mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 is it possible to leave a relationship of 2 years, hook up with someone else with in 5 days and it not be a rebound Link to post Share on other sites
Desensitized Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 is it possible to leave a relationship of 2 years, hook up with someone else with in 5 days and it not be a rebound Yes. It could be that the person was already developing feelings for this other person while they were in their prior relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 well the situation is we split on the monday, she bumped into a family member of an ex on the wednesday who asked for her number, not having seen him for 7 years, and there dating on the friday Link to post Share on other sites
Kodo Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 well the situation is we split on the monday, she bumped into a family member of an ex on the wednesday who asked for her number, not having seen him for 7 years, and there dating on the friday Sounds like a quick fix to me. Link to post Share on other sites
stephmichelle Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Sounds like a rebound relationship to me...some people just can't stand being alone :-/ Link to post Share on other sites
Kodo Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 And in addition to that, who can just pack up a relationship and move on so quickly? Who can sincerely do that?! So far I've come up with two answers: -Someone ****ed in the head -Someone who never sincerely loved you Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) thats what i cant work out, she texta me, emails me, telling me we were great, how she will miss me, how great we were together, but when i told her lets try to work at this, she tells me go cant go back you have tp move on and go fwd, sorry but jumping into bed with your ex of 7 ears ago ?? isnt that going back plus when she came over to drop off what stuff she had of mine she was crying trying to kiss me, etc but then the next day shes back to 'our lives are now on diferent paths you will always be in my heart , love you always, etc etc screwing with my head ! even her best mate of 20years had no idea, oh by the way we split up 3 weeks ago Edited May 18, 2011 by mickeyp adding text Link to post Share on other sites
stephmichelle Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I saw my ex on a Saturday, spent the night with him - he told me he loved me, rubbed my feet, held onto me all night, acted SO SO sweet - then that Monday he had another girl in his bed. That next week, they were in a relationship. We were together 3 years and had been broken up 2 months, but still talked on the phone and saw each other a couple times - I thought we were on our way to getting back together. They're now in Florida together on the trip we had planned out for US. So yea, I know how crappy it feels That makes me think if I was so easy to replace, he must not have loved me that much to begin with. I have NO IDEA how people can move on so fast. The first month we broke up, I had guys asking me out to dinner, and I couldn't even imagine going on a date let alone BEING with someone so soon. I'm still not ready to date! Some people just seriously have no hearts. I would go NC as soon as possible. Don't let her string you along - I did that with my ex and it just hurt me even more in the long run I wish I would've started NC way before I actually did, but I was so scared to let go. It really does help you start to heal though... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yeah just about to go NC she has text me again, this time saying maybe we werent to be, i will hold you in my heart always, and im sure we will cross paths again one day. and im an amazing person, beautiful, and when she saw me she thought i was the hotest thing ever. and she will miss the amazing love making we did! best thing is im off to Vegas and Seattle in then LA in 2 weeks with work, they asked me 3 days ago so i jumped at the chance so that should get her wondering, if not will clear my mind. for me its hit me very hard, and i wouldnt even consider trying with anybody else for a few months, not fare on me or them, couldnt imagine taking that kind of baggage to a new relationship. i wonder if the new/old guy has any idea she was at mine hugging and kissing me, and crying??? Link to post Share on other sites
stephmichelle Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 That's the best thing to do - KEEP BUSY! I'm sure you'll have a blast being able to travel and get away for a while. He might not even care if he knew she was hugging/kissing you. I called that girl up when I found out about her staying with him Monday and demanded the truth (he kept denying it) and she pretty much lied to me to - but I told her we had slept together that Saturday night and seeing as to how they're together now, I don't think she really cared. If it had been me, I would've stopped talking to him right then! It just shows what type of people they both are though. My ex said all of that stuff too right after we broke up - I was so great, he loved me, maybe in a couple months or a year we'll be together again, blah blah blah - well, then why don't you want to be with me if I'm all those things?! But then I would say that and he would have a whole list of my bad qualities - he kept contradicting himself. I think the dumper just tells the dumpee what they want to hear, to soften it up a little and not look like the actual jerk they really are and to feel less bad because they think they were being nice about it. I wish I had more advice to offer - but I'm pretty much in the same boat with the whole ex being in a rebound thing. You're not alone though and it really does suck. This is pretty much the worse it can get though - you're ex is with someone else, the thing we want most NOT to happen. It can only get better from here. But yes, go NC as soon as you can. It really does make it easier. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Sure, it'll probably turn out to be an in-between relationship. But who knows? They might last. Who cares? I don't. You do, which is understandable, but it's not necessarily in your best interests. Go and get laid, or have a haircut and a wet shave, get a massage, a few beers with your mates, hit the gym, smoke crack if that's your thing. She's doing what she thinks will make her happy - you can do the same, if you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 very wise words, after all just been for dinner with a good friend and she agrees with one of the posts, she reckons that my ex really does love me but is F****D in the head, 10 mins before we had the fight that broke us up my ex was telling her how much she loved me, 'i stole her heart when we met' blah blah blah !! WASNT THAT GOOD IF SHE CAN MOVE ON 5 DAYS LATER Link to post Share on other sites
Kodo Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 very wise words, after all just been for dinner with a good friend and she agrees with one of the posts, she reckons that my ex really does love me but is F****D in the head, 10 mins before we had the fight that broke us up my ex was telling her how much she loved me, 'i stole her heart when we met' blah blah blah !! WASNT THAT GOOD IF SHE CAN MOVE ON 5 DAYS LATER Same deal here. Ex told me she loved me less than 12 hours before she left me (the morning after). Haven't heard a word in 3 weeks. Didn't even want an item that was dear to her that she left at mine. Kisses guys days later. Never contacts me again. ****ed. In. The. Head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 mines contacting me all the time, thanks for everything, miss your body, miss the fun, miss this miss that!, but we are now on different paths! will love you always and you will be in my dreams, and i know we will meet again one day, until then you will be forever in my thoughts. obviously not! othewise she would still be here. Link to post Share on other sites
plasma Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 mines contacting me all the time, thanks for everything, miss your body, miss the fun, miss this miss that!, but we are now on different paths! will love you always and you will be in my dreams, and i know we will meet again one day, until then you will be forever in my thoughts. obviously not! othewise she would still be here. this is it ^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 change your phone number Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 God I'm so glad you created this thread. I'm in the same damn boat, after 2 years of love, he moves on in a month, probably less, I will never know. He's messed up in the head, I am so heart broken. Especially when it made me doubt the love he had for me when we were together, I kept saying, what kind of person, what kind of love would lead to a quick fix with another? Maybe he never loved me. I came to the conclusion, and I hate the physical images in my mind, that he did and DOES love me. These week past partners that we had cant stand the pain, cant stand being alone with their thoughts and feelings, dont want to face the problem, dont want to mourn, they want to "feel better and happy", I dont believe in instant gratification, I think its a huge sign of weakness and bad character. They did not replace us, they replaced the pain, for a temporary time. Their time will come and we will be better off because we dealt with it and did our time. I try to make myself feel better and remind myself how messed up he is and how he's pretty much fallen off a cliff and gone crazy with erratic behavior and angry comments, I was one of the few good things in his life and he isnt coping well. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he truly is happy, but only time will tell. I have to focus on my recovery, I loved him truly. Karma is a bitch...and their time will come. I hate the fact that he is doing this because I know love doesnt disappear, despite all his short comings, I still have feelings and love the son of a bitch but what can I do..... except come here and vent and distract myself, talk to friends and family, work on myself, and try to stay busy...and pray for strength everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I'm hearing you, i worshiped the ground she walked on, there wasn't i thing i didn't do for her, don't get me wrong i was no door mate, but if she needed something if it was in my power i did it. luckily this happened now, i was about to ask her to marry me on our anniversary in June, still amazed as to how quickly she has moved on, she sent me another text last night, which i ignored, telling me she might be becoming a step mom soon, now i think that is the record for rebounding, meet start dating and looking at marriage, all within 4 weeks, she will come crashing down, this guy has just been through a bad divorce apparently, so 2 people getting back together just weeks or even days after splitting with there last partners, just because they used to date 7 years ago, and haven't seen each other since, recipe for disaster. don't want to see her hurt still lover her but part of me hope it hurts like hell, is that a bad thing Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 lol no i wish the same thing on him. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 How you feel is never a bad thing, it just *is*. It's what you do with those feelings that matters. Never apologise for how you feel - it's like apologising for being real. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 Right so the plot thickens? and the outcome seems to be she is F***ED in the head, had to drop off a birthday present for her daughter already bought it before the split, even though we have split its not fare to take it out on her kids, so went around she was acting like nothing had happened, sat around the breakfast bar sharing a glass of wine, (just one glass she had run out). showing me her daughters certificates from school. the girls were chatting as if nothing was wrong like as if nothing had happened. asked her why she wanted to stay in touch, cause she still cares for me, etc etc. so i asked her if that was the case, when don't we try to work this out, go on a few dates, do dinner nothing heavy. i can see in her face she still loves me, ?? NO i have made up my mind you cant go back you must go fwd? its been 4 weeks, you cant you go back after 4 weeks but you can go back 7 years to an ex, then i find out its 15 years, had to tell her, darling you ain't 23 anymore and neither is he, 15 years??? anyway told her what i needed to say, love you was going to marry you but i cant be a friend sitting on the side line just in case, it will ruin your relationship's (starting to think its fictitious)and mine so i wont be contacting you anymore lets see NC in play Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Sounds pretty stressful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mickeyp Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 starting to get me down, but hey 14 days i will be in Las Vegas, I'm sure i might be able to forget when I'm there!!! Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 That's the spirit! Time for a new chapter in big mickeyp life story! Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 sooooo Here I am on the rebound thread wondering why the hell it is so easy for some people to pick up and go to SOMEONE ELSE while you are left in pieces. It's not fair, its cruel and so fing painful. Urg, I'm going shopping. Link to post Share on other sites
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