DazyDaisy Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 We broke up in good terms. I brought it up; he agreed it was the best for us. It was rather painful to have that conversation for both of us it seemed. We decided we wouldn’t be friends in the mean time because we both needed time to heal. We knew we would need time to get in the friend-zone so we did this kind of unwritten NC. A few weeks passed, and while I was cleaning my apartment, I came across some of his clothing. I texted him asking if he’d like me to drop it off by his house, he replied, “Burn it or toss it out if you want.” I was shocked by his reply because I thought we had ended in good terms, and that’s just not what one of his “good terms” answers would be. He’s usually very polite and rather introverted; it just wasn’t like him. I refrained from overanalyzing or being the same way he was being so I just answered, “Ok hope all is well with you”, to which he replied “Yup”. I thought it was an awkward conversation but I let it go. That was about 4 months ago. His birthday is tomorrow and part of me wants to text him and wish him a happy birthday. The other part of me knows that I would get the cold answers again. Even though he agreed to break up, it seems as if he holds some resentment and it reflects on the things he’s been doing (blocked me on FB, the weird text, avoids the places we’d frequent together). Should I even bother? Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 He obviously does not want to be friends with you. Just leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 We broke up in good terms. I brought it up; he agreed it was the best for us. It was rather painful to have that conversation for both of us it seemed. We decided we wouldn’t be friends in the mean time because we both needed time to heal. We knew we would need time to get in the friend-zone so we did this kind of unwritten NC. A few weeks passed, and while I was cleaning my apartment, I came across some of his clothing. I texted him asking if he’d like me to drop it off by his house, he replied, “Burn it or toss it out if you want.” I was shocked by his reply because I thought we had ended in good terms, and that’s just not what one of his “good terms” answers would be. He’s usually very polite and rather introverted; it just wasn’t like him. I refrained from overanalyzing or being the same way he was being so I just answered, “Ok hope all is well with you”, to which he replied “Yup”. I thought it was an awkward conversation but I let it go. That was about 4 months ago. His birthday is tomorrow and part of me wants to text him and wish him a happy birthday. The other part of me knows that I would get the cold answers again. Even though he agreed to break up, it seems as if he holds some resentment and it reflects on the things he’s been doing (blocked me on FB, the weird text, avoids the places we’d frequent together). Should I even bother? Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Texting your ex on their birthday is always a mistake. Why? 1. Because if they just don't give a crap about you or are apathetic, they won't bother replying which will only cause you grief. 2. And even if they do reply it will be much less than what you were hoping for So in essence it's a lose-lose situation for you. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Love is about taking chances no matter what could happen. What does "love" have to do with this situation? He is an EX. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucy2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I've got this to go through, its my ex's birthday in a few weeks and I'm already dreading what I'll do. Ask yourself if it was your birthday would he send a text/card? I'm guessing probably no, so I wouldn't bother acknowledging his day. I know it will be hard though - I sympathise x Link to post Share on other sites
Author DazyDaisy Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 He obviously does not want to be friends with you. Just leave him alone. I hate to admit it but I think I'm better off with this answer. I'd rather just not put myself through the humiliating situation of what his answers could be. His reactions were rather childish and will probably continue the same way. Thanks to everyone who replied. Link to post Share on other sites
batsheba Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 let the birthday go without a word. friendship can be attained later. as for now, his actions do not welcome friendship obviously. guard your heart. he will have fun on his birthday, greeting or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DazyDaisy Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 let the birthday go without a word. friendship can be attained later. as for now, his actions do not welcome friendship obviously. guard your heart. he will have fun on his birthday, greeting or not. You're absolutely right. He always has fun with or without me. His birthday is today so after today there's no going back. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Hopefully you do choose not to call. Are you looking for a "positive" response such as "Thank You! How are you?" OR "Hey my party is at 6pm, come on over!"? If so, then you would be setting yourself up for another setback. I came on this site a year and a half back and since then, my ex married the person he left me for BUT he STILL texts and calls leaving little messages asking me how I am and if we can meet to "catch up" as late as Sunday night! And you know what? I NEVER called him for his past birthdays, Christmases, New Year's...nothing! I have practiced NC faithfully on my part as I never pick up the phone or have responded to any of his texts. The point is, you don't have to do one single thing. If an ex has proven to you that they have no interest in continuing a relationship then it is pertinent to your health, well-being, and piece of mind to LET GO! Love yourself. You should always believe that you are a #1 choice, not an option or a backup plan. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DazyDaisy Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Hopefully you do choose not to call. Are you looking for a "positive" response such as "Thank You! How are you?" OR "Hey my party is at 6pm, come on over!"? If so, then you would be setting yourself up for another setback. I came on this site a year and a half back and since then, my ex married the person he left me for BUT he STILL texts and calls leaving little messages asking me how I am and if we can meet to "catch up" as late as Sunday night! And you know what? I NEVER called him for his past birthdays, Christmases, New Year's...nothing! I have practiced NC faithfully on my part as I never pick up the phone or have responded to any of his texts. The point is, you don't have to do one single thing. If an ex has proven to you that they have no interest in continuing a relationship then it is pertinent to your health, well-being, and piece of mind to LET GO! Love yourself. You should always believe that you are a #1 choice, not an option or a backup plan. I don't know what I was expecting to be honest. I wish I just wouldn't expect anything from him. You're absolutely right, though. I don't really care what he does or says to me. Well, I almost don't anymore. I just wanted to know how he would feel about me not wishing him a happy birthday. I was just hoping that it wouldn't be more hatred. I loved that last part. I am no one's second option. Should never be. Link to post Share on other sites
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