Jump to content

Got my EX girlfriend back after 3 months breakup without NC. Story inside


Recommended Posts

Hello all,

 

Long story short, my girl of 4 years broke up with me about 5 months ago. 2 months ago I got her back.

 

I'm 22, she is 20.

 

Why she broke up with me was because I took her for granted, was too comfortable and sometimes way too immature. I even didn't have a job and basically lived in my moms basement - we met occasionally.

 

And yes, we had fights, we were both jealous and IN love, but nothing seemed to be moving. We were in the same phase for almost 4 years nonstop.

 

So 2,5 months ago she broke up with me and she went away with a rebound guy. We had some minor on/off periods in our relationship, but this time it looked REAL.

 

Her explanation was: I have become boring, non-attractive and I'm miserable in this relationship since I'm not putting any effort in it.

 

Right after break up:

 

Step 1) I begged, cried, told her that she is everything to me. Obviously it didn't help.

 

Step 2) After I had begged for a week, I decided to start improving myself. I went GYM, started running & eating properly, got tanned etc. So basically I started to become an alpha again (like I was before our relationship)

 

Step 3) I got a proper job. I'm actually a smart guy, I was just becoming way too lazy with her and I thought she's OK with that. Appearantly she wasn't.

 

Step 4) I started to date another chicks (nothing too serious) just to get my ideas away from her. It helped a bit, but not much actually.

 

Step 4) I kept NC for 2 weeks until she saw me with another girl. Right after that we started chatting again. She kinda opened up to me said what she didn't like about me, I said to her what I didn't like about her etc. We had huge fights, since were both jealous cuz we were dating another people.

 

The conversation went pretty bad overall, we told bad things to eachother and I thought that it's wise to go NC again.

 

Step 5) Another 1,5 weeks of NC and I contacted her and said that we should meet. She agreed (that was a shock to me). We drove around for 3-4 hours and just talked about us, our past etc and she even told me that she had been missed me even though she is with another guy.

 

She basically told me that the rebound guy is nothing too serious, because she doesn't have much friends and she just doesn't want to be lonely and don't want to be with me either since I'm unable to make her happy.

 

I asked pretty straight questions, like: "Is there a way to get back together" and she said "Yes, but I won't tell you what you should do. You should know me enough to know what makes me happy again"

 

Step 6) I was confused and still thinking whether I should move on or really give a "fight" for her. Next day I thought that I should at least try, otherwise she might slip away with the rebound and I might start regretting it for the rest of my life.

 

Now, many ppl advise in this situation that the smartest thing to do is to back OFF immediately & NC. It might be true, I don't know, but I decided to go opposite way.

 

Step 7) I realized that asking questions about her rebound is not a wise thing to do and it would only push her away. So, at this point I completely forgot(intentionally) that she have a rebound.

 

After 3 days of our last meeting, I decided to call her again and ask her for movies. She agreed again (I really don't know why, I guess because I only made ACTION, not small talk)

 

The "date" went pretty well, I dropped her home and went NC.

 

After 4-5 days she called me and asked "Are you doing anything today? I thought we could meet up and eat something" - I agreed.

 

Before I went on a date, I bought her 100 roses. I knew she loves roses, but I only gave her few roses in the past 4 years, so I thought it would make her happy.

 

Appearantly, I was right. She was pretty much blown away about it and said that I shouldn't waste so much money on her. I said that I couldn't care less since I have proper job and I'm finally starting to live my OWN life. The date went pretty well, we walked many hours until I dropped her home.

 

NB: I did not try to seduce her sexually, we didn't kiss, we didn't touch eachothers. I try to appear as cold as possible, but at the same time make her happy/anxious/surprised.

 

Step 8) After those 2-3 well gone dates I was still kind of confused. I thought that maybe I'm getting friendzoned, because she still had this rebound guy. However, I didn't talk about it with her. I made myself clear, that I didn't give a **** about the rebound guy and there is only YOU & ME.

 

Right after that date we started talking online for almost everyday. We went out, I noticed that I'm starting to attract her again.

 

I was a real nymphomaniac while we were in a relationship, so it was EXTREMELY HARD to hold myself back. However, I managed to do it.

 

We had 2-3 dates and I gave her some very nice necklace that she always wanted (nothing too expensive). Again, she was blown away and asked "How did you know that I love it?" and I said smth like "Cmon, I know you for 4 years, I know everything about you".

 

After that date she still didn't invite me to her place and I was too afraid to ask it either. I tried to look happy, confident and better man (although I was still quite devastated).

 

I didn't answer her fb messages for a few days and then told her that I'm probably moving out from my parents house and therefore I'm being extremely busy because of it. (Which was not entirely true, but I was planning to move out eventually).

 

And after that she told me that she wants to live together with me. I told her that this is impossible, because you have another guy. After a day she told me that she is leaving that guy, nothing works out. The rebound guy had been extremely jealous about me & and my ex, cuz we were kinda dating and I gave her gifts that he couldn't.

 

TODAY: I haven't moved out yet, but we have been together for almost 2 months now. We are already choosing apartment and she really seems to be happy with me. I'm surprising her, trying to be the best man I could and putting my maximum effort in this relationship.

 

Even when we broke up again, I know that I did my best I could. And if it wasn't enough for her than **** that.

 

At least I'm now 2.0 version of me. I'm becoming more confident, secure, better me after every day goes past. And she knows that.

 

 

 

 

So if you guys have similar issues like mines then just TAKE ACTION. If your girl truly loves you then NC might be option, but it hurts a lot. It hurts, because we don't know anything. We don't know if she still loves you, if you can still make it work etc.

 

And you have to make ACTION without small talk. There's no point in talking that you changed. You have to SHOW her.

 

You just have get your balls together and get MOTIVATION and start IMPROVING YOURSELF. If you improve YOURSELF, you can be a better man in a relationship as well.

 

It's hard to hit gym, go to 9-5 job and still be in the university. When I first went to running I started crying like a girl. It had crazy feelings and I thought that I shouldn't be doing it. However, I continued and day after day I become more stronger.

 

And if I think back to the breakup... Even though it was probably the most devastating thing in the past 20 years, I'm happy it happened. It helped me to find myself and who I want to be.

 

I really hope that it helps. If anyone have had similar or opposite stories to share then feel free to shout em out.

 

P.S: No small talk over internet/text/calling, only ACTION!

Edited by onlineonly
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

good work man! i hope all is well

 

seems pretty similar to my situation without the getting back together part.

 

My ex left me for another guy. 2 months ago, i begged at first, then went NC. We met once a few weeks ago, and she was crying and kept asking to be my friend, i didnt know what to say, but that i wanted to be but i didnt know right now or something. I have improved myself a lot too, and she noticed (which i think is part of the reason she was crying a lot).

 

I messaged her to bring something on a trip we are going on with friends (crazy i know), and she answered back along with a big paragraph saying that she didnt mean to give me the wrong impression and that everything in her life is really good etc.

 

I know she thinks this guy is perfect, no one else sees that. Seems like she was trying to convince herself while telling me to back away. She ended saying that were werent even ready to think about being friends right now.

 

Ill be spending three days with her starting tomorrow...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Good for you. Hopefully you can maintain those changes on top of a relationship with her. Good luck and happy relations.

 

A fella just can't find any happy "got ex back after she went gay" stories. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...