No Idea

[Gabari0219]

I had plans with my ex (of 10yr) to go out to dinner today. Now she is dating someone now for 7mnth. She call me and again told me she is confuse about tonight and she doesn't kno if she should go...but is thinking about it. Now the pain of our break up is now a 6 or 7 (thank god it not a 10 anymore)

 

I was going to cancel..because to be honest we r going in circle. I told her I havent change ..I still want her and my kids back. But the choice is not my...its her to make.

 

Hell I told her I'm glad she in love with this new guy and I'm glad that this guy love her. That there no more need for her to hide it from me. And before I can tell her what we should just cancel our date tonight ...she cut me off

 

To tell me she not in love with him, that she like him alot and that felling in love with someone takes time. I reminded her that we fell in love with each other within 3-4 mnth of us dating...she was speechless..and than reply..Uhmm I need to go.

 

Any how the dinner date was plan after we had sex. But really y should i go on this date. I kno what I want from this date...is for her to realize that she still has feeling for me ...and for us to enjoy each other company.

 

But also by going on this date...will it hurt me ..because what if not come out of it.

 

Not just what if...but again my mind will be fill with ton of question..with no answer to them.

 

1) Why are you here with me

2) Do you love me ..still

3) How much longer...are you going to be with this guy...as it is clear by your action at your not into him

4) When is enough ..enough...

5) Do you see me as a fool

6) Why did you sleep with me...when your with this guy

7) Why claim you hate what happen between us (the sex) ..but you continue to look for me...and flirt with me

8) How can I be here with you...When I kno about the lie

9) How can I be here with you...!

10) Why are you here..you say this isnt a date...but this is what it is!!

11) Are you think of him while you are with me?

12) (AND OF COURSE) What do I have to do to get you back...or say!!

13) It is clear you miss me ..and love me....so why dont you come back!!

14) Am I the fool...who refuse to c the truth!!

 

So what to do ..what to do?? Go on this date or not!! I have try the NC only to get trick back to contact her....she will use the kids...or my feeling for her to get me to break the NC/LC

[Jerrica]

I don't know what to tell you, but I honestly wouldn't go. Especially if those will be the questions bombarding your head while you are with her. You're emotions will show through, she will KNOW how you feel and will see right through you. You DON'T want this, as she will know she can have you back and will stay with this other guy as long as she knows you are still there and waiting around for her.

 

Don't let this girl walk all over you and confuse you. She doesn't know what she wants with this other guy? that's her problem and she can't have you waiting in the side lines, no way! You are so much better than that. Give her a taste of what it is really like to lose you, I highly recommend NC (other than communication about kids) especially as long as she has anything to do with this other guy. It just isn't fair to you.

 

Show her how strong you are, how you are sick of her confusion and you are not waiting any longer, you are going to start moving on. No more dinners, no more sex, no more communication. You can tell her, if she does decide to come back and IF you are available and willing, then you can possibly reconcile. Until then, go on as though you will not get back together. She will surely come running back to you.