Friends choosing sides after the breakup

[Lilmisus]

My ex broke up with me three weeks ago, and we're trying to be friends and coworkers. For the most part, it's working and I'm doing well with moving on, and keeping things friendly and still talking to him and whatnot. All of our coworkers have been friends with us for anywhere from 1-3 years, so we're both pretty close to everyone there, and we haven't made anyone choose "sides" between us. Neither of us are even talking bad about the other at all and are trying to let people know that we both respect one another still and keeping things nice and smooth.

 

I just wish that the guy that got us together last year could behave as maturely as we're trying to (we'll call him Tim)

 

Here's the thing:

 

I overheard a day after our breakup, that Tim's cousin was hitting on my ex while we were still together (started a thread about that, but it was untrue apparently) and it got me mad, especially since I found out the day after we broke up. I told Tim and my ex about it, and they both assured me that it was a false rumor and that she hadn't done anything like that, and I cooled down. The next day, I saw she added him on Facebook. I was shocked and felt that it confirmed the rumor, but I tried not to think anything of it. When I talked to her the next day, we talked about our breakup and everything that was going on, and in the middle of the conversation I brought up that she added him on there. Apparently Tim is the one that requested him and others that we work with and she had nothing to do with it. I believed her and dropped it then and there.

 

A few days later, I went into work and Tim's girlfriend came in and told me that him and his cousin claimed that I messaged her (his cousin) on Facebook asking "Why did you add him?" and that it was really freaky. She asked if I was mad at her, and I burst out laughing. I asked if she was dreaming when that happened or what, since that definitely did not happen. I told her that I talked to her about it in person, and I didn't even ask her like that at all. I told her that she must have misunderstood her or something, but that I didn't really worry about it. While we were talking about this, she started badmouthing my ex saying how wrong he did me and how much better I deserved. I told her that she had it wrong and I told her exactly what happened and that we were trying to be friends and that I'm hurt but not mad. She changed her point of view after that and said that she understood. Tim came around at this point and asked what we were talking about, and we just told him that we were just talking, and he said okay, and went over and talked to my ex, who was just around the corner, and they stood there for about five minutes watching us through the glass (I saw them)...

 

Here's the funny part..

 

He told my ex the same exact thing that his girlfriend asked me about. But instead said he saw the message I sent her (there was NO message to be seen, only a friend request). According to my ex, someone told him that I was up front talking s*** about him, but he refused to tell him who his source was (I'll give you one guess...). Once again, I wasn't saying anything bad about him..I was correcting her, and actually saying great things about him. Tim walked up for a minute and overheard us talking and assumed that I was talking badly and decided to pass it on to my ex. My ex gave me an extremely cold shoulder for the two hours he believed this and kept glaring at me and giving me the f*** you vibe since he thought we were trying to be friends, and me talking about him proved differently. I told him it didn't happen at all and told him everything I told Tim's girlfriend, and we left on a very positive note for the night.

 

A few days later, I decided to ask Tim (while laughing) what this message said that I sent. He said that I asked why she added him. I told him it definitely did not happen and he told me the same thing: he saw it, he knew I sent it. Then he walked away refusing to answer my questions. I was angry and confused, knowing that nothing like that happened. I had to rack my brain and started second guessing myself wondering if maybe I did send it and just didn't think twice about it. My friend tried to "cover" for me by telling him she hacked my account and she sent the message, but I told her that I refuse to cover up something that didn't happen, but that I appreciated her trying to help, and I stood by what I said.

 

I asked his cousin the other day what he was talking about, and she said she had no idea, and said exactly as I did: we talked about it in person, there was no message sent and he must have misunderstood. I asked why he would flat out lie about seeing a non-existant message and she said she didn't know and offered to ask him about it, but I told her that I was tired of worrying about it, and that as long as my ex didn't believe him (he did at first and was mad, and probably considered me psycho, though he didn't say so), then I didn't care.

 

Tim and I haven't talked since. I ignore him now, even though I have to interact with him multiple times a day. That was two weeks ago, and I'm still furious that he would try to screw me over like this and make me look like some psycho ex girlfriend (which my ex says he has a couple of those already). He's tried spreading other rumors around about me, but I wont even bother trying to post them all. I'm just wondering, why would someone do this? I considered him one of my best guy friends before this happened (especially since he got us together) and now I can't trust him at all. I feel as though he chose sides when we weren't doing that, and it makes me furious. I'm still friends with his girlfriend and cousin, but him...I want absolutely nothing to do with him. Anyone who is so willing to screw me over like this and spread flat out lies about me, is not welcomed in my life at all. I want to be friends with my ex, and it makes me feel a lot better to know he believes me when I say I'm not doing anything like that at all, but to know someone is trying to sabotage that..hurts like crazy.