way around... Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Regret is the single biggest life suck we have in our repertoires. There is no way to go back and undo or do what we regret, therefore the feeling just leaves us with massive amounts of dissatisfaction and guilt. Therefore, the best thing you can do is forgive yourself, get well, and focus on becoming a good bedroom partner for your next relationship. There is no going back, only going forward with more information and more hope. Best, Grumps Link to post Share on other sites
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