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I feel so lonely but I don't want to be around anyone?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 17th October 2010, 2:16 PM   #1
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I feel so lonely but I don't want to be around anyone?

I have this overwhelming feeling of saddness and lonliness. I just can't shake it. I've forced myself to be around my friends and it's good for a while but then I just start feeling sad and want to be on my own. When they go I feel so alone. I've had to move out of me and my exes house and im now living in a shared house with people i dont know and i dont really see alot. So effectively Im living on my own. I feel so isolated. All my family and friends live in a diff town as Ive just started uni as a mature student. I have some friends but they are younger than me and i just dont connect to them on a deeper level than going out. I dont want this lonliness to effect my studies. I miss him so much, there is a massive hole in my life. I cry when I see couples together walking out of the super market. I only cry when Im on my own though. I dont talk to anyone about it, I feel like I can't. No one realises the tourment I'm going through. Any advice?
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Old 17th October 2010, 2:58 PM   #2
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I feel the same way, I don't talk to anyone about my situation nobody knows the pain I was in, I am getting better now but it was a hard time for me. I think as time goes by and you stick with NC the pain will go away slowly. Just try to stay strong and it should work out for you
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Old 17th October 2010, 3:10 PM   #3
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Give yourself time, nobody dies from love. Try to talk with someone about how do you feel, this is a great place to start.

Bests regards,

Oscar
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Old 18th October 2010, 1:53 AM   #4
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OMG oscar wilde is alive again :)

No but seriously hun, you'll be fine it's going to take time though. Tears will continue to flow, you will feel anger, loneliness, frustration, pretty much every emotion in the spectrum. Then slowly, I suggest you keep no contact to speed the process, you will begin to heal and see the light of day again. I remember my first love in college took me close to a year to get over, but then suddenly she was seriously gone. I just didn't give a ****.

The best thing you can do for yourself is allow yourself to mourn your loss, and offer yourself self love. Really take care of yourself during this time and try going to school events and places which will allow you to connect to new people and explore interests you have. You want to heal your heart, you want the pain to subside, well the best way to do that is to mourn and work on yourself

Good Luck Kiddo, you'll be just fine I promise. And that's a money back garuntee.
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Old 18th October 2010, 4:05 AM   #5
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I know exactly how you feel. Me and my girlfriend broke up about 7 weeks ago. It was my fault as she found emails between me and other girls. Although it didn't look very good from her point of view, I never had any intentions of cheating on her. I totally accept my mistake and I'll have to live with as she has since started uni in another city.

I felt at first like I was doing ok and although I missed her, I just kind of got on with it.

However, I think about her 24/7 & I have moments of overwhelming sadness, where I literally do just want to break down.

I've gone into self-destruct mode since we broke up and no matter how hard I try I can't get rid of it.

Probably the worst part is, is that I've read so much on here that you just need to give up hope and once the hope of a reconciliation is gone, then you will begin to heal. The worst part is I genuinely don't want to want to get over her. The hope has gone, but I'm in love with her. I can't see myself getting over that in the coming months.

I've had all the advice in the world off this site, such as keep yourself busy, look after yourself etc. I know there's no miracle cure, but I'm just sat here at work, 7 weeks in and I can honestly say I'm still well and truly heartbroken.

I'm not really looking for any advice at the moment, I just needed to vent to someone, because I don't really have anyone that can talk to about it.
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Old 18th October 2010, 5:04 AM   #6
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We still have contact. Pretty much all the time. He's says he wants to be friends and will always be there for me. I just can not help rining him and texting him. I miss him so much it's driving me mad. I dream about him ever night. Bedtime and waking up are the worst. I had everything I ever wanted with him and I just can't let that go, I don't actually know how. I'm scared that I'm going to feel like this forever. As soon as I start to feel slightly better it all just comes back again so much worse. Te emptiness is killing me inside. I feel like there is no point, no point in moving on, no point in falling in love again. No point in being in this life alone and crushed. I never knew another person could make me feel this way. I think about not being here sometimes and just how I wish I could do it, I know it's selfish and I would never ever do it but I feel so trapped. I would have sworn blind that we would be together forever. I thought we were going to get married and have children. I wanted to wake up with him by my side everyday. He said he wanted that too. Then something changed in him. I just can't let go of that dream, I was so close to having it. I can't trust myself, I was certain we'd be together. Nothing is certain anymore...
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Old 18th October 2010, 5:22 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by watshername View Post
We still have contact. Pretty much all the time. He's says he wants to be friends and will always be there for me. I just can not help rining him and texting him. I
Hi!

my ex said me the same, after one month of being in contact, hugs and kisses included, also bed.... I felt worse every day, and she felt so happy... strange relationship... until I realized she was using me.

Last week I sent her an e-mail stating that I don't want to be friends, and I started NC.... and I assure you that I feel a lot better.

Use NC, it's the best!

Oscar.
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Old 18th October 2010, 5:27 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by MTA111 View Post
I know exactly how you feel. Me and my girlfriend broke up about 7 weeks ago. It was my fault as she found emails between me and other girls. Although it didn't look very good from her point of view, I never had any intentions of cheating on her. I totally accept my mistake and I'll have to live with as she has since started uni in another city.

I felt at first like I was doing ok and although I missed her, I just kind of got on with it.

However, I think about her 24/7 & I have moments of overwhelming sadness, where I literally do just want to break down.

I've gone into self-destruct mode since we broke up and no matter how hard I try I can't get rid of it.

Probably the worst part is, is that I've read so much on here that you just need to give up hope and once the hope of a reconciliation is gone, then you will begin to heal. The worst part is I genuinely don't want to want to get over her. The hope has gone, but I'm in love with her. I can't see myself getting over that in the coming months.

I've had all the advice in the world off this site, such as keep yourself busy, look after yourself etc. I know there's no miracle cure, but I'm just sat here at work, 7 weeks in and I can honestly say I'm still well and truly heartbroken.

I'm not really looking for any advice at the moment, I just needed to vent to someone, because I don't really have anyone that can talk to about it.
Your not alone with this, but what choice do people have, for something to work both people have to want it otherwise you end up on here having to deal with the loss
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Old 18th October 2010, 5:33 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by MTA111 View Post
I've had all the advice in the world off this site, such as keep yourself busy, look after yourself etc. I know there's no miracle cure, but I'm just sat here at work, 7 weeks in and I can honestly say I'm still well and truly heartbroken.
it.[/I]
Hi MTA!

Only time will heal your broken heart, with a right mental attitude it will be easier. Nothing can avoid you the pain involved in the grief process. So keep posting here as we are going to support you!

Bests regards!
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Old 18th October 2010, 6:13 AM   #10
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Thanks alot for the support. (even if I have hijacked this thread a little bit). I don't know what's wrong with me today. Bearing in mind that we broke up 7 weeks ago and I haven't cried once and although I've missed her, I've generally been ok and been able to get on.

Then for no reason this morning I woke up feeling incredibly sad. I ended up welling up while driving to work this morning & then I've literally just gone out the room and burst into tears.

To be perfectly honest, I think this could be more than just being upset over losing my girlfriend. In the past 5 weeks I've lost a stone & a half in weight (I'm 21 years old, 5' 9" and normally weight a constant 11 stone, now dropped to 9st 8). I can't find enjoyment in anything. I think about my ex 24/7 and i mean 24/7. I have been waking up between 5 & 10 times throughout the night, every night, for at least the past 3 weeks.

Just not really sure where to turn at the moment. (Apart from here obviously)
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Old 18th October 2010, 10:37 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by watshername View Post
We still have contact. Pretty much all the time. He's says he wants to be friends and will always be there for me. I just can not help rining him and texting him. I miss him so much it's driving me mad. I dream about him ever night. Bedtime and waking up are the worst. I had everything I ever wanted with him and I just can't let that go, I don't actually know how. I'm scared that I'm going to feel like this forever. As soon as I start to feel slightly better it all just comes back again so much worse. Te emptiness is killing me inside. I feel like there is no point, no point in moving on, no point in falling in love again. No point in being in this life alone and crushed. I never knew another person could make me feel this way. I think about not being here sometimes and just how I wish I could do it, I know it's selfish and I would never ever do it but I feel so trapped. I would have sworn blind that we would be together forever. I thought we were going to get married and have children. I wanted to wake up with him by my side everyday. He said he wanted that too. Then something changed in him. I just can't let go of that dream, I was so close to having it. I can't trust myself, I was certain we'd be together. Nothing is certain anymore...
I know exactly what you mean, I feel this mostly every day. I dream about him all the time. I wake up and remember he's not with me in the morning and I go to bed alone. It's the worst. I see him everywhere and wonder why he doesn't even think of me. Why is it that I feel this way and he can easily move on? I torture myself with these thoughts and even picturing him happy with another person, but I can't imagine why he would be. It's extremely hard to let him go, but you have to do it. It could very well be the first step in getting him back.

I have been in NC for about two weeks now, it gets easier with time. I buried myself into things I've neglected since I was with him because I either found no time or I just wanted to spend all of it with him. Stupid really, you have to be selfish sometimes and remember the things that made you who you are. I started playing the violin again, started learning piano, even took up a language class. Start getting involved in things you were interested in, perhaps you wanted to go rock climbing or wanted to learn how to play guitar, start doing it. Maybe you wanted to really get into your artistic side or take a road trip. Just do it. Sitting around moping really doesn't help anyone and there isn't any point. Don't wait, move on. This is very important.

When he left he took your confidence and now you feel insecure. You never really realized just how much emotional dependence you had on someone until they walk away and it's terrifying. When you feel that depressed and that emptiness it's unthinkable how far you've fallen. It's like being stuck in a cellophane pit, no matter how much you try to get out you always slide down further. You can't see past his face and being with friends/family only alleviates some of the pain. Of course until everyone is gone and you are by yourself then. During these times you may want to try and reflect on the bad portions of the relationship. Truly think, was he right for me? Even if he came back, do I want him to come back? Is this worth it? Will he do this again? Perhaps make a list of pros and cons of him. Find what truly made the relationship work and what didn't. Do not think you were the sole problem because it isn't true. Our memories are selective even though he may have been a great guy and hardly did anything that could be seen as "wrong" try to examine important things to you. Was he neglectful? Was he thoughtful of you? How did he show his appreciation? Did the relationship seem one sided at times? Did he communicate his feelings properly? You aren't telepathic. Don't try to torture yourself with trying to predict the future either. He could come back, he might not, just understand no one knows this except him. It's just if he does, do you want him to? Give it time for him to examine himself and your relationship who knows maybe he'll realize there really is nothing else out there for him and will fulfill him the same way you did.

No one walks away from the relationship completely unburdened. There is always nostalgia. It might not hit at once but it'll definitely come. Try to keep no contact to give you time to heal. Start working out too, the endorphins help A LOT. Go on walks or bury yourself in your studies (if you are in school) truly reflect on yourself and become an amazing person. Perhaps he held you back and you never knew it. Regain your confidence and put him on the shelf. After all, it's his loss at the end of the day especially if he thought of a future with you. Go explore the world, don't sit alone as much as you'd want to. It's a beautiful autumn this year, go out and enjoy it.
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Old 18th October 2010, 1:21 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by MTA111 View Post
Thanks alot for the support. (even if I have hijacked this thread a little bit). I don't know what's wrong with me today. Bearing in mind that we broke up 7 weeks ago and I haven't cried once and although I've missed her, I've generally been ok and been able to get on.

Then for no reason this morning I woke up feeling incredibly sad. I ended up welling up while driving to work this morning & then I've literally just gone out the room and burst into tears.

To be perfectly honest, I think this could be more than just being upset over losing my girlfriend. In the past 5 weeks I've lost a stone & a half in weight (I'm 21 years old, 5' 9" and normally weight a constant 11 stone, now dropped to 9st 8). I can't find enjoyment in anything. I think about my ex 24/7 and i mean 24/7. I have been waking up between 5 & 10 times throughout the night, every night, for at least the past 3 weeks.

Just not really sure where to turn at the moment. (Apart from here obviously)
Your not alone i lost a few stone haven't slept in weeks been a month now tho no contact for about a week wake up thinking about her go to bed thinking about her, in the gym everyday but still thinking about her, had to take two weeks off work due to the stress. So your not alone just try and keep going one day at a time.
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