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Anyone else struggle with emotions and dating?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 23rd March 2019, 3:00 AM   #16
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Nice to hear sd , wish you the very best with things.
Can't complain , actually l'm one lucky fkr to have what we do and to be getting such a second chance as this,
But it's funny you mention communication, which is what has me into a bit of a negative. She's great , we're great , we can talk about anything, but the problem is l've realized late things l thought were clear and on the same page, weren't at all.
lt's not about us it's just we speak two different languages and it can get difficult at times , and if that's when if it's something really important it's sometimes hard to know .
We resort to text and email if we have to that was always our back up and a bit easier but interpretations can still get a bit tricky there too.


Anyway , good luck .

Last edited by chillii; 23rd March 2019 at 3:04 AM..
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Old 23rd March 2019, 5:02 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by shydad View Post
Yes, it is worth bothering! As long as there is a commitment to an open dialog and solving problems together, these issues can be managed. Expectations need to be realistic too. Speaking for myself, I'm super excited about this idea, and it's going well so far. My goal is never to hear the words, "Why didn't you tell me?"
This is a lot of my issue with dating. People don't try to work on problems, they just up and leave for someone else. I've fought to keep relationships alive.
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Old 24th March 2019, 1:57 PM   #18
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When I first started dating again, I was too focused on the destination (a solid relationship) and not the journey (spending time with someone and enjoying each other's company. This made dating miserable for me as either the woman failed to live up to whatever expectations I had in my mind or we had some good dates, I became too involved and I was overly upset when things were called off.



I learned to enjoy dating when I took a step back and looked at it as nothing more than meeting someone, enjoying their company and then seeing where it went. That Friday night dinner with a woman stopped being a pseudo-interview and just started being a fun night out. If those Friday night's out stopped being fun, for whatever reason, it was time to move on. Maybe they weren't into me or vice versa but it didn't matter; it just didn't work out.



And, honestly, sex early on in the dating game can seriously complicate things, even when there aren't any ill intentions. I don't jump in the sack quickly (as much as I might want to) because I know that hormones will take over, I'll get overly attached and it'll be harder for me to move on if things don't work out.
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Old 24th March 2019, 5:48 PM   #19
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Yeah your spot on , a lot of the dating stuff you read they don't seem to realize physical stuff too soon does just complicate the hell out of things and emotions and head.

l can never work out how all these people are in the sack before they even know each other or if there's even anything there.
And some of them seem to go on 100s of dates and what they sleep with all of them in a few dates, yaknow.
lt's no wonder so many are in such a mess and so aimless.
Your dealing with a triple edged sword if you let that stuff in too soon and then they're recovering from a triple edged sword when they find out a day later it was all a waste of time or they were used or bla bla bla.
Ya see it all over the forum over and over.
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Old 24th March 2019, 7:01 PM   #20
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Yeah your spot on , a lot of the dating stuff you read they don't seem to realize physical stuff too soon does just complicate the hell out of things and emotions and head.

l can never work out how all these people are in the sack before they even know each other or if there's even anything there.
And some of them seem to go on 100s of dates and what they sleep with all of them in a few dates, yaknow.
lt's no wonder so many are in such a mess and so aimless.
Your dealing with a triple edged sword if you let that stuff in too soon and then they're recovering from a triple edged sword when they find out a day later it was all a waste of time or they were used or bla bla bla.
Ya see it all over the forum over and over.

That is one of the many things that makes me spooky about OLD now. I went out on three dates with a woman via OLD and things between us were hot n' heavy pretty quick. We didn't end up in the sack together but we came close.



Long story short, she was a multi-dater and I ended up on the OLD Rolodex. She got flaky (couldn't commit to a date) and quiet but I saw she was quite active on the site so I knew I had been thrown on the back burner. I was used to this but it didn't bother me. One of my friends is also a single guy and he and I chat about our dating lives here and there. He mentioned that he had been out with her twice and slept with her on both occasions. He then mentioned that he was spooky because he didn't use a condom the first time.


She popped up again and wanted to go on a date (Rolodexed..) and I politely tapped out. Enjoying sex is one thing; not using protection with a guy outside of a committed relationship is a whole different story.
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Old 26th March 2019, 1:15 AM   #21
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This is a lot of my issue with dating. People don't try to work on problems, they just up and leave for someone else. I've fought to keep relationships alive.
I think the desire for and plan to have dialogs about relationship problem solving should be mentioned very early, and the response gauged. If you're love interest responds favorably, you're good to go. If the response is unfavorable, there could be trouble ahead.
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Old 26th March 2019, 7:22 AM   #22
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.............. Can we just hurry to where the laying around, snuggling, and trust is? Lol .................

I agree. When I was in collage, I had been in a long relationship (5 years) and I actually had a girl I started to date say "you seem way too comfortable in such a short time". Even back then, I guess I got use to that "connected/comfortable" feeling, and I like that. That didn't work out, but I did meet my STBxW after that, and it was the same way. I fell for her quick, and knew I wanted to be with her forever. (I guess that's not going to happen now)

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Originally Posted by Romantic_Antics View Post
Hell, I'm just holding out for a sex robot and then it's sayonara to the dating scene.
I know this won't help, but there was a good old movie named "Cherry 2000". It's supposed to be in the future, and some people have sex robots as a semi-normal thing. (but also acts as their significant other) The main actor had his robot get damaged, and wants the exact replacement. But the world is post apocalyptic, and not easy to find things like this. But ultimately, the people find love in each other, over the robot. It has a few real actors in it, and if there's nothing else to watch... check it out.

Last edited by Blind-Sided; 26th March 2019 at 7:28 AM..
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Old 27th March 2019, 12:55 AM   #23
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You can do the laying around the snuggling ... and still that doesn't mean the relationship is on solid ground.

Just means the two people are really good at laying around and snuggling. Life goes on ... and if the company can't work through their difficulties, snuggling doesn't make up for that ...

I've spent snuggle time with people ... that strangely enough, I didn't really have fun with outside of snuggling.
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Old 27th March 2019, 2:16 AM   #24
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l think the title of this thread sums me up right now only not in dating but relationship.
First marriage break up, then ex gf , intense but a disaster , now someone new who's double more than l could ever ask for after all that and at this age, but my emotions are all over the shop.
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