rainbow12 Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 I always had this lingering thought at 13 that I will always be unwanted, unappreciated and that the rest of my life..i will forever be a virgin and single. I've adjusted that thought over a decade and believed it 100%. I don't think it's my mind playing tricks on me I believe it's facts. I've never had a boyfriend and i've never had sex. I'm 23 and i know you will all say i'm young and i got enough time to look for someone and there's someone out there for me, just don't because i heard it all before. This long stage of thinking about now and my future made me believe i won't ever get pregnant and that the opportunity of having children don't exist for me whenever im ready emotionally to have one because no guy will ever be with me. I don't want kids now im just saying about if i did want one down the line. I don't have any little luck to find a genuine guy. I don't socialise because i don't know anyone in my local town but everyone else knows each other and they are in relationships. I just feel left out and a little bit resentful that most young people have got each other and i'll be lonely for eternity. Every time I go out to trips I tried to not generalise of seeing people whom are in relationships and I try to see young single people but really all i could see mostly are families and couples. I tried free dating apps like tinder the ones where you can chat to others but they was all a red flag and my gut told me it's pointless and boring because I felt like im a lamb and every guy are wolves. it's a dark web to go on. Since im a virgin as a woman I do admit that I always wonder what sex is like and i wish i could experience that with a guy that i like. I have a best girlfriend online, I love her like we have just been born together as twins, we have known each other for 10 years and i love her. She never judges me and she kind to me but she lives in another country which is 8 hours away from me. The only person I have left at the end of this world for me would be her and my brother. We talk a lot about her getting a job one day so she can save up and live with me and my family. The only thing thats keeping me going is going to the sea side and saving up for a convention to see a celebrity i have a crush on, Pretty sad i know but....it's what drives me to do something. I have autism mild and im not confident and i can't travel independently. So, yeah this is my life story and....I might aswell join as a nun member. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 (edited) l'm sorry about everything . But maybe you can join things and do some stuff, get out there more, got any hobbies that involve getting out and other people or anything you'd like to try. And you probably know long ago but to grow up thinkin like that l think pretty well guarantees it for you , so unhealthy for ya. l dunno about positive thinking bringing life together for us but one thing l've noticed over the years is negativity or thinking the worst really does seem to get you what you almost willed to happen by thinking like that. You know , if that's really not what you want from your life is there any way you could turn thinking around , maybe a professional could help you get yourself out of that funk, l think it's crucial important for you that you do. Anyway , people will come along and have some good advice for ya and if it's any consolation there's other girls and guys around too with the same problems. Read about and see what people suggest to them. Chin up eh. Edited June 7, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 I was going to ask if you were on the Autism Spectrum. My intuition about certain things tipped me off and then I read your sentence at the end. I am a man and have Asperger's. Others do not understand our plight and so often it helps to filter the advice, use time and introspection. In one way you are right. People with typical/average mind structures are dangerous for us because they follow a set of very constricting social "rules". They take these rules very seriously, especially in dating and romance. That lack of creativity and deeper understanding does nothing for people like us so we often avoid it altogether. There are other people who have mild high functioning Autism. They are some of the best people out there and I am just starting to be able to find them. There are also Nero Typical people who have a softer and less aggressive/competitive temperament. Maybe it is time to start looking for your type of people and ignore what the rest say. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 welcome to the site, well done hope you get enough saved soon and that you get to meet your celebrity! that is great though always good to have dreams and to follow them, A couple of suggestions for you, have a browse of the coping thread part of this forum, you may come across a few like minded people that might be open to private messaging with you or willing to lend you some good advice at any rate! you need to work on building your confidence and your self esteem- write down ten things that you are good at just as a simple exercise to start, would you be open to making an appointment with a life coach person who would help you with this. what interests and hobbies have you, could you join some club in your local area which will help you get to know a few more people. activities like yoga and mindfulness groups are good for meeting nice people who will be willing to lend you a helping hand. I think you may be better to develop more girl friend friendships first just to help your confidence and not to worry about meeting guys for the time being,also better to learn some dating secrets and that first from friends than going in raw. would you start a meet up group yourself- looking for members-based on whatever you are interested in, do not be afraid to be open as you are here, you are likely to be surprised there will be more people out there to help than you think. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 I have autism mild and im not confident and i can't travel independently. So, yeah this is my life story and....I might aswell join as a nun member. you need to find a young man who also is on the autism spectrum 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 It's hard to socialize sometimes when it's just you on your own, so join any group you can, like at church, or meetups or join a hiking group or biking group where you'll see people and maybe get to know one. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 Maybe you should meet Garcon1986 haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 If you're really convinced you'll never find anyone, the worst thing you can do is join a dating site. First, it's illogical to try to date if you already believe 100% that no one wants to be with you. Second, OLD is rough even for people with high self esteem. It'll eat you alive. Stick with church groups. Link to post Share on other sites
twatwa123 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) You WILL find someone someday but you must do the following: 1. Get some self confidence. Do this by volunteering somewhere. This will allow you to do no 2. 2. Meet new people. This will in turn boost your confidence 3. Try online dating again. You've tried Tinder. Get on POF. Try a paid site like Match.com There are billions of people in the world, you have one match out there somehwhere and its up to you to go and find them. Do not wallow in self doubt. You won't find anyone that way. I'm 25, I've recently come out of my first relationship. It was only 6 months. And before I met her I was a virgin too, lost it age 24. I met her on Match. Edited June 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Stop believing what you thought up as a child. If some thirteen year old tried to tell me how my life was going to turn out I’d laugh in their face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) I dunno - I always knew how my life would turn out. People thought I was being silly back then. There are few of us that are outliers. Can't tell if it's you OP. However, I can guarantee you that if you don't want to be single forever, you don't have to be. You can't force falling in love but you can "force" a relationship if you lower your standards enough. People that hate being alone naturally do that. Anybody can get married and have children (sans medical issues). Edited June 11, 2019 by Eternal Sunshine Link to post Share on other sites
Author rainbow12 Posted June 13, 2019 Author Share Posted June 13, 2019 Stop believing what you thought up as a child. If some thirteen year old tried to tell me how my life was going to turn out I’d laugh in their face. :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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