vixen Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 Hey guy, why don't i ever see you post problems of your own? Just curios. No big reason for asking i just never see you open up with your own probs. Vixen Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted October 17, 2003 Moderators Share Posted October 17, 2003 Problems??? Me??? Never had a problem in my whole life, hunn. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 jack dissemble; jack be quick; jack get over that repression schtick! the girl wants to know you. we all do. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted October 17, 2003 Moderators Share Posted October 17, 2003 I guess I should have known that I'd get "called" on my first response. A number of regulars here, Jenn and Beth included, "know" me well enough to know that I was being facetious when I suggested that I have no problems. Of course I have problems...as many as any other human being. Thing is though, some problems have no immediately workable solution, whether two, or for that matter, two thousand people offer their opinions on same. For example Vixen, I find myself yearning for the love of an honest, romantic, intelligent woman. I am sure that many such ladies exist, but it appears that I am attracted to all those who have significant (or insignificant ) others already. Need I recount my summer crush, who, although being a fair bit younger than I am, touched my heart in ways that no other woman ever has? Even though I believe she valued my attention, conversation, etc., she was otherwise "involved", and would/could not reciprocate. I honestly believe she and I could have been a great couple. Nonetheless, there 'tis. One sided affection sucks! LOL Then we come to my situation at work. I am currently teaching a number of different courses at a junior high school, when in reality my heart resides at my old high school "up the road", teaching Biology, Chemistry, and the like, as I had done 4-5 years ago. I want so much to "blow this pop stand and never look back." However, in the interim, the best I can do is to make do with where I am, giving to the kids as I am. My heart is not always in things here as much as I want it to be. Nonetheless, unless I pack everything up, leave my good paying, permanent teaching position here, and go on to uncharted territory (and possibly no work at all), I must stay put and deal. I probably shouldn't even discuss the fact that, interning at our school right now, is a woman who I think a great deal of. She's intelligent, friendly, good conversationalist, great sense of humor (just like her dad, whom I know and worked with a few years back), and we get along splendidly. In fact, only today she and I were chatting in the staff room. She mentioned how I haven't appeared to have been "around much lately". I told her (while in a humorous way) that I missed her not being around much either. I asked her (again, in a bit of a humorous way) if I had to actually come down to the classroom and drag her out of it at lunchtimes to get her out to eat with us. She chalks her spending so much time in the classroom at lunch, etc., to her being a bit of a perfectionist/obsessive over things, always wanting her lessons as polished as possible. Therefore, she spends a lot of energy getting things just right before the kids do the activities. As I told her, I can be bad like that too...getting work assignments, etc., as "perfect" as I can before giving them to the kids. We both mused about being such perfectionists over things. I joke around with her all the time, and she tends to give a lot of direct eye contact while we talk. As we were kidding around and talking today, she gave me a touch on the foot (I was doing the ole "left leg across my right knee" thing, and on telling her something silly, she reached out and touched my foot/ankle.) Fact is, we just appear to have a great rapport together. NONETHELESS, I believe she is also with a BF, i.e. taken, and even if she is not right now, she has plans to move away when she finishes up her teacher training (in December I believe). Therefore, even if she was available now, she would not likely be a viable "long term option." Another issue: I have recently been on a diet. For the past month or so, I have been able to discipline myself to lose a fair bit of weight. I have taken to doing nice long walks in the evenings, through a community not too far from here. However, as of late, I have found myself really really getting disillusioned with things. People compliment me on the weight loss, and it's nice, but I am truly hitting empty with things on the "interest in the diet" scale. I think that the routine is sorta killing my enjoyment of it. LOL...I know Ryan and the guys would consider that silly, weak-minded, poppycock, etc.. Nonetheless, I feel what I am feeling. Food, as many of us on here know, can be a destructive but delicious best friend on times. It's hard not to just pack it in and say to heck with it, Curt. Be happy for as long as you can, and if food gives that emotional "boost/crutch" for a while, then so be it. Just pig out and be damned. Yes, I know, that that would be extremely ill advised. Nonetheless, there is where my mind sometimes is. I consider myself a decently spiritual person. Nonetheless, my desire to be spiritual as of late has reached a lower ebb. I love God, and would hate losing my faith but, sometimes one just gets into some rough times in life, and "the music loses tempo". Hey, that's just the way things are sometimes. Throw in that nagging feeling that I am 32, with no family of my own, no woman to share so much love with, and ... blah blah blah. LMAO Notwithstanding all this, I try to get out as much as I can for friendly conversation with close friends, family, etc., I make a point of taking as many nights a week as I can for me. I still do the walking thing as much as I can, trying to get in shape, eat out with friends at a local hotspot once each week...and so on. Problems? Yup, I've got them by the barrel full folks. Sometimes, though, the only thing that any of us can do is to just live life the best we can, under God's grace, actively seeking out a better life and true love. Being responsive to the needs and wants of our human condition will always be part of the equation. Ya know, in that way, teaching is instructive in itself, because each day you are actively challenged to appreciate and seek out the positive and good in young eyes, hearts, and minds. In return, perhaps helping them learn important lessons and ideals early in their lives, I will help them grow to be active, happy, loving and contributing members of society. In turn, their well adjusted kids will make the world a more positive place as well. And the cycle continues on. Thanks though...to the ladies, in particular. Yeah, you all know who you are!!! Somehow, sometimes it helps when we are "cornered" to give in on issues presently in our own lives. Peace. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Author vixen Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 Thank you curt i can see you as a human now. I mean befor you were just some guy always trying to make me dump jon, now your a man with a heart and soul. I suppose we forget that people on the internet don't know us. That they don't know how we think and feel. Here's a thought, maybe those of us willing to share should do just as you did. I know i'd feel alot better taking advice from someone if i knew where they'er comming from. And if i may be so bold dear curt as to give you a bit of advice on a subject i know well. I was 180 bls, in febuary, now i'm 130. Don't think of it as a diet. Becouse that mind set tells you the thing is temporary. It's never temporary. And what some call "cheeting" is realy living. Being health consouse is what's important. You want to have a healthy wieght, not loose wieght. See what i'm saying wrap your mind around it that way. enjoy the walk, enjoy any and all exercize you get. remember thier are people in wheel chairs dinied this pleasure. I'm happy for you that you've chosen to become physicaly fit. Keep up the good work, and if you feel down about it, i'm always ready to help. PS, Drink a tun of water. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 I think that the routine is sorta killing my enjoyment of it. LOL...I know Ryan and the guys would consider that silly, weak-minded, poppycock, etc. Nah dog....I kill enjoyment very quickly when I train people. Link to post Share on other sites
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