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Sweetfish's Journal

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What do you people mean when they say 'You're too nice'?



They might mean that you're easy to take advantage of, or they at least worry that someone will take advantage of your kindness. Maybe you don't say no when you should, or maybe you give people too many chances. I'm just guessing of course, but that's what comes to mind.


People have always told me that I'm "really nice," but I also got walked on a lot. There's nothing wrong with being nice so long as you know where to draw the line and protect yourself.



Too nice means your easily molded by other people. This means you don't have character and your surroundings dictate your character. If someone needs help you will always say yes or show almost a flawless character.


People like individuals with a blend of character traits and unpredictablity. Instead of investing in your own character, you may seek to please others needs and hide your character flaws to perceive others as perfect and no ones is pure and holsum.


Most celebrities are loved for the imperfections.. this is why bad boys or bad girls get more attention.


Biologically, humans seek security and being too nice does not promote strong decision making skills, leadership, or strength.


Start taking stock in your self and accept your flaws. Tell people no, don't be a superman or that guy who helps everyone.. if anything the broken hero is much better. (Think batman)


Stop being too nice as it will make others around you hide their true nature and their flaws.


If these people hide their flaws and you hide your flaws and you'll never get into deep emotional bonds with others..


You have thus built a shield that prevents you from having deep emotional bond with others without even knowning it.


Hope that helps..


Sweety fish

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This is great! I've always been described as incredibly nice and genuine, but I'd also like to think of myself as confident, driven and having a strong sense of integrity. Now, after my relationship has ended, I do wonder if I managed to put up a barrier between my ex-gf and I unconsciously. She idealised my character, I believe, and that kept us together for a long time, but maybe didn't love me as deeply I believed, or as I loved her.

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Tips for the ‘too nice’ guy:



  • Don’t take the ‘too nice’ comment personally. It’s not you… it’s me/them/girls. Let me repeat this again. It’s not you. Even if this is the story of your life, understand it’s not you.
  • If you are being 100% authentic and true to yourself, you should not change yourself to adapt to the actions of another person. Know that you just haven’t met the right one that fits you. No matter how much you like her, she’s not meant to be yours and she is doing you a favor. There is someone better suited for you if you can just find faith in that.

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I don't give a crap if someone thinks that I am too nice. I am a kind person, and if they do not like my polyanna persona, then they can bite me. It's my best characteristic and I am not ashamed of it at all-and I don't buy into the junk that the world sells me. I will be as kind as I want to be, non-stop, every day, all day. It isn't my only trait, but it is WHO I AM, and I AM who I say I AM. God is Good. And we crap on Him all the time...but it isn't His only side, and someday, people will be forced to cut the crap and take stock of their sh**ty ways...just saying...I will not let a million people tell me it is wrong to be a kind person or to be nice if you want to be nice...I bet they don't believe in God either, so...they can keep their irrelevant world views to themselves and get out of my space...Just Saying?! Lol.

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I think for me its that I let people say s*** about me, and I dont really react, but if someone sats anything about nay of my friends, then all hell breaks loose. My boyfriend always talks about how I take crap or go out of my way to do stuff, and people take advantage on it. He just silences my phone on the weekends because a lot of people want me to help out on the inconsequential things, and expect me to be on call. So I can be too nice sometimes and maybe sometimes taken advantage of.

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