I have never changed after four years. :Just dumped:

[Luna Tears]

So I have been dumped. I know it's a good thing as I'm now free and can now start to feel good about myself.

 

However I feel depressed and know what triggered him off.

 

On Friday he picked me up from the train station, I thought he was going to be driving me to my parents home as I knew his parents were coming up and I needed to wash my clothes etc. Instead he drove to the farm and I agreed because I thought he had last minute cleaning up.

 

After vaccumming he just sat and started to play online poker and then his dad called saying "We are an hour away" I thought oh good then he is going to drive me back to my parents place. No, he just kept sitting there.

 

I know I should have asked him to take me home. But I was to drainned from the travel. So I thought one night wouldn't be bad.

 

Brian didn't tell me that he was planning on doing some work around the place so I ended up sitting in the kitchen watching tv. On Sunday I was feeling disgusting as my suitcase was in the back of the car and I couldn't find the key to open it and since it was a stinking hot day, I started to smell because I was wearing the same set of clothes that I wore on Friday and Saturday. I also didn't really do much so I lazed in the house with his mother fluttering in and around the house, I just felt so terrible, especially as his mother started sweeping and cooking lunch.

 

I should have called my mother up but I didn't want to make a scene with my mother coming to pick me up. In the evening his mother told me I had to go for a walk. So I did and it felt great getting out of the house. When I got back Brian had this sullen look on his face and asked how my walk was.

 

Then after dinner I went on the internet of his new computer, even though he told me not to. Yes I defied him, so he got the annoyed with that.

 

When we went to bed, I could feel something wasn't right. Then he went into a long attack about my lazyness (I thought I started to pick up the slack on my lazyness by cleaning his place and washing up etc it's just this weekend it was to hot). How I wasn't changing and even to the point his friend said how he couldn't believe how lazy I was. How his parents didn't like telling him to make me do something (If they wanted something done they should have told me to) and this weekend they didn't say anything to see if I would do something without them telling me too. I have no idea on what they wanted me to do. Since Justin could have taken me up the back of the property but no he didn't. I asked if I could pick some fruit to give to the animals. There was no fruit as his mother had picked it that morning.

 

Then he gave me TEN MINUTES to explain myself he even eyed the clock as I tried to think of what I could say to defend my actions that would appease him. What I came up with wasn't good and up to his standard.

 

So he got out of bed, got dressed told me to put on my clothes and I asked why he was acting like this. He said that it was embarassing, mainly for him as I was lazing around and that his own mother had to tell me to go walking.

 

Then he went to the car and I got dressed, thinking what a loser I am for having a lazy weekend. That I should have called my mother up and none of it would have happened.

 

As he was driving me home he was going 110kms an hour he turned to me and said that my pleading was pathetic, that sex has been disgusting (mainly because I scream at him to not put his phallus into my anus)and he hadn't "came" in six months. To top it off he told me I was a liar and that I lie everyday to him and he was also sick of me not listening to him.

 

Yes I might lie occasionally only on little things but I don't lie everyday.

 

This morning when I woke up my mother asked why I was bought home at 2:30 in the morning. I didn't say much to her as I'm embarassed and just said he was having one of his episodes.

 

 

Why do I feel so depressed? A lot of what ifs etc, I should have told him to take me home I thought in his mind he would have taken me home. I just feel like a loser. To add insult to injury my mother said that the whole town knows he is using me.

[Shuffty]

Of course you feel like loser, who wouldn't with this guy breathing down their neck? He just did you the biggest favour ever and set you free, forget about the what-ifs. And if the 'whole town' knows he was using you, then the 'whole town' will know when you pick yourself up, realise that being on your own is not the worst thing in the world - you will not die from being single, and - if you want to - find someone who's worth your time and not as awful and abusive as this person sounds. Steer clear of the drama, it's detrimental to anyones well being, it's not a normal, healthy way to be.