University break-up looking for insight

[novack]

I met my ex gf 1/2 way through my first year of college two years ago. Before i met her i never really had a serious gf, i've had sex with plenty of girls but never had a meaningful relationship. My Ex never really had anything she was a virgin.

 

We dated for the a little under two years, experienced a lot of good times and some bad ones (not too many). We both underwent 2 summers without seeing each other and have both met each other's parents numerous times.

 

When i returned to college this year early for frosh, i had an amazing three days with her before frosh started (i didnt spend as much time as i usually do just bc there was alot of errands to be had). We both did seperate froshes and both had plenty of guys/girls throw themselves at us. A couple of ****ed things happened during frosh

 

On the 2nd night her friend called me telling me that my gf was so drunk she was being taken home. I went over to check up on her within the next ten and when i got there she was stumbling down the stairs (black out drunk). There was a guy in her bed, they hadn't done anything it was an awkward situation. The next day we both had frosh again at the same beach club we fought a little and there was tension, but we both got drunk and when we got home we had sex. She got far to drunk that night and was hungover the next day. She was acting very strange during that day and half, and she calls me over to tell me she needs a break to figure things out.

 

Her reasoning was that she needed to see if she could be independent of me and stand on her own two feet. I accepted the situation and tried a week break. We were both at an open pub and it wasn't that big, there was this guy talking to her for an hour and they were dancing, i so drunk couldn't handle it left utterly destroyed. I called her the next day a day early to figure it out, told her how i felt but it was clear to me that she wanted it over so we broke up.

 

I have tried no contact, very unsuccesfully. small texts every now and then and a couple of conversations.

 

i have seen her three times

1. was middle of sept, at a party we talked in a room yelling a little bit at each other eventually making out, i left before it could turn into more

2. Saw her this last thursday at a party (month after we broke up) she was very depressed and i wasn't so nice to her (not mean just not the way i normally am with her. When she left gave her a kiss on the cheek and she started to cry and ran out

 

I have slept with a couple of girls since we broke up in an attempt to make me feel better , didn't work. I think she knows this though.

 

Last night i was coming home from the bar at 3AM, and i saw her taking the guy from the open bar a month earlier home with her. My legs literally collapsed on seeing her with him again and was seriously upset.

 

I am not upset that she slept with him or w/e cause she needs to figure out her life, as do i. I am more upset that i think we both have feelings for each other yet we are doing this to each other.

 

I told her last time we spoke that i wouldn't call her and i havn't but that she should call me if she want, she hasn't.

 

I know i have to get over her, but its so difficult because we both love each other still.... just looking for insight what you guys think thanks

[harmfulsweetz]

I think you both need to go out and experiment a bit more. She's your first proper thing, and you hers. It's not a bad thing to realise that you know what? You just aren't ready. Least you know now. Erm, try to avoid the places she goes, it will only hurt you when you see her get with other guys. She hasn't called you, so chances are, she's happy. I don't doubt she's got feelings for you, but this may be for the best.