TRUE LOVE...why does it hurt so much?

[alwayssme]

Sorry if this post is going to be sentimental and emotional. I have wrote in here for the past two months, and everyone has been great. I'm not exactly asking for "advice" because I have realized that nothing anybody can say or do will take my pain away.

 

 

It has been over a month since the last time I called my ex (surpirsed at myself for not calling him but I did it). It has been 4 months since he broke up with me. 3 weeks since the last time I saw/spoke to him.

 

 

It is the weirdest experience ever, without a doubt the most painful one. I seriously find myself so depressed. For the past 4 months I have not been able to find happiness...and this is coming from somebody who is usually a very happy person. So I don't understand, what has happened to me?

 

Was it that I was too attached? The fact that I saw him everyday and that we had great memories? I HAD love, I felt it in my heart and soul. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to let him go. I thought I got better but sometimes I'll just break down and cry. I don't even know why. This may sound dramatic, but I picture my life without him and I instantly get this nausea feeling in my stomach and it just hurts!

 

They say time heals all wounds but they also say true love never dies. I'm not trying to complain about how much this hurts because we wouldnt all be here if it didnt, but what I dont get is why does it feel like my whole universe has been turned upside down? I love this guy with all my heart and now he is a different person, I know that but all the logic and knowledge in the world does not keep me from hurting. It makes no sense. At times I get so angry at myself and i do everythig i can possibly think of to NOT think of him, hell i even talk to myself saying someday i will find somebody else or time will heal it and everything...but nope!

 

This is a wasted love, it makes me sooo mad. I should have never fallen so hard for him because now its seriously gotten me depressed. This kind of love should only exist with the right person that would never leave u. I wish I looked at him as just my "boyfriend" but noooo he had to be my everything, I literally feel like I have lost a part of me.

 

It's a sad situation. I feel like I'm just going around in circles....*sigh* Sorry if this post makes no sense...And now that finals are near, it is tough handling school, work AND heartbreak...yet there is still people who have it worst so i guess were blessed......

[Cub]

"Blessed" my ass. Pain is pain - there is no one more or less justified in feeling pain, regardless of the situation. I'd hate to live somewhere where only the most miserable person had the right to feel miserable; that's misery in itself.

 

Just take your healing one step at a time. It may not feel like it now, but the three weeks you've spent without him have gotten you somewhere - you're not the same girl you were right after the breakup, and you're that much closer to healing. Nothing is forever; not love and not heartbreak.

[wmast]

This post really struck a chord in me. You are so right, losing true love hurts so bad. I guess there's nothing I can say but I know exactly how you feel. Try to look at it like an experience that you can take on to a new relationship. The hard part about doing that is most likely you feel like you won't give your all in your next relationship in order to not hurt again. Heck, I've even started second guessing the whole idea of love/ marriage. It's a crushing blow but then again life must go on.

I really hope we all get past this

[Dmoney28]

hey always

i read your post for the last couple of months. I know the pain you speak of. If it wasnt love, it wouldnt hurt so bad. Some people go through life never experiencing "true" love. They marry or have LTR because of convience, or because of compatibilty. Or many other reasons. My ex dumped me because i broke trust and lied. And we both have been feeling the same way after the breakup til this day(3 months)...sleepless nights, loss of appetite, weight loss, deppression, and pain. we kept in touch the whole entire time, although that isnt really a good thing. Last time we spoke, we both knew we were in love, because we both expressed the pain of not being in love... in a relationship. But my actions prevent that. And most likely we wont be together. Possibly in the future...but who knows. You have to let time do its thing.

 

Honestly i never knew pain like this was possible. i never been in a LTR(3.5 years) and lived with someone before, so it was a rude awakening. But it does get more tolerable. It dosent go away completly, but it does hurt less month after month. And its a struggle to let go. But what else can you do? this might sound strange, but the way i dealt with it...was to embrace the pain for a hour each day, each week. I mean cry, let the seething burning emotions consume you...then go for a LONG walk. After all the crying, pain and walking...i was so tired at the end of the day, i crashed as soon as i walked through the door. Then one month, i noticed, it was harder to cry...it was harder to feel sad all the time..the pain wasnt as intense...because i didnt hold it in anymore, my feelings for her was there still...so yeah, time heals..just my experience.