ladybug229 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 My bf broke up with me about 2 months ago. The day of the break-up was bad, as I harassed him but then I gave up and we haven't spoken since. The most contact we've had is that I've liked one or two of his statuses on facebook, and that's not even contact. Recently, I ran into him in public... we were the only ones walking down the road, and we were walking towards each other. I looked at him because I was going to smile and say hi or something, but he didn't even look at me. He looked straight forward as if I didn't exist. My question is, why is he not talking to me or even looking at me? I just want to be friends with him but seriously, what is his deal? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Considering he broke up with you because he said he didn't love you and he now has a new girlfriend - Forget him! You shouldn't be begging him for acknowledgement of any kind. Move on to another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My bf broke up with me about 2 months ago. The day of the break-up was bad, as I harassed him but then I gave up and we haven't spoken since. The most contact we've had is that I've liked one or two of his statuses on facebook, and that's not even contact. Recently, I ran into him in public... we were the only ones walking down the road, and we were walking towards each other. I looked at him because I was going to smile and say hi or something, but he didn't even look at me. He looked straight forward as if I didn't exist. My question is, why is he not talking to me or even looking at me? I just want to be friends with him but seriously, what is his deal? It takes a long time to be real friends after a breakup,,you CAN'T just go from a b/f,, g/f relationship the day after a breakup,,, to many emotions still involved.And yes any response from you on Facebook IS CONTACT!! He didn't look at you because your now his ex.,,he could feel some guilt and/or he just doesn't want to talk to you because in his mind it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Considering he broke up with you because he said he didn't love you and he now has a new girlfriend - Forget him! You shouldn't be begging him for acknowledgement of any kind. Move on to another guy. I just want to be friends with him though because he honestly is really sweet and he helped me through so many problems. I am seeing another guy, it's not like I want my ex back, I just want to be friends. I'm guessing it might take a while to be friends? Or is he just acting like this for a reason and there's no chance of us ever being friends? Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I just want to be friends with him though because he honestly is really sweet and he helped me through so many problems. I am seeing another guy, it's not like I want my ex back, I just want to be friends. I'm guessing it might take a while to be friends? Or is he just acting like this for a reason and there's no chance of us ever being friends? Give it time to be friends,,, he may be thinking since the breakup is fresh you will be asking to many questions,, bugging him,, getting upset in front of him etc. and he just doesn't want to deal with it at this time. Now,, you mention your already seeing another guy?? Hummm, are you trying to make him jealous?,, is this other guy a rebound? If your really SERIOUS about being friends again,,,, just give it TIME. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Give it time to be friends,,, he may be thinking since the breakup is fresh you will be asking to many questions,, bugging him,, getting upset in front of him etc. and he just doesn't want to deal with it at this time. Now,, you mention your already seeing another guy?? Hummm, are you trying to make him jealous?,, is this other guy a rebound? If your really SERIOUS about being friends again,,,, just give it TIME. Alright, so I'll give it time because that's all I can do. And about this other guy, my ex doesn't even know about him, so it's not like I'm trying to make him jealous. I do have feelings for the guy I've been seeing, and I like to think that he's not a rebound, but I find myself comparing him to my ex constantly.... and I sometimes even get a little upset thinking about my ex and his new girl because he seems SO much happier with her than he did with me, so I know I have a few lingering feelings for my ex, but I honestly do care deeply for this new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Alright, so I'll give it time because that's all I can do. And about this other guy, my ex doesn't even know about him, so it's not like I'm trying to make him jealous. I do have feelings for the guy I've been seeing, and I like to think that he's not a rebound, but I find myself comparing him to my ex constantly.... and I sometimes even get a little upset thinking about my ex and his new girl because he seems SO much happier with her than he did with me, so I know I have a few lingering feelings for my ex, but I honestly do care deeply for this new guy. It's normal to compare a new person to your ex.,,, I still do. I believe your not over your ex. and that's bad news for for the new guy, believe me I found that out the hard way and am still dealing with it.Sounds all to familiar!! Go very SLOW in this new relationship,, it's not fair for him if your still obsessed with your ex and it sounds like you are.Your using him to mask your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 It's normal to compare a new person to your ex.,,, I still do. I believe your not over your ex. and that's bad news for for the new guy, believe me I found that out the hard way and am still dealing with it.Sounds all to familiar!! Go very SLOW in this new relationship,, it's not fair for him if your still obsessed with your ex and it sounds like you are.Your using him to mask your pain. Yea, it will probably take quite some time for me to fully move on from my ex because I was most in love with him out of all the relationships I've had in my lifetime. But thanks for your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 It sounds like he seriously doesn't deserve you as a friend at all. I'm at a loss how anyone is able to be friends with an ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 It sounds like he seriously doesn't deserve you as a friend at all. I'm at a loss how anyone is able to be friends with an ex. Well he is genuinely an amazing person, and we get along well, and it's just fun to be around him. Plus, we were friends before we were together, and I miss that. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Well he is genuinely an amazing person, and we get along well, and it's just fun to be around him. Plus, we were friends before we were together, and I miss that. My ex g/f and I were friends many,,, many years ago before we reconnected and I miss not only losing my g/f,, but losing a friend,,,and a friend from many years ago. If you continue this new relationship I promise you he won't like you and your ex. "being friends" Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Well he is genuinely an amazing person, and we get along well, and it's just fun to be around him. Plus, we were friends before we were together, and I miss that. You should cease putting this ex on a pedestal. Look, This is what this "amazing person" did for you: He saw you, knew it was you, then walked...right...past...YOU. You need to treat yourself with more self worth than this. You are mentally begging to stay close to him at all costs and that is not healthy for you at all. It is very nice of you to acknowledge his existence but he is not going to acknowledge yours? How is this friendship and why do you desperately want a person who does this to someone they were so close to? You teach others how to treat you. Treat YOURSELF like your own best friend because you will have you until the end of time. Right now, you are asking for someone who doesn't care about you; whether right now or ever again, to be your friend. Your ex just showed you who he is...look closely to what he he has to "say." Link to post Share on other sites
barriob Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 complete;y agrre with theabove response. He doesnt appreciate you or care. What he does is not love at all, trust me. Move on and know that you deserve better. Spend your time on someone who is well worth it. I am going through the same, but i have been doing SO better since i realized i dont deserve that at all. Stand up for yourself and HE will no longer matter to you. He is not nice and forget about the jerk Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hey. I think you should move on and not care anymore. He broke up with you! He does not want to be with you. However, maybe im playing devils advocate here but unless I missed something I do not think he is necessarily a bad person for not talking to you. Could it be that he wants to be in NC because he needs to heal and wants to give you space to heal also? I mean seriously be glad he did not acknowledge you he might be doing you a favor. The bottom line is this person does not want to be with you so you should not seek any recognition or validation from him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I just want to be friends with him though because he honestly is really sweet and he helped me through so many problems. I am seeing another guy, it's not like I want my ex back, I just want to be friends. I'm guessing it might take a while to be friends? Or is he just acting like this for a reason and there's no chance of us ever being friends? The reason you can't be friends with him now is because you still have very strong feelings for him. You are comparing the guy you are presently dating to him and I don't think you could handle being around him and his new gf. More than likely there is some jealousy there. Until you reach the point where you can be around him and his gf and not feel longing and regret you can't be friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 I've been doing my best to try and move on, but it's just really hard and I'm sure you all know that. I sometimes still feel attached to him, and the fact that he doesn't want me in his life anymore is hard to accept. And plus, today I found out that he'll be working in the same building as me starting Wednesday, and it's going to be hard to avoid seeing him several times a day which is only going to make moving on completely that much harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 This is really not a good time to being friends. You know even if you ask him to be friends, and he is not over you, then you might give him a false hope of getting back together. This is going to hurt him more. My ex girlfriend also did the same to me when she broke up with me. When I saw her I was did said hi but she just ignored. However I contact her on email after few weeks from then and chated with her. She said a lot of things to me, why I was not a good bf, why she left me and all. Looked we had a lot of misunderstanding between us. We talked for a long time, things got better but she already had a new boyfriend by then. It took time but I moved on too. Move on, don't hurt him more. He's the one that broke up with me, there's no way in hell that we wants to get back together, and apparently he doesn't even want to be friends...for the moment anyway. Maybe we'll be friends in the future, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 He's the one that broke up with me, there's no way in hell that we wants to get back together, and apparently he doesn't even want to be friends...for the moment anyway. Maybe we'll be friends in the future, I don't know. Why are you trying to be friends with him when he wants nothing to do with you? He won't even speak to you on the street! Let it go. If you want to get your respect back from this guy, go out of your way to avoid seeing him when he comes to your job to work. He is expecting that you will make yourself available to him on the chance that he will throw you some crumbs. Don't do it. You have a new bf, keep your heart with him and your mind on your work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ladybug229 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 Why are you trying to be friends with him when he wants nothing to do with you? He won't even speak to you on the street! Let it go. If you want to get your respect back from this guy, go out of your way to avoid seeing him when he comes to your job to work. He is expecting that you will make yourself available to him on the chance that he will throw you some crumbs. Don't do it. You have a new bf, keep your heart with him and your mind on your work. Ok, that sounds like good advice. I've been trying to rid my life of him instead of attempting to be friends with him, so I can put all of my focus on my new bf. And so far, it's working quite well Link to post Share on other sites
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