Tgal Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 Hello! I've decided I need to add speed dating to my list of life experiences. I go in a couple days. Dates are 6 minutes each... seems pretty fast! Any success stories? Funny stories? Tips?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 Six minutes isn't much but I heard that singles decide within 4 minutes or less. I tried it once before it called speed dating. I met 2 ladies that way. The idea was to give out a phone number if you want to, but do not expect or be obliged to reciprocate. Smile a lot. My feeling is that if you find even one guy or girl you like, go with them. Don't get fussy and look around for a better one. A bird in the hand...you know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tgal Posted March 23, 2019 Author Share Posted March 23, 2019 Thanks! I will try to smile a lot. I tend to talk, talk, talk. 2 sounds like a nice, light version of speed dating. This is going to be 10 in 60 minutes!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Penguin_hugs Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 Hello- good luck with speed dating! I'm a speed dating success story I met my BF over a year ago at a Speed Dating event. It was basically the last thing I was trying before I resigned myself to not dating and completing some extra study after work. But I went along- without any friends- because I was still fairly new to the area. Got chatting with a group of girls when I arrived- ended up becoming long term friends with them too! The speed dating I went to was 4 mins per person. However, there was a delay in the start and a guy came up to me and we just got chatting- probably spent 15 mins chatting without even noticing the time. Turned around and the guy's housemate and my new female friends were just in shock watching us at how well we got on! My first official date of the evening was with the housemate and his first words were "So when are you planning on getting engaged to my housemate after that display!". I had 15 dates that evening- some went really fast, others dragged. But it was a really nice atmosphere. People seemed so genuine and it really gave me a confidence boost. It was the polar opposite to OLD where you spend a few weeks messaging someone-only to realise within a few minutes of actually meeting that you are wasting your time. At the end of the night- the guy came to have another chat with me before he left. The next day- we had to log on to an online system and "tick" who we would date again. Then it was a wait to see if we had any matches. I ticked 4 people, and 11 ticked me! I was very surprised. I had 2 matches- and the guy contacted me immediately to arrange a date. It was such a fun experience, I enjoyed so many of the conversations I had that evening and I felt attractive and confident! Plus it worked out really well for me! We've been official over a year and are moving in together in the Summer. I convinced a friend of mine with really low self confidence to go to an event- she was amazed by the experience- she felt so confident by the end- and she met someone! They recently moved in together too. All the best for your speed dating experience 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tgal Posted March 23, 2019 Author Share Posted March 23, 2019 That is such a fun story! Thanks for sharing!! Good luck to you on your move in! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 I wanted to go but every time the event got cancelled because there weren't enough men. Hopefully you will have better luck. Think about a clever open ended Q you can ask potential dates that will give you info without being cliche or intimidating. I had settled on asking how they feel about roller coasters / amusement parks. I was looking for somebody articulate, who had a sense of adventure & playfulness. You have to find a Q that works for you besides the classic -- what do you do? what are you looking for? Don't think you will be able to size somebody up in 6 minutes. You are there to make a good impression yourself & find somebody you would like to have a drink with, nothing more. You are there to do a quick, superficial assessment. Analyze their body language & listen to your gut. If something feels off, listen to that little voice in your head. Wear something that makes you feel confident but is alluring. Have fun. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 Think about a clever open ended Q you can ask potential dates that will give you info without being cliche or intimidating. I agree with "d0nnivain"... Have a unique question at the ready. I tried speed dating, once and really didn't like it, but it seems to work for some people. Beforehand, I thought about the questions I would ask outside of the typical stuff and came up with... "What are your reading??"; "What book is on your nightstand??" If they said none or I don't like to read, then I knew I didn't want to date them; as I prefer an intelligent woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tgal Posted March 23, 2019 Author Share Posted March 23, 2019 I've seen these events over the years and the slots for women were always full, with a waitlist, and they never had enough men. This time it was opposite. There are more men than women which I found interesting. We shall see. Good tip on going in with some good questions! I'll think about that one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 @Taureangirl It depends on on the location AND the age group. Last I looked at upcoming events near me, the 40s-50s women and the 20s-30s men were waitlisted. The 50s-60s event I went to last month, although the women were waitlisted, ironically only seven of ten who registered showed up. One of the men who showed up went straight home because that ratio was so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 ............. Beforehand, I thought about the questions I would ask outside of the typical stuff and came up with... "What are your reading??"; "What book is on your nightstand??" If they said none or I don't like to read, then I knew I didn't want to date them; as I prefer an intelligent woman. First... I'm glad this thread came up. I'm late 40's, and in a job where I travel... so with the doom looming on my marriage, I've thought to myself "How the heck am I supposed to meet someone?" I guess I will have to give this a try. Now, to the question above... I really think asking a question like that could lead to a bad decision. What does a "Book on the nightstand" have to do with intelligence? I hate to read for pleasure, and can honestly say I haven't read a book (with a story) since collage. (for a class) but I hold degrees in Physics, Biology, Math, and Liberal arts. I have a bunch of books, but all for knowledge, and they generally aren't on the nightstand. If I was to answer that question honest... it would be.... "I don't have any books on the nightstand, but there is a Gameboy." Would you judge me as a flaky, unintelligent person? I happen to like old games, but I'm educated, and am an owner in a successful consulting firm. so... don't judge a BOOK by it's cover. (pun intended) Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 I haven't read a book (with a story) since collage. (for a class) but I hold degrees in Physics, Biology, Math, and Liberal arts. So you are an outlier on the bell curve of life. In every generality there is going to be an outlier or two, but in Speed Dating you've got 6 - 8 minutes to sort through these people and hope that your "picker" is going to find someone worth seeing. If 99% of the people have a trait or aspect you don't like, you don't really have the luxury of determining if they are in that 1% that would work for you. You also need to find a question or answer to a response that is going to separate you from the crowd. Something different that get them to check the "yes" block and seek further communication with you. I did try speed dating once and was quite surprised how quickly the 6 minutes passed. In an hour, you churned through 10 people and it was quite easy to get them confused with one another. I did jot down a few notes on a scrap piece of paper for the individuals that I checked the "yes" block on. In the end, I went out with one woman from speed dating on one date, but it turned out to be a disaster, so I "threw in the towel" for Speed Dating. I went back to meeting women in "Real Life". This seems to work better for me. I'm sorry you are in the "doom & gloom" of your marriage. Best of luck with whatever decisions you make. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 I went on two speed dates and had a blast. I remember being nervous before the start, but frankly, nervousness is part of the fun. I'm a talker and listener, so I loved talking to pretty much everyone at both events. I made a connection at the first even ... like a great conversation, we had a lot in common. And the fun thing (and hopefully this will happen to you) is that a minute into meeting this woman, the enthusiasm on both of our parts was off the charts. She and I mentioned each other as people we wanted to follow up with and we met up for a date. Unfortunately the date did not go well ... it wasn't awful, but there was something awkward ... we just didn't connect. Interesting at the date event itself, she and I had talked about our professional lives and the eerie similarities ... But on our date ... something was missing--hugely. On another speed date, I met a woman I really liked and I marked her for meeting up later and I was SO SURE she would mark me down as a match as well. She didn't list me. Couldn't believe it. I would absolutely go again, but I've been having trouble finding events for people in their 50s, my age group. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 .................... I'm sorry you are in the "doom & gloom" of your marriage. Best of luck with whatever decisions you make. Thanks. In my case, a 20 year relationship is being ripped apart by the wife. I've tried to find the real reason, but she is just angry and has no interest in making it work. To keep this on track, I would love to meet someone in "Real Life" but I'm not a bar kind of guy, and I travel. Because of this thread... I'm going to look into the speed dating thing after it's over... if for nothing else, a fun outing. Regardless of a date after, it seems like people have fun with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tgal Posted March 30, 2019 Author Share Posted March 30, 2019 The speed dating ended up being a painless, hilarious experience for a friend and I. We can cross it off of our to do lists for sure now. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 Would you like to expand on that? Was it fun, and potentially useful? Or was it a laugh because of the bad selection of people? Link to post Share on other sites
oceanblue12 Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 what actually is SPEED DATING Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 what actually is SPEED DATING I only attended one "Speed Dating" event, so I'm no expert, but.... Basically there are 10 women and 10 men. Everyone is given a number on a name tag and a sheet to mark yes or no. Each woman is at a small table. One man sits with one woman at her small table, a bell rings and you have 8 minutes to basically get to know each other, ask questions, etc. If I like her, I would check the yes block to her corresponding number. If she likes me, she would check the yes block corresponding to my number. At the end of 8 minutes, another bell rings and the guys move to the next table, the women stay put. In the end, I (being a guy would have moved to 10 tables) and met 10 women. 8 minutes each. At the end you turn your "yes" & "no" sheet into the coordinator. Let's say my number is 3 and I liked woman #8. And lets say woman #8 checked the "yes" block for guy #3 (which is me). Then the coordinator will contact both of us by e-mail and tell us we had a mutual match. The coordinator will then forward the contact information we provided (some use e-mail address, some use phone number). At that point, it is up to us (guy #3 and woman #8) to contact each other and set up a real date. You can have more than one "yes" block checked. But the coordinator won't will not forward contact information unless there is a mutual match. Let's say, I also liked woman #6 and I checked the "yes" block for woman #6, but she despised guy #3 (me) and checked the "no" block, well there would not be a mutual match and thus I would not receive her contact information and she would not receive mine. Any questions?? Link to post Share on other sites
oceanblue12 Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Nope, I think that clears it up for me LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Nope, I think that clears it up for me LOL I don't know how true this is... but I had heard that "Speed Dating" was actually started/invented by a Jewish Rabbi. He was looking for a way to put Jewish young men (in his congregation) with Jewish young women, thus he came up with this idea. Again, not an expert here, but I've been told that in the Jewish faith, the religion follows the mother. So, if a Jewish man wants Jewish children he must marry and have children with a Jewish woman. Eventually, the idea (of Speed Dating) bled into the general public. I think there are several companies that run "Speed Dating" events. (Mostly in major cities) Link to post Share on other sites
oceanblue12 Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 I don't know how true this is... but I had heard that "Speed Dating" was actually started/invented by a Jewish Rabbi. He was looking for a way to put Jewish young men (in his congregation) with Jewish young women, thus he came up with this idea. Again, not an expert here, but I've been told that in the Jewish faith, the religion follows the mother. So, if a Jewish man wants Jewish children he must marry and have children with a Jewish woman. Eventually, the idea (of Speed Dating) bled into the general public. I think there are several companies that run "Speed Dating" events. (Mostly in major cities) there will always be something new on the horizon but doesn't it always come down to CLICKING ?? or at least a mutual interest of some sort Link to post Share on other sites
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