Roller EastCoaster Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Hey all, It seems many of us have similar stories... girl/guy says then need space or time to be alone, and then boom! They are seeing someone right off the bat. Well thats what I dealt with as I ran into them back then a few months ago and all that drama that ensued.... Well now, I'm in a very different position as I was then and it almost seems like the tables have turned. Now I have been doing NC which has helped .... In the meantime, the last month and half I have dated a few women and really enjoyed it. In doing so I regained confidence, composure, and my spirit. In retrospect my resilience I feel is due to NC, dating, and my own natural ability to bounce back and desire to bounce back. Granted I still think about her all the time, but at this point I would not... I REPEAT would not get back into a committed relationship with her, I doubt she wants that too. I am really am enjoying the new life or this refreshing new perspective on life that being newly single offers. Trust me I was in the doldrums, I was at rock-bottom when sh*t hit the fan with her repeatedly over a period of two months of non-stop drama, but slowly things settled and I took my own path. Thats it guys that choice is there for you to make. So now what has happened recently is interesting and unsettling. Basically she started persistently contacting me right around V-day, and has continued to do so (but less persistently) right up to today. we have spoke briefly only once, very quick how are you? and yeah we shud get together sometime. Also a friend ran into her (last week) and said she talked about me to him saying she felt deeply for me still and that she seemed very unsettled and lost in her general demeanor. I must say I am in a situation now which I feel I must treat with caution and intelligence, because this is now becoming a delicate situation. I know very soon we are going to meet with each other... funny thing is I feel quite removed from the situation at this point as i have occupied my mind with other things and its almost as if dealing with this ex situation is regressing, but somehow there is a magnetic force that is pulling both of us back towards each other... So I must say I am at a loss on how to deal with meeting and communication with her considering what my friend told me about how she seems to be not her usual self. Any advice??? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Your ex must be going through the regretting phase now. I say keep your current pace, and stay away from her for as long as you can. Seeing her is not gonna help in the long run, and might in fact ruin your new found perspective in enjoying the single lfe. Right now you need to focus on yourself, yes it does seem like an ego boost that she acts like she's crawling back to you, but that is not the case. Seeing her will only make you built up fantasies and hope that you might get back together, but know that she's only seeing you because she lacked your attention. Once she's done, she's had her satisfaction of knowing you'd still wanted her, and you'll be going through the pain of trying to forget her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Roller EastCoaster Posted March 7, 2008 Author Share Posted March 7, 2008 Thanks for the response papercut, I see what you are saying and that I have to avoid falling into an emotional trap. I know that seeing her and consistent communication with an ex is asking for trouble, BUT I think that is the case only when you still long for them. As in, you want to be with them. And that is not the case with me. I know that I am not looking for that at all, and the thing is, I have been in this situation before where an ex ex broke up with me, I moved on quickly, she didnt and we stayed in touch, and I found myself denying/ rejecting her with quite a bit of ease when seh tried to get back with me. Im not saying that is the exact situation at present, but that I have a good handle on things right now. Its about me now and getting into any emotional vortex is the last thing on my mind. Also I think there is something to be said for having the ability to face the situation without just turning your back on it forever... I know NC is important and downright necessary. But its a tool that if used properly will whip you up into shape so that you can deal with things and not just try to erase them from your mind... IMHO! Dont you guys think that ignoring them kind of makes you seem like your running away and afraid to face your 'fears' to an extent????? Link to post Share on other sites
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