No Contact Does Work!!!

[Starnette83]

hi for everyone who has been broken by a guy or girl...

and they have pushed u away..i think the best thing is to not call them , email em, or NOTHING..make it seem as though u have disapeared..

the more u call em, or show up..the more they reject u..it NEVEER works..it just makes u seem needy and gives them more of a reason to reject u!!!

 

trust me!!

 

everytime i have chased or tried talkign to my bf the more he just acted worst, and it just felt useless...its like iw anted to show him i cared but it just pushed him away

 

then i changed it and i did the no contact..i blocked him from aim, didnt call him, and just made it seem like i disapeared...6 days later he contacted me!! and he even told me that if i would have called him it would have annoyed him and he wouldve been whatever with me..i dont understand this..but thats how humans work!!

 

goodluck and hope this works!

 

so no contact does work!!

[KK'sLove]

You know I thought about that myself and I have a story to tell you and hopefully you will give me your advice. Here's my story (this is the long but trust me, it's the condensed version...sorry) and what do you think?

 

I met a guy beginning of April. We really hit it off and spent a ton of time together the first few weeks, then one night, he thought I told him I loved him...I didn't. However, everything has changed since then. We've talked about it but it still won't get back to normal. He stopped calling and hanging out with me. (By the way, he's not ready for a relationship, he got out of a bad engagement in March and I completely understand this). Over the last 6 weeks, I have called him and asked him to hang out, he always has plans. One night I told him I didn't want to talk to him again and he was pissed and I didn't call him for a week. He was happy when I called but still he didn't hang out. About 3 weeks ago, he surprised me and showed up at the bar I hang out at, I was shocked. The next day, I called him and he said that he went there to see me. The following week he actually called me, it's was my b-day and he called to wish me a good one, I asked him to hang out with us and he said he wasn't sure and he didn't show. The following week I stopped at his house and we chatted (about life, not about us) for a while, I left him a message that night and he called back the following night. I asked why he didn't come the night of my b-day and he said that he stayed home because his friends didn't want to go out and he didn't want to show up by himself. I asked if he liked me still and he said that he wouldn't call me back if he didn't. On Sat. I called again and asked if he wanted to hang out, he said that he had already promised his buddy he would see him (yes, I called a lot this week, normally I call once a week). Then on Sunday, heard of this band coming into town and again I called (I know, I know...more calling) and left a message. He loves this band and I said I was going with a group of people. Well, he never called back. I thought about what he had said and took it as okay, he doesn't like me.

 

I didn't call him for 9 days (this was hard) but I got bad news and need to talk to him just to cheer myself up so I called him on Tuesday. We talked for a few minutes and he said he just got out of the shower and would call me back in 10 minutes. An hour later, he called. I didn't plan on telling him my news but it just felt normal to so I did. The doctors think the lump in my thyroid is probably cancer and we talked about it. He wanted to know everything, what the doctors said, when my appointments are and so on. It was late and his boss called on his cell to tell him where to work the next day. He said that he would have to talk to me another time. We hung up I tried to call another one of my friends back, her line was busy so I tried over and over again and the last time I hung up. My phone immediately rang once. I think that he was calling me back (it was too late for anyone else to call) and when I hung up it went through on my side but not to him on his.

 

Well, what do you think? See, I've tried the "no calling" thing and it doesn't work. He told me when I first met him that he doesn't call anyone normally. His friends always call him to hang out, but he did call me in the beginning. I'm very confused about him...does it sound like he likes me or not and what do you think I should do? Since I told him about the cancer I thought that I shouldn't call and see what he does? See if he cares? Do you think he does or will call?

 

Since your's is working out, I would appreciate any advice you can give me. I always think be nice and show them that you are interested but now I just don't know. Thanks!

[dasani08810]

He told me when I first met him that he doesn't call anyone normally. His friends always call him to hang out,

 

Uhhh, does this mean what it sounds like? Is everyone to bow and worship this guy? Is he just a wee bit stuck on himself? If he said it the way I'm reading it; Babe, he's no loss!!

[dreamguy]

He told me when I first met him that he doesn't call anyone normally.

Weird how dasani08810 and I only commented on this particular line. Do you know why ? Because I'm a guy and I can tell you it's most probably phony. It was just a way to make you call him more and more and run after him.

 

The doctors think the lump in my thyroid is probably cancer [...] Since I told him about the cancer I thought that I shouldn't call and see what he does? See if he cares? Do you think he does or will call?

First of all, my sincere sympathies go to you about this. I hope you'll get well soon!

You have to stay strong because your mind often affects your body's immune system (at least that's what I read).

As for not calling him right now, I think it's absolutely necessary to stay away from him. He knows everything he needs to know (even the latest news about your health issue). Don't chase him.

[KK'sLove]

Thanks for the replies and the advice. I think this guy is worth the effort but I just feel like I'm running in circles and I can't seem to get out. He's the first guy that has really intrigued me in a long time and I feel that he is special, impossible, but special. I just wish that I could get his attention, I know that he likes me but I can't figure out why he's so distant. I tried contact, no contact, I just don't know anymore what to do. He's totally in control and he knows that, and he knows that I hang out at the same place all the time (all my friends are there) and he can just show up like he did that night to see me. The problem is that I want to start going to other places but I'm afraid that it will work out that it's the night he finally shows up. So I go there every weekend, yes, I do have fun but I'm constantly hoping and watching the door in case he shows up. Pathetic huh? I know and I'm 28 but this dating thing is new to me (I've been in serious relationships for the last 10 years) What would work for you guys? What can I do to get his attention? (And I don't want to use my health issues like that, it's just immoral, and I don't know if I should of even told him in the first place, it just kinda fit in the conversation we were having) Was it okay to tell him?

 

Thanks for the comment on my health, I'm trying to stay strong emotionally so I'm strong physically but it seems like I just can't get this guy out of my head and focus on myself for a while. Maybe it is a self defense tactic, so that I don't worry about my health. Who knows. All I know is that when I close my eyes, I see him.

Wow, I'm pathetic, but can you help? Thanks!

[dreamguy]

Ok let me start by answering your last comment.

You are not pathetic. You're human. Keep that in mind.

 

As for telling him about your health issues, I think it's fine. In some cases (among which health issues) honesty is sometimes the best decision.

 

But your case is a bit different than the others (since it involves health matters).

You have to know whether he's just a habit (someone you've been accustomed to) or he's the one you Love with all your heart. Trust me, most of the time it's very very difficult to make a difference between habit and love.