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Can you still be together when one moves out?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 25th August 2009, 7:23 PM   #1
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Can you still be together when one moves out?

My boyfriend and I moved in together over a year ago. Things always seem to be great. Never had really big issues.

But he has decided he wants to move out and live with his family instead. Still wants us to be together and doesnt understand how it is hurtful to me. He can't seem to understand that it is a big change.

He wants to work on himself and wants himself to realize what he is taken for granted.

I'm so confused and get seem to get my head straight.

I want things to be the same like how they used to be...
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Old 25th August 2009, 8:07 PM   #2
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Well, have you calmly explained to him why this is hurting you and why you dislike it and why you still want to live together? Why you want things to stay like they are?

If not, then you shouldn't be typing a topic, you should be doing what I just said.

If you HAVE done all of the above, tell me.
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Old 25th August 2009, 8:51 PM   #3
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I have tried to calmy explain my reasons... When ever I do it always turns into an argument.

It's like the more I pursue him the more he pushes back. I am starting to try to give him his space but I get so lonely.
We used to do everything together and it's hard learning to go do things on my own again. He dis approves of a lot of my friends since they are mostly male and the ones that are females he doesnt trust. So this has left me isolated and now that he has moved back with his family by the beach, he has been doing many activities he enjoys.

When he lived with me he would isolate himself and watch tv all day. I ask him to go out and do things but he is always tired and so on.
Since I live in the Valley the weather is so hot, he says it makes him feel depressed. Only lately he has been like that.

I didn't mention that ever since I got pregnant 4 months ago (ended in miscarriage) that our relationship has gone down hill. He showed a side I've never seen. After our loss we talked about or relationship and agreed to start working on it.

How can one work on it themselves....?

I feel like we have already broken up in a way. Altho he says we are still a couple.. I feel like it might be an easy way for him to let go slowly?

Any advice to what I can do to get him to see me in a better light?
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Old 25th August 2009, 8:57 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crzi View Post
Any advice to what I can do to get him to see me in a better light?
Give him the space he's asking for and see where it goes. I also moved out on my ex to work on myself. We were still a couple. However once I started rebuilding my life she left me for another guy..sh*t happens! It was my choice to move out and I'm glad I did..I do however wish she would have gave me the space I needed without exploring other avenues. She's now back wanting to make things work but, the cheating thing is VERY hard to get over.
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Old 25th August 2009, 9:58 PM   #5
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I gotta say I am familiar with this one.... This is a sure sign of a relationship in trouble, You CANNOT force things to last. I fought against this type of situation and it blew up in my face...My point was that SPACE=DISTANCE. I was right. If they want to be free of you there is NOTHING you can do about it except be an amazing great person that naturally gravitates the right people toward you. Don't force it, but realize they are looking for an escape hatch and it is extremely likely that the relationship is headed for the rocks. Sorry to be harsh but it is something I lived through and I am telling you that it is a sign for you to get out on your own while your heart is intact.
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Old 26th August 2009, 12:47 AM   #6
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Thank u For the advice...
I will try to give him space... Does that mean I shouldn't initiate contact?
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Old 26th August 2009, 1:33 AM   #7
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I went through this and at first moving out meant staying together but then it just turned into wanting to be with someone else, sigh.......usually not good.
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Old 26th August 2009, 1:13 PM   #8
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i moved out of mine and my bf's house.... he had kissed some chick, i couldn't really trust him and living with him just made it worse, so i moved back home.

really it was the beginning of the end- this was a step in distancing myself.... that was in october and i broke up with him the following april- which honestly was 6 months i wasted my energies in worrying about him.
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