John194 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I talked to people in real life already but idk. So like three nights ago my gf didn't come home. She went to her moms; who albeit lives like an hour away. She sent me a text I'm at my moms and I'll be home after work tomorrow. We live together and have an apartment we just moved into six weeks ago. We both met in a rooming house. She lived a floor below me and we talked and started dating for like 4 months and then we moved into this new place and everything was so exciting and new. When we came here we started getting on each others nerves. Not crazy calling each other names but like what i felt like was any normal couple. So the morning at her moms she calls and says she needs to break up. I wanted to know if she was cheating so I called her moms and she picked up and reaffirmed we were breaking up and we'd talk later. So I tried to do my own thing. My friends came over we went out to A bar. I danced with some girls with some guilt but I was drunk and felt a little mad. I didn't get anywhere with them but a little dancing and conversation. She cited reasons like I don't like one of her friends but her friend is very weird and controlling and feels like "I steal all her friends time so the entirity shes there i have to act like a ghost" I brought this up to my gf and i said your friend is really starting to get on my nerves demanding you so much AND not wanting me involved. So she said she feels like I'm criticizing her life and her as a person I mean theres more to it than this. Though finally last night she called and we talked for three hours and at the end around midnight she hung up with a promise to call and not definite answer on whether it was truly over. I said we can work on this so everybody is emotionally happy and I will work on what she feels is criticism. So today I called her when i said i would and she didn't answer; i waited like forty five minutes and sent her a text like have a good day doing (whatever) and she sent me back "thanks (name)" i'll call you later. I know people say move on don't get your hopes up; live your life and I have been my friend is coming over for a little today and i went over my parents last night and i go to college and have a job. I could just immerse my self in that and talk to girls there and maybe try to meet some interesting girls who want a bf for when schools over or something idk. Advice? Should i continue with my gf now or throw in the towel and give her the space she says she needs and try and get a new gf and act like nothing is even happening? She says she still loves me and i'm the most electric guy shes ever been with. She cited it as a reason she loves me and wants to break up. Shes like your so kind and amazing and great in bed but your to crazy for me and not mellow enough. I don't know what she means bye this. I think i'm a little over bearing and need to stop acting like i'm in charge of her and let her fly. idk advice? Sorry just confused and don't what to think. Link to post Share on other sites
hannah11 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Don't change your 'electric' personality. Don't mellow out or change who you are for her because some day there will be a girl and that personality of yours will be her favorite part of you. She doesn't really still love you, if she loved you then she wouldn't have a list of things that she doesn't like about you. Move on, let her be, do your own thing. Don't act like nothing is happening, because something is. You guys are breaking up. Go hang out with your friends and what not. Oh and the trend on here, I'm fairly new to this site as well, but I've noticed everyone goes with the 'no contact' rules. Just go along with these and it makes it easier to move on. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366654-caliguy-no-contact-guide-updated#post4510329 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John194 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 your probably right. you think i should just not contact her. She was all like promising me a call and keeping up contact. She was confused on the phone and said i had her kind of convinced. you think i should just cut it off? i was thinkin i'll give her a couple days and let it go after a couple days if shes not back or is still undecided. I'm grateful for your advice but i feel if she came back or saw me it would be over. shes at least taking my calls and answering my texts. she also has called once or twice to talk for short moments. so idk. i'm just chillin with my friends watching sports. school starts again tomorrow and i'll be distracted from all this. i at least got her to agree not to move out. i convinced her not to leave. she wanted to move out but i got her to stop and keep in contact. she admitted that she wanted to continue to talk to me and keep me in her life but i dont wanna be her back up or her booty call. Link to post Share on other sites
hannah11 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 So you guys broke up but your still going to be living together? That just sounds like a really dumb idea. No offense. Yes I think you should just break it off. If not then you will get confused by it all. She is sending a lot of mixed signals....so I don't know, like it seems like she is just making up excuses to end the relationship. But she is still clinging on telling you she cares about you in case her option one falls through. Basically shes keeping you as a back up plan right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John194 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 No not living together but she wanted to come up and get all her stuff over the next couple days but i convinced her not to and give her self some space and see me in a couple days for coffee or something and if shes not for it its over. She seemed to agree to this. I just worded it like think of it like sports somebody wins fifty games, hes the man but if he loses a couple times he sucks. So i said don't let a little period give you a bad taste in your mouth about our relationship. like i wanna mend the relationship and get her back here but everybody says just let it go its stupid youll crash one more time. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Let her go. If she is dead set on breaking up, then she either has another guy she wants to date, or she really cant stand bieng around you, so let her go. Go back out dancing and get one of those girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John194 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 yeah dude your totally right. Shes being totally weird and distant. It could be noted shes 29 and i'm 23. Link to post Share on other sites
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