I broke up because he slept with his soon to be sister in law

[unsafe]

I think that catches your eye! Yes Maybe you have read my blogs before. But I was dating a guy who slept with his brothers fiance more then once.

 

First it started with a three some I believe twice. Then I guess he and she decided since his brother was ok with the three some he'd be ok with them just doing it without him. I don't think he was but he is still planning on marrying her. His brother doesn't know the whole story. There is a time they slept together that "they" decided to keep from him. I also know that she has giving guys head without him knowing but my ex knew and told her not to tell his brother. Do these people have any loyalty. Does he even care about his brother and this messed up woman he is about to marry?

 

Well this supposibly all happened before I came into the picture. But they are still very emotional attached. My ex and this sister in law to be.

 

I moved in a little over a year ago. I was hanging out having fun partying with these people until I and the guy fell for each other. We started to be together. We didn't rush into sex or anything. But it was going great. I fell in love with him. And then the sister in law to be went off on me and told me I stole her "other boyfriend" That I was taking away that emotional connection they had. It made me sick but he swore up and down it was in the past and he never did and doesn't have those kind of feelings for her. Since I was in love I wanted to believe him. She wouldn't stop making trouble for us. She even went as far as kicking me out of her home where us four. Me and my boyfriend her and his brother lived. He said he was getting out that she was crazy and insane and he works with her as well by the way.

 

Well a month went by and I didnt' see him looking for a new place or a new job. It started to ware on me that he was living working and being friends with a women who was so obviously into him who was marrying his brother. When I brought up the changes he told me he was going to make, he told me I was trying to change him. I told him I was trying to save us from her getting in the middle of us and tearing us apart. Every time I would come to see him or stay with him because he still lived with her she would be rude and say something like..he and her are going to go do this, or we use to always do this so we are going to do it.

 

It finally got to me and I realized this guy must have feelings in return for her if he is sticking around there knowning she has these feelings for him. That he keeps a dark secret of sleeping with his brothers fiance. Of letting her kick me out and staying there like it was no big deal.

 

He has writen me since we've broken up saying he misses me. But why would he rather stay there. I know I'm a good catch. I'm not stuck on myself I just know that in life I always trive to be a good person and care about people and when I love someone its very important to me that they are happy, but equally shouldn't he want me happy?

 

I know this woman is not good. I think she is a controlling person who has a lot of issues. She told me she wasn't ashamed of sleeping with my guy because it was right at the time. What its never right to sleep with your fiance's brother?

 

Ok so they have feelings then why did he date me. Why did he involve me. Why did he lie to me? If he wants her then why did he come to me? I'm hurt, I'm confused and I want to stop thinking about it.The whole thing is just sick to me. But at the same time I don't understand why he would rather stick around and share his brothers wife then have his own?

 

He said he wanted out of that situation yet he isn't doing anything about it?

 

Does anyone have any words to help ease my heart. Or help open my eyes more. I mean I'm not in denial that there is something wrong, that this man is unhealthy. He doesn't have a friend in the world except her. Thats what he would tell me she is my only friend. What a great friend, she tells your new girlfriend you are in love with supposibly that you two slept together on more then one occasion then kicked her out and is played tug of war with her over you?

 

But for some reason I just don't get it. She isn't an ugly girl she is a little heavy cute but not a fun, nice person. Its like she has these boys wrapped around her finger and she isn't even that great.

 

Anyway please help?

[daphne]

unsafe,

 

I don't know waht the questions are. You seem to have all of the answers. Maybe you just need reassurance. You're right, there's something wrong with him, not just her. You were in a relationship with him, not her. But birds of a feather... The fact that he's still there with that skank speaks volumes. They are animals, and you're not. It would never have worked out no matter what you did. He doesn't want to change. Let him be an animal. You have to be realistic and realize that you need someone completely different from him. You just don't want to believe that he is what he is because it would feel like you made a huge error in judgement by falling in love with him. That's the hardest part. Feeling like you've been duped but not fully wanting to admit it to yourself because maybe that means the love you had wasn't real.

 

I would run far far away from this freak show. There will always be drama and life's too short for it.

 

take care