Ex Business

[guest]

I have been in a relationship with my bf for 4.5 years now. He lost his mother when he was 10. I don't think he has ever grieved her passing, and I have told him several times to see a counselor.

 

No matter, he decided that he was confused about what he wanted last week (on July 3) Then we got back together, a week later had an argument and broke up again.

 

The thing that makes this so hard is that we run a business together so it is hard not to associate w/ him. I don't think either one of us should walk completely away from the business and I don't think the business can survive without one or the other (me or him).

 

So that is my dilemma.

 

The funny thing is I spoke to him today about a business matter and it seems HE is the one upset! As if I broke up with him!

 

Sunday I went over his house and it was a big mess. His father called the police because I just sat tehre and said I wouldn't leave. I went over there because I told him on teh phone that I took some pills to see what his reaction would be. He hung up on me. When I went over there I asked him if he really thought I was suicidal, why would he do that? I guess that was my test/affirmation that he really doesn't love me. I don't care how selfish you are or how much you need to be alone, if you love someone and you think they are hurt or may die, none of that petty stuff should matter.

 

But what about the business?

[Tony T]

As far as the business, I'm sure you structured it so in the event of a break up, there would be a way of deciding which of you would have the ability to buy the other out and under what terms. If you didn't, you need to negotiate and decide who will continue to operate the business and buy the other out. If neither of you want to keep it, sell it and split all monies after inventory and capital expenses are paid.

 

As far as whether you are dead or alive, what you pulled with the pill thing was cruel and unthinkable. They have every reason to never talk to you again until the end of the world.

 

They were under no obligation to interefere with your alleged desire to kill yourself and showed great restraint and respect for you by giving you time to carry out your wishes.

 

When you showed up after announcing you told him the lie that you had taken some pills in order to commit suicide, that showed that you are cruel, insensitive, deceitful, manipulative and that you have a whole lot of other qualities that your ex never wanted in a mate. It was a great disappointment to them, not that you were still alive, but that you would pull such an incredibly cruel stunt. This was not in good taste.

 

So you say he is still grieving the loss of mother at age 10...then you have to pull a suicide stunt. That was one of the meanest capers you could have ever pulled on another human being who you know has serious abandonment issues. Shooting him in the heart would have been kinder. You don't deserve for anybody to care.

 

Sell him the business if he wants it, give him a great price...or better yet give it to him....and let him move on with his life.

 

YOU are the one who needs vast amounts of counselling.

 

I'm sorry if this sounds like a personal attack but it can't be because I don't know you. But it is an absolute attack on your behavior that I consider to be the most cruel, manipulative and deceitful that I have EVER seen on the message board in nearly three years!!!!!!!!!

[guest]

I admit it was in bad taste but it wasn't a lie. I didn't say I didn't take them, I said I told him to see what his reaction would be. I only took 8 tylenol so it wasn't life threatening. You can't die from that anyway.

 

 

He knows that I get depressed sometimes so if you ask me, he was cruel for hanging up on me if he really did love me.

 

And as far as teh business, it is a nonprofit so we can't sell it and I don't think either one of us should walk away from it nor do either one of us have the right to ask the other one to leave.

[Tony T]

I don't care how many of what you took, your stunt was cruel, immature and showed character that is not in high demand. It was also a lie in that what you meant to convey was that you had taken a lethal dose of a substance...rather than a handful of Tylenol. You can't get out of that one!

 

You need counselling to see why you would go to the extremes of feigning suicide in order to see how much somebody cares about you. There is no authoritative source on love, friendship or relationships that recommends or even suggests a person contemplate that method.

 

Anyway, since your business cannot be sold it has no inherent value except for the money it produces for you and your ex. One of you should move on and find another job. The one with the most maturity will be the one to move on. If the two of you have the same level of gray matter, then duke it out.

 

Depending on the laws of your state, the stock in a non-profit corporation can be transferred to another party and there are ways to receive monthly payments from new stockholders or officers. See an attorney for details.

 

It is insane for the two of you to remain in business together unless you are love drama and bad feelings.

[guest]

A nonprofit means nonstock. There is no ownership at all. We do not personally ebnefit with money out of this.

 

That's funny that you said the one with more maturity should walk away because it seems to me the person who can't handle it should walk away, or the person taht is not mature enough to hseparate business from personal matters.

 

You can think what you want of me but you only know what I told you. You don't know what he did to me. I don't know who you are but I don't know of anyone who would tell a person that is depressed that they are cruel for being hurt.

[guest]

I admit it was not my intention to kill myself, but obviously I wasn't thinking straight. Trust me, the thought had crossed my mind but I would never go through with it. Either way, he knew all of this and hung up the phone on me.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "You can think what you want of me but you only know what I told you."

 

So how are you expecting to be helped properly if you are holding back important facts? I based what I think on the facts presented....just like juries to when they find people guilty of crimes.

 

I'm bowing out of this one. Too much drama for me. But I know somebody will come along with greater wisdom. Yours is the kind of situation I avoid at all cost in my life.

 

Mature people don't put themselves through pain and heartbreak. Just because a person is mature doesn't mean they can just turn their emotions off and remain in the presence of somebody they still care deeply about.

 

I'm outta here!!!