I'm just tired...

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Hey guys. It's almost 4am here, and I'm having a pretty difficult time today. I'm almost praying you guys can help me out tonight.

 

So, I'm in the Taco Bell parking lot in a long line (BTW, they are now charging $2.50 for a Beefy 5-layer!! What?!? They use to be 99 cents!). I'm on my phone just looking up stuff, and I get this random itch to look at something I shouldnt...no not that, my ex. We have been broken up for 11 months now, and I have moved across the US, taken on a new job and a new life to get myself past this. For the most part, I'm MUCH better than I was about 9 months ago, but it still lingers with me from time to time. I have even been going on dates with a new girl who was really nice...but more on that in a second.

 

This is a lesson for all of the new users: When we say NO CONTACT, it means NO CONTACT. That includes texting, calling, and blocking of all social media. In todays messed up society, that last one is big. I deleted my facebook permanently and blocked every other social media site. I even went as far as having my friend password block all remaining apps that I could get around and look at. I have a huge issue with being nosey.

 

SO, I google her name and see something I dont want to see..its a picture of her and her new boyfriend just snuggling up together. Ugh...made my stomach turn. This was guy #2. She left me for another guy who was already IN a relationship with another girl and using her as a side piece. After a while, he wouldn't leave his GF for her, so she said she was pregnant. Even started up a fund me type website so people could help out. Well, the dude had to tell his GF and of course, they broke up. She finally had to come out and tell him she wasnt preggo, SO she faked a miscarriage. Classy girl right? Anyways, she met a guy VERY shortly after that, and have been going out for like three months. That was about the time I put a hiatus on everything.

 

So, I snoop. Found out they MOVED IN with eachother. Only after three months! It took us a year and a half! Ugh, did that have me fuming. THIS IS WHY WE STAY AWAY FROM THIS ABUSE FOLKS! The saying ignorance is bliss speaks volumes. So, of course it took me back. I couldnt even eat my OVERpriced Taco Bell. I calmed myself down and said "Well, we are moving on and its none of your concern anymore. Plus, you are going on dates with this nice young lady. Things are getting better." ....so later on, I text the new girl (weve been texting a lot the past month). I asked her how things were going, and she seemed distant. Oh s*** here we go. I ask if she wanted to hang out this week, and I get the "Oh, Im doing this, this, and this"....so I asked if there was a good time, and she dropped the "I think you are really nice and very funny, but I dont see this going anywhere." Stabbed right in the heart. I said its cool but can I ask why and she gave me the ol "Its not you at all, its me" type saying. I'm not mad at her at all because if it wasnt there for her, it wasnt there. Just really crappy to hear. She wished me luck and I deserved something good. I felt like I was getting fired.

 

 

So, now I'm here alone just feeling really dejected. You remember being kids and playing sports at recess or in science class picking lab partners? Remember the feeling you or a buddy had when it seemed like EVERYONE was getting picked but you? Thats how I feel right now. I dont know what to do. I feel so unwanted right now, and I know thats how MANY of you feel currently. I understand your pain and the people trying to help understand that too because they have been there. I'm there currently. Where do I go from here? I feel like every turn I make is a bad one. I feel like everything I do is for not. I just need some guidance and I dont know really where else to turn.

 

Even the people that help need help sometimes too.......

[keepontruckin]

She is exhibiting the behaviour that my wife has exhibited... They run from one to the next, and to the next, and to the next...

 

When we were together, I found it odd to hear talk about her ex's... I would never talk about mine. I now realize that's the life she is going to live forever... I will be the another ex on her "belt."

 

They are good at one thing... Running.

[BigGirlPantiesOn]

Perhaps you can look at it from this perspective.....

 

 

Thank GOD she didn't pick up or else YOU would be the guy who was lied to about being pregnant and destroy your other relationship.

 

God's rejection is God's protection.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Keepontruckin-Aint that the truth? She will run again I'm sure.

 

Biggirlpantieson-You know, at some points when I feel good, I feel like a dodged a huge bullet with her. When I'm feeling low, I can't help but miss her. She was a big part of my life for three years and it was just gone. Taken from me just like that.

 

Seeing that stuff last night did me NO favors. I saw she was writing notes to this guy like she use to write me, and playing with the cat I adopted for her, and living under the same roof we use to. I'm doing my best to move on, but its hard. Gets especially hard when you start liking a girl and she pretty much says she doesn't feel the same. Trying to get back up on that horse and then the horse just bucks you right back off. It sucks for sure

[iouaname]

I know that it must be difficult, but if what you're saying is all accurate, it sounds like you're the winner in this situation

[mtnbiker3000]

Wow! Our stories are pretty similar and I can relate A LOT with what you are saying. Although you are further along in NC as I am only 5.5 months. I was also together for 3 years. And my ex also found a new guy pretty quick and maybe even on to another at this point. Who knows? And, I am pretty sure she was fresh out of a RS when we got together. Seems she likes to have a guy buy her side at all times. And, as soon as it is not roses anymore, on to the next. This makes sense as she moved pretty fast with me. Basically seduced me pretty hard in the beginning, and I ate it up. I mean, why wouldn't I? She is younger, hot and smart. She really was running the RS and I was just the current victim. She really never had any deep feelings for me. Just thought I was cute and worth her time for a while. Well that ended, and now I am left to pick up the shards of my broken heart. I was definitely way more into our RS than she was. I was in love. She wasn't!! Damn, I'm a weak idiot!!

 

Totally agree about not looking at anything associated with the ex. Since starting NC, I have been smart enough to not torture myself by checking up on her. Out of site, out of mind. I only found out that she was seeing someone new by a totally random accident. And it did hurt for a minute, but not too bad.

 

I too have dated a bit in the last couple of months and have since stopped. I had some good luck and even got a little nookie, which I needed. But I just didn't feel anything real about them, so I decided to stop for now. I am moving soon, so no reason to start up a new RS at this point. I understand the fact that you are feeling dejected, because, although I really wasn't too invested in any of these girls, I think I was putting out a 'not emotionally available' vibe and 2 of them gave me the same 'talk' you describe. Luckily, I didn't really care because I wasn't really into them anyway. But it did feel shi**y for a few minutes. Just like you said about being picked last at recess…

 

The universe has a plan, and ya can't go against it. If dating is not working right now, then so be it. Keep focusing on yourself and be patient. That's what I'm doing. Things WILL work out!!