emmymonster Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Greetings to all. First thought of using a forum for this kinda thing. Since my breakup I have been seeing a counsellor to help me through it all, and am now on anxiety meds cos I don't sleep and am getting so behind in my studies etc. But neither of those seem to be offering any really useful advice. I dont like to burden people and my best friend has never been in a relationship so will be no help on the matter anyway so.. I come to the vast knowledges of the interweb for guidance =) My partner of 18 months (my first real, true love) ended things about 7 weeks ago now (2 days after making a big show for the 18 month mark btw). I was a complete mess and thought I was making progress, slowly, but progress nonetheless. I have read countless articles on things to do after breaking up: - cut contact, let it settle before you say anything, worry about yourself and try and figure and work through your own feelings, try to get back into a routine as quick as possible is the most practical advice so far. Anyway! Last weekend (not this one just been) I finally facebooked the ex (started off in an angry kinda thing) but it was actually really productive, talked through alot of things and I finally felt like, right, I think I have the closure I need to really start to move on. So, since then, I've been feeling so much better, (by no means happy, but better). Except now, this week, I am back feeling absolutely miserable, only managing a couple hours on campus before I'm having to leave fighting back the tears and spending the rest of the day in bed wanting to die. I fear I might be headed into depression. I was doing so well and now to have this huge setback is heartbreaking. I feel like I'm never going to make any progress and wonder if the pain will ever stop. Has anyone else experience this phenomenon. Does it get better on its own before too long or should I maybe seek chemical help? Emmymonster Link to post Share on other sites
Kodo Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 If you're on campus, you have access to free counselling services no doubt? Use it. Chances are you ARE depressed but not the medical/chemical/ill depressed that people often think of. You can be legimiately depressed from recent experiences. I'm not expert though. That's just from my own personal experience. I was told I was experiencing reactive depression. It means recent events are causing me emotional and mental trauma, but I don't need any medication etc to get me back on track. Word of advice though, don't go to a counsellor expecting answers to fix your problem. Find answers to get you out of it. They can't reunite you with your ex or make sense of your ex's break up etc. They can only show you how to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
VJohnson32 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 You have been with him for over year. Don't expect things to get better in several weeks. You have been grieving almost 2 months. It will take time but do not force or speed the process by taking medications. Anxiety and depression are natural feelings with rejection and abandonment. Cut all contact with him and concentrate on yourself and what makes you happy even for just an hour a day. I guarantee in the next 2 months you will be in a completely different state of mind, you will still have your sad days but they will get rare until are no longer present. Keep your head up and remember EVERYBODY has been through all this pain and misery and we all have survived. Link to post Share on other sites
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