gingerpounder Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 My girlfriend broke up with after a year and a half and a couple weeks later, she is dating someone else. I would love to have her back but all i can do is wait. Should i apologize to her for how i handled the breakup? I personally thought I handled everything just fine, but I believe she thinks otherwise. She is acting cold towards me, acts like she absolutely hates me even though I didn't do anything wrong to her. So is it even worth apologizing to her? Is it going to benefit me at all? cause i know that women like to hear from us that they were right and we were wrong lol. If i did apologize, it would be something like this: You must of felt angry by how i reacted after the breakup. I apologize, it was my fault. I was confused and didnt know what to do. It was painful for me realizing that i had lost someone very special and irreplaceable like you. I know there are no words that can make up for how i acted. While I hope you can forgive me, I do not and can not expect it. I am truly sorry. ya ya ya, it may seem cheesy. But i want to keep the peace between us and possibly have a chance of going out with her again down the road if her rebound doesnt work out. They are already fighting with each other. whats your opinion? Link to post Share on other sites
Rorschach64 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Hey man, you said you believed you handled the break up well enough, right? So why are you apologizing? You are only human anyway, you aren't perfect, and if she can't see that then it is your gain and her loss. You do know that she probably dumped you for this other guy right? I don't think you even WANT to date some girl that tossed you aside for another, clearly she didn't think too highly of you. Sorry if that stings but it is the cold harsh truth Link to post Share on other sites
Berlington Bob Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 First, wait a month. It will let her cool off and it will let you collect your thoughts and not act on your "panicky" feeling. It gives her time to miss you and people almost always tend to forget about the bad times they had after a while and focus on the good times. I wouldn't apologize to her unless you were so mad you killed her cat or something. It will make you look weak and once she ends things with the rebound she will most likely try to get you back. My ex is acting mad to me too... and she cheated on me and basically told me she didn't want to be exclusive with me anymore after a 5 1/2 year relationship. (we were engaged and living together)... So you see its not that you did anything wrong, they feel guilty and bad about it and feeling like you deserved it makes them better able to cope with the guilt. I know you think that saying your sorry would be a good idea and you're probably grasping at straws trying to think of a way to get her back... But you have no control over it. Just keep being the guy she knows and when its over between them she will probably call YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrickhsalas Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I think both of you have an misunderstanding ..Both of you must have an serious conversation to each other so that you will know in what part you or she have done something problem...then settle it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gingerpounder Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 First, wait a month. It will let her cool off and it will let you collect your thoughts and not act on your "panicky" feeling. It gives her time to miss you and people almost always tend to forget about the bad times they had after a while and focus on the good times. Its almost been a month already for her new relationship. I believe I am better than this guy, even her own friends told her that she made a mistake by breaking up with me, that she will regret it later on. But anyways, thanks for your opinion. I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gingerpounder Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 I think both of you have an misunderstanding ..Both of you must have an serious conversation to each other so that you will know in what part you or she have done something problem...then settle it.. I wish I could have a conversation with her about this. But she isn't the talkative type about that kind of stuff. Never was, never will be. Link to post Share on other sites
Rorschach64 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 You have exhausted all of your means to salvage your now deceased relationship, correct me if I am wrong on that. Now ask yourself what can you do other than walk away, go NC/LC, and heal? Again, why would you wanna get with a girl that thought you weren't worth fighting for so she decided to so casually cash you in for another model of boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gingerpounder Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 You have exhausted all of your means to salvage your now deceased relationship, correct me if I am wrong on that. Now ask yourself what can you do other than walk away, go NC/LC, and heal? Again, why would you wanna get with a girl that thought you weren't worth fighting for so she decided to so casually cash you in for another model of boyfriend? yeah, i believe there is absolutely no chance anymore. She just acts cold towards me now. I dont understand what I did wrong but whatever, its her loss. Im sure she will regret it later on down the road. I know I can do better than her. On the bright side, I learned a lot from this since this was my first true relationship. Im only in grade 11, and atleast now I know how to handle future situations like this. Thank you for your advice, it helped. Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 yeah, i believe there is absolutely no chance anymore. She just acts cold towards me now. I dont understand what I did wrong but whatever, its her loss. Im sure she will regret it later on down the road. I know I can do better than her. On the bright side, I learned a lot from this since this was my first true relationship. Im only in grade 11, and atleast now I know how to handle future situations like this. Thank you for your advice, it helped. You need to step away from her. Apologizing makes no sense if you honestly feel you didn't do anything wrong... it merely shows you are a push over (and I am not trying to be mean, but it is how she will view you). Pull away from her and the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
nathanjbrown1 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I think both of you have an misunderstanding ..Both of you must have an serious conversation to each other so that you will know in what part you or she have done something problem...then settle it.. You're right fredrickhsalas.....serious conversation is the solution for that..And then you know what gingerpounder there's no need to apologize if you think that you didn't do something wrong.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gingerpounder Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 After from the advice you guys gave me, im definitely not going to apologize. Someday ill be the one receiving the apology from her. Thanks everyone for their input! I appreciate the advice, if theres anything else I should know, im listening. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 if you didn't do anything wrong then why on Earth should you apologize? When someone dumps you they waive any right to ever hear from you again unless it is to make arraingements for child custody etc. When she dumped you, she relieved you of any obligation to her any way shape or form. Your desire to apologize is you hoping that she will take you back for some kind of percieved wrongdoing that you did. But if you didn't do anything wrong then she didn't dump you due to any wrongdoing, she just simply doesn't want to see you anymore or she wants to go out with this other person. Either way you are scot-free, you would just be wasting your time and energy. Use that time and energy to move on and do something that you enjoy and will be benificial to your life. Link to post Share on other sites
joseph17 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 She is probably acting mean towards you because her new BF is always around. People play the part when with friends or partners. I would continue working on yourself and not worry about her.An apology would do nothing but waste of air. She broke up with you and moved on so do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gingerpounder Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 thanks everyone! but it seems like everyday, theres more drama that ensues. My ex's friend told me that she was telling everyone about my penis? i dont know what shes trying to accomplish by doing this. sounds like a stunt to get attention. She's just pissing me off more and more everyday... Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 thanks everyone! but it seems like everyday, theres more drama that ensues. My ex's friend told me that she was telling everyone about my penis? i dont know what shes trying to accomplish by doing this. sounds like a stunt to get attention. She's just pissing me off more and more everyday... Stand tall. She is very immature, do not stoop to her level. Link to post Share on other sites
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