xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Im broken hearted, can anyone please offer words of advice?please!? I found out that my boyfriend of four years was cheating for 2 months with another girl, when I found out I stayed with him because I love him that much. He broke it off with her when I found out and a week later he dumps me for her and goes back to her.Hes moved in with her now. He left me for her two weeks ago.yesterday he messaged me through a friend saying he loves me,really misses me and I was his world, and he only ended it because he thought Id never get over him cheating. Then an hour later sent a message saying hes sorry but he fell in love with her and just wants to be happy and knows Il find someone else and be happy. He also asked for his clothes back,but he knows I havent got any clothes of his. The girl he lfet me for didnt know about me at the time but then found out when I told her.She knows hes a cheat and many other things,does anyone think it will last between them? I messaged her telling her he contacted me as I am furiouse and heartbroken that he claims to LOVE her, he knows what that will do to me telling me that! he has moved into hers.She knows hes a sponger, and a cheat. Seems so stupid Id want him still but I love him beyond words,miss him so much and want him back.Does anyone think considering theyve only known each other for not quite 3 months, that he does actually LOVE her? many thanks xx Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 *BOYNG* That's the sound of a rebound. It'll never last with her, take it from me. I just found out my ex recently got dumped by the guy she went to after me. You can't get our of a serious relationship for that length of time and jump straight into another one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 He has been seeing her for 2 months behind my back though and a couple of weeks out in the open, he claims to love her and surely he must do to have left me for her..to throw away four years he must care about her?dont get it I moved heaven and earth for him xx Link to post Share on other sites
Misar7 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Well I know how you feel..only I was with my ex for 8 yrs!! Oh and now she is pregnant she got pregnant a week in to dating!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 That will be the next thing..if it hasnt happened already ( how did u cope? do u ever really get over it? x Link to post Share on other sites
Misar7 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 The fact that I lost a few pregnancies with him and that we were trying again, by his wish to have a baby when he left..one week later he is with her now she is pregnant, this was few weeks ago I found out..I am not coping..I have not eaten or slept I am a mess and depressed! What makes it all worse is she is 11 yrs younger than me a party girl and his sister and my brother are married, so I can not even fully escape the situation! I am sorry I know how you feel..it is HORRIBLE!! I am doing all I can to keep going everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 It happened to me too (except mine went back to his ex before me). They are so "in love" right now that I realized they were seeing each other for who knows how long, at least a month. I think he- and your ex sounds like it also- does feel bad. But there is no "easy" way to hurt someone that you have been with that long. He let you down and maybe will never feel he can live up to the image you had of him before he was a cheater- and guess what? You won't. Maybe in time he will come back around but he needs to get this relationship out of his system. It probably won't last, but you just have to move on while it plays out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 It is terrible that you have to have some kind of connection with him, truely horrible!! and it is sickening that she is now pregnant too! what a pig he must be. Your beaut too, dont get these men just dont get it, how long ago did he leave? x Link to post Share on other sites
Author xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 It happened to me too (except mine went back to his ex before me). They are so "in love" right now that I realized they were seeing each other for who knows how long, at least a month. I think he- and your ex sounds like it also- does feel bad. But there is no "easy" way to hurt someone that you have been with that long. He let you down and maybe will never feel he can live up to the image you had of him before he was a cheater- and guess what? You won't. Maybe in time he will come back around but he needs to get this relationship out of his system. It probably won't last, but you just have to move on while it plays out. I cant seem to cut off the single last window of contact, which is fbook because I cant let him go ( and I know I need to in order to move on :'(( I dont know what to do feel like I cant go on anymore im truely devastated Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm not the authority on Facebook! I should have defriended mine and I didn't (guilty:o). But I hid his feed and have been doing very good not looking at it. I don't even want to know what he's up to because while I DO miss him, I'm angry at him too and really don't want to read about how happy he is (in time, I will be curious). But if you're not at that point then cut it, he knows where to find you. As time goes on, I am starting to see him and our relationship for what it really was (not as great as I thought when I was in it!) and just feel I deserve better. That's not to say I won't miss him like crazy tomorrow, but as you start to see the light you realize that you are still sad, but he may not be the answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Misar7 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 It is terrible that you have to have some kind of connection with him, truely horrible!! and it is sickening that she is now pregnant too! what a pig he must be. Your beaut too, dont get these men just dont get it, how long ago did he leave? x Yea its bad cause also on FB I have his family his sister and I are close..and his mom and his biological mom and his brothers and even his friends..and this girl he knocked up has added them all to her FB and is commenting to them all throwing herself right in! They been together 5 weeks! I just am ill over it! He acts as if I am dead to him. After 8 yrs and the promises he made and all the pregnancy problems I had he knows this is tearing me completely apart! Also took our dog who I love and miss dearly! This girl is very young and has tatoos and piercings a pothead and a drunk. Complete opposite of me in every way possible! He met her at the gas station where she works near his job. I feel bad for you and I do not know what to tell you, cause I am trying to figure out what to do myself. I am going to seek therapy, I need to talk to someone. Maybe that could help you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Yea its bad cause also on FB I have his family his sister and I are close..and his mom and his biological mom and his brothers and even his friends..and this girl he knocked up has added them all to her FB and is commenting to them all throwing herself right in! They been together 5 weeks! I just am ill over it! He acts as if I am dead to him. After 8 yrs and the promises he made and all the pregnancy problems I had he knows this is tearing me completely apart! Also took our dog who I love and miss dearly! This girl is very young and has tatoos and piercings a pothead and a drunk. Complete opposite of me in every way possible! He met her at the gas station where she works near his job. I feel bad for you and I do not know what to tell you, cause I am trying to figure out what to do myself. I am going to seek therapy, I need to talk to someone. Maybe that could help you too. The first thing that springs to mind when you describe the other girl is how can he chuck u for someone like that, she sounds as though she has no class whatsoever! and another thing..maybe he knows hes not good enough for you and feels she is a safer bet or something because shes a minger?! the girl mine left me for has a real horse face, I know mine is better..weird isnt it. Shes prob showing him only what he wants to see too,so hes under the illusion shes amazing when flaws start to show later on. Yeh I defo need some help,therapy , anything to get me out of this hole ( x Link to post Share on other sites
Author xImpyx Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 and I really sympathise with you about your dog, I love mine to bits too, how bloody cruel of him to take your dog aswell! after ripping your life apart, extremely heartless! have you asked for your pet back?bloody take it I say x Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedT Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 rebound for sure, but hey if he doesnt want to be with you, let him walk away. dont make the mistake so many of us did by begging and pleading. you're worth more than that. never beg someone to stay in your life, because someone better is begging to come into it, you just dont know it yet! Link to post Share on other sites
lboogie8890 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I am really sorry. I know how it feels. 14 months ago, i found out my ex fiance was hooking up with some random girl. He knew her a month, and got her pregnant. We are cross country(military), so I didn't really know what was going on. She turned out to be this girl he just met, and who had spoken to me. She totally knew about me, our engagement and even had said she would respect me by leaving my ex fiance alone. Sure enough, as soon as I was home from out last visit the girl was in his bed. WHen i got home, he acted like i was the devil. The last time i spoke to him was in july 10. He asked me if I wanted him home...two days later, i see on face book that she is posting about a baby. I remember my heart stopping, t hinking this is all a joke. Two sundays later, i read on facebook that his sister was saying congrats to them on her brother's wedding day. I lost it. Up until a month or two ago, i was so depressed. I think it took me a month or two to get out of bed, and then I started to go back to school (for masters) and work. I cried everyday. What started to stop it was just time, and hearind that he was not happy. I hear he was cheating on her two weeks after he married her and was telling people he was not happy. I think it is karma that he recently got out of the military, works at a ****ty sales job while the economy sucks, is stuck in a place he hates, and now is already having another baby with a woman he met 15 months ago. Priceless. It sucks to marry for a baby, and ruin our happy relationship. But you know, looking back, i realize he was not happy in general. Yes, we did have a happy relationship for 2 years,but that was when he was stable. but once he moved, he acted as if i ****ed him over, and couldn't keep his dick in his pants. i now look back and realize how many women he went through once he went to the east coast. I did follow him for a while and visisted often, but was not getting married until we did it in our faith with 6 months of engagement-he wanted to just run off. well, he did run off, with his wife, and before that, a bar tender he moved in with only after 2 weeks of our first break up, oh and some young girl he met while recruting....yes, he came back all the time, but i was worth all his time. it is funny, my ex really regrets it now, and so will yours. I know you will cry, but keep pushing on. they always come back. believe me, and by then, you probably won't want him. Link to post Share on other sites
lboogie8890 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Oh, and the dog thing....my ex took the dog i loved to the pound...i drove all the way back for her. best thing i ever did! Just so you know, gf, that girl is gonna get worse. what goes around, comes around. relationships borne of affairs usually don't last...lol look at my ex-he was already cheating with a girl only two weeks after marriage....lol sucks to be her! and your ex will learn Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 He told you that he loves this girl after that short of time together. I agree, it won't last. What you need to do is some serious soul searching about what you want and what you might do in case he wants to come back to you. At first you want him back soooooo bad but as time goes on and you reflect on the situation you may feel different? I would recommend talking to a professional (shrink) to help you thru this and if he does come back you both need counceling. I'm going thru a rough time myself, my g/f left me for her ex b/f so I do understand your pain. I've seeked help and it does help ALOT! Good luck, keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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