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controlling mens feelings


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Old 10th March 2019, 6:47 AM   #1
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controlling mens feelings

How much control do women actually have over how men feel? How does one get a man who is stuck in a sexual mode to commit?

For example, this guy from several years ago messaged me on pof. I thought my profile was hidden while i was browsing, and I wasnt looking at his profile.
We went on a coffee date. We hung out on the beach. One day he invited me to his office after work to "talk." I got there, and he offered to perform sex acts on me. I declined.



Every text thereafter was sex, sex, sex, "Im here when you're read."
"I want to do X on you." There was no, "Lets get to know each other."

I guess I could had sex with him, even though i didn't want to, to maybe have a shot at a relationship. I don't think that's a winning strategy as I'd have to have sex with every man i ever encountered or went on a date with regardless of how i felt.

I don't think i have that much control over a man. If I did, i wouldve been married long ago! Also, I dont' believe in haranguing a man into dating me. If he's there for the sex, I can move on. I don't think it's ethical to force a man into dating me when he doesnt want to.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:34 AM   #2
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You don't. You control yourself. If you have a man who can only talk about sex, you get a different man.
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Old 10th March 2019, 9:59 AM   #3
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How much control do women actually have over how men feel? How does one get a man who is stuck in a sexual mode to commit?
Why on earth would you even consider investing 10 seconds into this pig?

A life lesson a lot of us have to learn the hard way is that we can't 'fix' or 'change' another person. This guy is obviously living through his genitals so stop wasting your time on him. Block this loser on your phone and everywhere else.
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Old 10th March 2019, 10:38 AM   #4
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I think that when I read that I thought this post needs a mans perspective not a woman's, best of luck... Some women are just too much and I like a man's psyche straight to the point. Lets us know where we stand. If youre the best sex ever isnt that ONE way to a relationship... sex then chats then fun then deeper chats etc isn't in one way in you know ? Guys?
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Old 10th March 2019, 10:45 AM   #5
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People take different paths to a relationship.

As a generalization, men need to have sex to feel loved while women need to feel loved to have sex. Obviously this is not universally true for everyone.

If both parties are happy & enjoying sexy talk, turn up the heat! However, when 1 party harps on that subject & sounds like a broken record while the other is getting increasingly turn off or insulted they are not a good match.
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Old 10th March 2019, 11:16 AM   #6
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the way to a man's heart, hotpotato, it thru his stomach. do you cook? if not learn and invite your boyfriends over for a delicious meal
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Old 10th March 2019, 12:24 PM   #7
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The FWB zone is the male version of the friendzone you ladies have for us guys. Basically, for whatever reason, if a guy decides you aren't the right girl for him, he will stick you in the FWB zone. This is where you are right now. There is very little hope of that ever changing and you should forget even trying.

As a woman, the key is to see how a guy treats you. We men tend to make our intentions rather clear if you bother to pay attention. He is treating you like someone he wants to have sex with only. This is what you are to him. Instead of wasting time trying to change his mind, find a guy that treats you like a girlfriend, because that is how that guy sees you.
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Old 10th March 2019, 12:26 PM   #8
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No matter what gender you are the only feelings you can control are your own.
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:48 PM   #9
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the way to a man's heart, hotpotato, it thru his stomach. do you cook? if not learn and invite your boyfriends over for a delicious meal
I tried cooking for men years ago, and I didn't work.
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:55 PM   #10
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I tried cooking for men years ago, and I didn't work.
try again, nowadays everyone is eating take-out and fast food crap. I for one could go for a home cooked meal.
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Old 10th March 2019, 6:57 PM   #11
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I think a better question might be: how does one have an exclusive relationship and not be just an eff buddy?

Answer: by not playing into the silly games you described in the OP and setting healthy boundaries. If you don't want to have a guy sext you then delete and block. what do you really expect from that level of interaction? If you just wanna be FWB, then by all means continue with what you're doing. If you want something more, than be clear about that and eliminate the noise.
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Old 10th March 2019, 7:52 PM   #12
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try again, nowadays everyone is eating take-out and fast food crap. I for one could go for a home cooked meal.
I'm more of a baker to he honest. I had a picnic with a guy before. I wouldn't be cooking at his house or mine.
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Old 10th March 2019, 8:45 PM   #13
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I'm more of a baker to he honest..
that's even better hotpotato. I used to love it when single girls would bring me home baked sweets at work. Women used to bring me food from everywhere. Once this cute Occupational Therapist brought me a philly cheesesteak from PHILADELPHIA in a refrigerated container. hahah

trust me guys really appreciate when you bring them a cake or cookies or warm cinnabuns. mmm

it also shows your potential interest in the recipient
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Old 10th March 2019, 9:39 PM   #14
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I’m surprised by this thread hot potato!! Why would you force yourself to have sex with someone if you don’t want to?? Just for the unlikely possibility that he will want a relationship with you. That is not worth it! This guy would remain a pure “f buddy” demonstrated by the fact he doesn’t give a crap about you (would not even qualify as FWB). If you want then go for that, but otherwise you just have to find people that want the same thing that you do!! If this guy was going to change and fall head over heels for you, you would know it. Not by a quick roll in the hay.
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Old 10th March 2019, 9:47 PM   #15
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that's even better hotpotato. I used to love it when single girls would bring me home baked sweets at work. Women used to bring me food from everywhere. Once this cute Occupational Therapist brought me a philly cheesesteak from PHILADELPHIA in a refrigerated container. hahah

trust me guys really appreciate when you bring them a cake or cookies or warm cinnabuns. mmm

it also shows your potential interest in the recipient
Well, those guys didn't care in the end.

Honestly, I think I could get a boyfriend if I really, really tried. It's keeping one that's harder.
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