Need urgently

[Hippy_Chick]

Hello again guys

 

I post a thread earlier, "I never wanted it to be over". I've been talking and arguing with my Ex for weeks now. He keeps saying that I've changed and that he has to see that I am still the same person that he fell in love with before we could ever make any progress. I cancelled our wedding on Monday and was very upset about it. After discussions on MSN he eventually phoned me to see if I was ok. He had arranged a gaming night in with the lads so he didn't stay on the phone for too long. I was talking to him on MSN on Wednesday morning. We were just having friendly chat. I was writing him an e-mail at the same time. I asked him did he want to read it and he told me ok. In the e-mail I explained my side of what happened in the relationship. I told him that I was sorry for my part and that I still loved him. He answered by saying that he didn't know what to say. The he knew that there were faults on both sides and that he had had the same dreams of the future that I had had. He then went on to say that he didn't want to talk about emotional stuff right now but would be on MSN later. I asked him did he still love me and he said that he loved the person that he got engaged to but wasn't sure who I was right now. I told him that that didn't answer my question. I asked him again and he said he did still love me. I told him that I still loved him too so where does that leave us. He said we'd talk that night. I logged onto MSN that night and he told me that he didn't want to talk about emotional stuff because he'd been to the dentist and he was in pain and was tired, so we ended up talking about general stuff and had a bit of a laugh. The following morning, we talked again on MSN and were just having a general conversation again. I was getting the feeling that he was talking to me like one of his pals. When I said that I had to log off he said ok, catch you later if you are about. I said I'm guessing you don't want to talk about the emotional stuff later then and he said no, that he wanted us to just talk as friends for a while. I asked him what were we doing and he started getting angry. Said that we weren't doing anything, that we were just talking. I brought up the day previous' conversation and how he had promised me that we'd talk properly at some stage. He didn't seem too happy but after a bit of discussion, he had agreed to phone me this afternoon to talk.

 

I just feel really bad about what's happening. Surely if he did really love me, I wouldn't have to work so hard at getting him to talk to me. I know I've gone against all the rules in the book as well as I've been constantly in contact with him, I begged him for a second chance, at times I've accepted all the blame for the break up. Now I'm the one who is putting pressure on him to even talk to me. What do I say to him this afternoon when he calls? How can I gain a little respect back from this? Please help!