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Don't know how to interpret her response.


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Hello, everyone! It's been a long while since I've posted anything here and I'm back with yet another scenario about anew crush.

 

So, there's this girl that I've know for about a year but only recently have gotten close to her. Our friendship is pretty AMAZING. We send each others memes and tag each other in memes (ya know, modern friendship and stuff), we hang out whenever we can.

 

Our friendship is the kind where we can be as weird as we want without judging each other and our hangout as so fun and all. You can say that we are synergizing and all.

 

Recently, I've asked her to date me to which she said she's not good with relationships. I tried to persuade her, without sounding all needy and clingy, and she said we should get to know each other more because she currently doesn't know what to do and she's actually "not friendzoning me".

 

Now, I want to know if her response was genuine or was an indirect way of politely saying no.

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mark clemson

Taken at face value, she seems to be saying "wait". It might be friendzoning, but given that she's apparently inexperienced etc it might simply be being honest. Some folks take a while to be ready for a relationship, or relationships at all.

 

Suggest you try to think about all the signals she sends as a whole - what's the message from all of it. "Just friends" or "getting up my nerve" (or something else perhaps).

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Sounds like excuses to me. She says you don't know each other, but you've known her for a year. If she's geeking out with you or whatever you want to call it, as you said, doing silly things, that doesn't sound like a romance. Sounds like a friend though. If she had attraction for you, she wouldn't have said she doesn't know what she wants or put the excuse about relationships. Boy, to hear these people tell it with the soft turndowns, everyone is so sensitive and lost they don't even know if they want a relationship. Come on!

 

On the plus side, I'm glad you had the talk, but do not wait around because unless she gets excited about the possibility in the next couple of days, once she's had a chance to think about it, it's not happening.

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Sounds like excuses to me. She says you don't know each other, but you've known her for a year.

I don't think I made myself clear. We've known each for a year, but only started talking in the last 2 months.

EDIT: during the remaining 10 months, we were more or less "university friends" and would only see each other after the classes at the university.

Edited by Epythamus
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You said date her, not relationship, so her response was just a poor excuse. You are friendzoned. By now you know each other well enough for you to kiss her. Try that. It's the true test. If she doesn't want to kiss you, or starts pulling away afterwards, you know what that means.

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I don't know about the kiss thing. If I was you. I would start talking about other women and have her help you write a dating profile. That way she knows your moving on.

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You are projecting on her.

 

It's amazing!!!! Pretty obvious she's not on the same page as you.

 

She's not interested but didn't want to hurt your feelings.

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OatsAndHall

I wouldn't read into anything. You asked her out and she gave you several "reasons" why she doesn't want to date you at this point. I wouldn't push it any further but I would think twice about how much time you want to continue to spend with her.

 

 

If you can enjoy her company without pining for her then continue to hang-out. However, if you're going to spend time with her in the hopes that she'll develop feelings for you, I'd distance myself as you're just going to cause yourself some misery.

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A year of seeing you around and two months of knowing you is more than enough time to know if she is attracted to you, and that is what this comes down to. She likes you as a friend and she gave you excuses to let you down easy.

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