Tac9109 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 We (M/F) were together for 2 years...today was actually supposed to be our 2 year anniversary. He broke up with me two weeks ago...for the 4th time. I know, terrible right? I dont know what to make of this, I am just hurting and not knowing what's going on in his mind. The first time he broke up with me, I drove over to his house to talk and beg for him to stay. He said no, kicked me out. 2 days later he comes back, saying he made a mistake etc. We get back together. Second time, we get into a huge fight and he breaks up with me over the phone; I beg and cry, he says no. He comes back within 24 hours. Third time, we get into a fight, he doesn't talk to me for 3 days, and I finally initiate contact by texting/calling. He texts me saying he wants a break, and I refuse. So he texts me saying "Then we're done". To which I say okay and leave it at that. A week later, I break down and contact him, and he immediately replies. We get dinner, and he is mad at ME for breaking up! He says he didn't want to break up, just wanted a break and that it was my fault that we broke up. Stupidly, I get back with him anyway because I am weak and I love him. He was so terrible whenever we would fight though, he would hang up in the middle of conversations, he would turn his phone off for hours and ignore me....it drove me crazy. Several times he would threaten to break up with me and I would cry and beg, basically humiliate myself, and I don't know why. He would scream and cuss at me and tell me that I made him that way, that he was a calm guy before dating me and that I push him to his breaking point and that's why he yells. When he wanted to get a rise out of me, he woud deactivate his Facebook so that I would ask him what the hell was going on. I never said anything mean to him, I treated him so well. I bought him gifts all the time, I'd buy him food, take him out on dates, we'd have sex 7-10 times a week, I'd give him constant blowjobs, massages, back scratches, everything. I'd help him with his homework, I'd write him love notes and draw him picture. I was so in love with him. (Writing this out makes me feel ashamed). Anyway, on to the drama. We have been fighting almost everyday for the past month. He had a huge certification test to study for, so he would study from 12-6 almost everyday, and then text me afterwards so that I could meet him at his house or we could go out. I started feeling like he was taking me for granted so I was bitter and moody, and we fought constantly . I started to hate and resent him for how he had treated me, because he has messed up a lot and I gave him chance after chance. He would "forget" we had plans to hang out, and when I would get mad at him for it, he would text me a weak apology and call me irrational and crazy for being angry. Well, we had a big fight and I told him to drive to my house to apologize and he did. He suggested that we have some space for a few days and I said fine. He pushed it further by asking for a break, to which I said okay whatever. I'm walking back to my house and he calls after me "Don't you love me? Aren't you going to fight for me? Why are you just letting me walk away?" I get mad at this, and we talk it out. We agree to work on things, I said I'd work with his study schedule more and wouldn't be so picky at him. He said he'd text me more. Flash forward a couple of days, another fight. We had loose plans to hang out, but he said that he was going to study and would let me know what was up. 9pm rolls around and he texts me saying hi, how are you, typical stuff. I ask what time he got done studying, and he said around 6. So I ask him why he didn't text me to hang out and he responded that he had hung out with his guy friend. I was so pissed off but I was calm and asked him why he lied to me about having to study, why he put in more effort to see his friend and not me, and why he didn't want to hang out with me. He got angry with me, saying things like "Oh my ****ing god can't I just hang out with my friends, I don't always have to hang out with you!!" So I call him to talk and he starts accusing me of not loving him, of being bored with the relationship, of being miserable and not trying hard enough.So he asks for a break, I say no. And then he starts going all cold and says "We won't work. We fight too much, nothing is ever going to change. This isn't going to work. I still love you and want to be with you but it won't work. I cry and beg, he rejects me. Anyway, the next day I'm in the hospital (for unrelated reasons, it was already scheduled), and he shows up because I texted him to let him know. He said he didn't want to lead me on but shows up anyway. He holds my hand, kisses me, cuddles me and announces that we are back together! I keep telling him to leave if he's not seriously committed and he keeps insisting on staying and being there for me. He stays all night, and I get admitted to another hospital for 6 days. I call him my first day there, we have a nice conversation, and I once again ask if he's serious about staying. He insists that yes, he is, and promises me roses for when I get out. The day after, I call him and he's quiet. I ask him what's wrong, and he says that we won't work. That he loves me but we won't work. I cry again because I am incredulous that he's breaking up with me while I am in the hospital, and ask him what the hell. He says that he keeps trying to leave but I keep pulling him back, and that he was wrong for leading me on. I call him a horrible person, and hang up. It's been two weeks now, and I just....I don't know what the **** happened. I'm proud of myself for not contacting him at all. He hasn't contacted me either, and his Facebook is deactivated. My question is, is this another game? I'm not getting back with him, I'm done with his **** but what the hell happened? Can anyone tell me what's going on in his mind? He has dumped me four times and I'm just so weak and broken because I am stupid. Help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 His immature and doesn't know what he wants. that's even worse. So give him his space he wants. And it's true. You cannot contact him first. Don't ask for him to come back or anything. If anything he needs to decide on his own because then it will always seem like he had to come back because of you, not because he wants to. And you spoilt him! he thinks he can get away with it Everytime cause you will bed him back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tac9109 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 I don't want to be with him anymore, for me this is it. He treated me so poorly and I deserve better. I guess I just want him to come crawling back so that I can give him a piece of my mind you know? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I don't want to be with him anymore, for me this is it. He treated me so poorly and I deserve better. I guess I just want him to come crawling back so that I can give him a piece of my mind you know? I don't believe this. If you don't want anything to do with him, have nothing to do with him. It sounds like you do. Either that or you are attracted to the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I don't want to be with him anymore, for me this is it. He treated me so poorly and I deserve better. I guess I just want him to come crawling back so that I can give him a piece of my mind you know? It's time to let go. If you allowed it to get to him dumping you four times, he is not responsible for your feelings or his mistreatment of you. You are. It's time to stop focusing on his actions and start figuring out what about you allowed YOU to fall this far. He was doing what he always did. You kept going back. Dig deep. Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I don't believe this. If you don't want anything to do with him, have nothing to do with him. It sounds like you do. Either that or you are attracted to the drama. I think it's pretty natural to want to give him a piece of her mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I think it's pretty natural to want to give him a piece of her mind. Meh. She's had plenty of other breakups with this guy to do that. At this point it's best to just bounce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tac9109 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 It's just confusing because he'd come back crying and apologizing, even went to couples counseling with me for a few months. He seemed like he really wanted to change and then blindsided me with this. The last break up happened over a year ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 It's just confusing because he'd come back crying and apologizing, even went to couples counseling with me for a few months. He seemed like he really wanted to change and then blindsided me with this. The last break up happened over a year ago. At this point it's a pattern. You've given him plenty of chances. Time to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 The tears mean nothing. Time to be done with him for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tac9109 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 I will move on, I'm just....terrified he will come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I will move on, I'm just....terrified he will come back. He can only come back if you allow him to. If he comes back and you accept him back, then it's on you at this point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I will move on, I'm just....terrified he will come back. Well he cant come back if you don't let him. Just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 (edited) He can only come back if you allow him to. If he comes back and you accept him back, then it's on you at this point. Hey you copied my post and beat me by 1 minute..you suck. Its my network and damn phone. Lol Edited February 4, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tac9109 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 True...I'm just all kinds of confused, not really sure what the hell happened and what made him do this. I want answers I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 True...I'm just all kinds of confused, not really sure what the hell happened and what made him do this. I want answers I guess. There's not going to be an answer that satisfies you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts