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Do women who are very successful have difficulty dating


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 4th March 2019, 8:48 AM   #76
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That's the problem. If I want to go on a fancy vacation, I want the guy to pay for his half. If I am footing the bill, it already means that he is using me for money. I don't care about his 2 ex wives that are bleeding him dry. Why do I have to pay for it?



Also, it's well known that guys don't care about a woman's career. I want someone who will care about more than looks and pleasant disposition. I want someone to respect, admire and value me for what I have achieved. Not just "meh, I guess it's not an obstacle". Men are valued for it. Why not women?
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Old 4th March 2019, 9:06 AM   #77
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
Many successful hetero women would really benefit from having a "wife".
Many women can buy such support in the form of nannies, house keepers, personal assistants etc. but it is rarely the same as having the all round support a good wife can bring. It is a handicap for many women.

Right, I agree. It does cut both ways though - generally a woman who wants to be a purely-support SAHM would have less difficulty finding a partner than a man who wants to be such (still difficult, but less so). IME women are less willing to be the sole breadwinner than men are, although that might be related to the fact that men are less willing to be a good supporter (obviously, a spouse who has no career AND doesn't look after the house and other PA stuff would be a no-go for just about anybody).
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Old 4th March 2019, 9:10 AM   #78
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Thank you for this post. Are your friends 50+ ? Iím interested to see if otherís experiences.

Mostly in their 30s, plus or minus ten years. I don't think being 50+ would make it more difficult in this aspect though, as a matter of fact if kids are out of the equation, I'd think it'd be more equal.
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Old 4th March 2019, 9:59 AM   #79
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Many men are willing to support their partner's careers. It's almost the norm in the socioeconomic environment I live in - they both are high achievers, they both cut their hours when kids arrive on the scene, some men take a back seat when their wives do the career thing. Women playing a support role is becoming a minority (and kind of a luxury) in a lot of western or westernised places.

I have a feeling that OP's situation is not your run of the mill, average 'success' situation and that her financial and / or social standing makes her an outlier even among 'successful' people.

In that case, virtually all her chances will hang on how down-to-earth and secure in herself she can be (imo).
You have nailed it exactly little black heart.
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Old 4th March 2019, 10:06 AM   #80
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I am professionally quite successful...and can be a royal b*tch in the work place if I need to be. Key being *if* I NEED to be. For the most part, I'm pretty outgoing and friendly to individuals though.

I never had any issues in dating and I've dated both equal career path men as well as men who had different career paths.

My husband is in a completely different profession and some years does better than me financially, other years worse, but he owns his own business. He's also a very secure type and isn't phased...and has/would happily support me staying at home instead of being in corporate America if/when that desire suits me.
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Old 4th March 2019, 11:58 AM   #81
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
That's the problem. If I want to go on a fancy vacation, I want the guy to pay for his half. If I am footing the bill, it already means that he is using me for money. I don't care about his 2 ex wives that are bleeding him dry. Why do I have to pay for it?



Also, it's well known that guys don't care about a woman's career. I want someone who will care about more than looks and pleasant disposition. I want someone to respect, admire and value me for what I have achieved. Not just "meh, I guess it's not an obstacle". Men are valued for it. Why not women?

It's fine to have requests/demands....That's your right and I urge you to stick to them if that's what you need ...

That being said, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that at this age, the "good" men are in the drivers seat...They hold most of the cards...They can pick and choose who they want, many even go younger....Some much younger...and do it easily...

I guess the only point I am trying to make here is that if you are a woman and actually want a relationship with a guy that isn't some old dud with a horrible physique, dowdy looks, a jaded and angry personality, etc, then maybe you have to explore some things that you typically would consider out of bounds....Otherwise, stick to your guns and try to find the Unicorn or maybe you can settle for a Peter Pan type that never grew up...I dunno..

TFY
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Old 4th March 2019, 12:07 PM   #82
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What if a woman making $300k wants to go on a luxury vacation that her teacher boyfriend making $60k can’t afford?
OP: I’m just curious...on the one hand, you said you’re completely fine with dating a teacher; on the other hand, you’re not okay paying stuff for him. So practically, how’re you going to handle your different lifestyles? Would it be okay if you adjust down your lifestyle so that he can afford splitting all the expenses with you? From his perspective, he might not feel comfortable having his girlfriend pay for stuff that he can’t afford.

I’m also curious to know if many guys would feel comfortable having their gf pay for stuff they couldn’t afford.

This can be an issue because one of my good friends is married to someone whose income is clearly much lower (just barely 6 figures), and yet they split everything down to the middle. My friend would go on some nice vacations that the spouse can’t join; their house is a clear downgrade from the house my friend previously owned...

Last edited by JuneL; 4th March 2019 at 12:17 PM..
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Old 4th March 2019, 1:40 PM   #83
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OP: I’m just curious...on the one hand, you said you’re completely fine with dating a teacher; on the other hand, you’re not okay paying stuff for him.
I am happy to adjust my lifestyle to meet someone with lesser resources budget. I would be happy to buy nice gifts if it was a special occasion but not as a matter of course.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th April 2019 at 8:47 PM..
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Old 5th March 2019, 1:52 AM   #84
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PLB, the 10 year old will be an issue for some of the men as well. But I think that's ok: you don't want those men.

You sound pretty interesting: successful, independent, petite blonde with 10 year old who's into Jung (and probably some other interesting intellectual stuff as well).

I think you definitely need to look for the right guy. Who isn't put off by the things you are worried about, or your kid, and also appreciates you for your brain. Be selective. The petite blond and career success aspects will just be icing on the cake to him.

When you're eventually successful, I believe you can look forward to long, thoughtful conversations and deep emotional bonding. That's probably true for many couples, but I'm going to guess particularly so in your case.
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Old 5th March 2019, 1:56 PM   #85
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PLB, the 10 year old will be an issue for some of the men as well. But I think that's ok: you don't want those men.

You sound pretty interesting: successful, independent, petite blonde with 10 year old who's into Jung (and probably some other interesting intellectual stuff as well).

I think you definitely need to look for the right guy. Who isn't put off by the things you are worried about, or your kid, and also appreciates you for your brain. Be selective. The petite blond and career success aspects will just be icing on the cake to him.

When you're eventually successful, I believe you can look forward to long, thoughtful conversations and deep emotional bonding. That's probably true for many couples, but I'm going to guess particularly so in your case.
Thank you what a lovely thing to say.
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Old 5th March 2019, 3:53 PM   #86
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
That's the problem. If I want to go on a fancy vacation, I want the guy to pay for his half. If I am footing the bill, it already means that he is using me for money. I don't care about his 2 ex wives that are bleeding him dry. Why do I have to pay for it?



Also, it's well known that guys don't care about a woman's career. I want someone who will care about more than looks and pleasant disposition. I want someone to respect, admire and value me for what I have achieved. Not just "meh, I guess it's not an obstacle". Men are valued for it. Why not women?



But see this to me is where things get very muddy like so many other areas of so called equality.
So if he's well off but your the teacher , that must mean you won't let him shout you a fancy vacation because you obviously wouldn't want him footing the bill for you either then right.
lf l was wealthy and she wasn't , who givsafk of course l'd shout my w or serious relationship whatever we needed most men would . But it's always a whole nother murky story if the shoes on the other foot yet the sitch is no different.
He could be used up too.

Last edited by chillii; 5th March 2019 at 3:56 PM..
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Old 6th March 2019, 6:01 PM   #87
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But see this to me is where things get very muddy like so many other areas of so called equality.
So if he's well off but your the teacher , that must mean you won't let him shout you a fancy vacation because you obviously wouldn't want him footing the bill for you either then right.
lf l was wealthy and she wasn't , who givsafk of course l'd shout my w or serious relationship whatever we needed most men would . But it's always a whole nother murky story if the shoes on the other foot yet the sitch is no different.
He could be used up too.
I agree with you. No one should be using anyone up.
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Old 16th March 2019, 5:32 PM   #88
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I think successful women (whatever that means) have difficulty with men who aren't confident in themselves. They are more scared that a 'successful woman' will reject them.

Lack of confidence in men seems a major issue in dating.
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Old 16th March 2019, 7:27 PM   #89
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Actually , l think that's just another thing women come up with but nope not at all for me personally or for most guys l'd know.
We do have a few multi millionaire mega successful types in my family too, but most are married with like minded men or women and that;s the key l guess. There's plenty of very successful men around.
But for say me or the types of guys l know personally it'd just be unpractical and just a bad match for a whole range of things. lt's just like any other area, we all need our match, like minded and things in common , miss matches just end up bad.

Like , not saying the op , you seem like a v/warm caring person but they can often be cold hard people too these successful type woman, big turn off.
And they'll be busy as hell, another one. Because say for me, l have a lot of free time because that's the way l like it.
And, they'd mix with a different type of people than l do , probably all these other mega successful types , not my thing at all.
And then there's the money and success side of things. Most guys know women will have all the attitudes and ideas talked about all through the thread , well who could be fkd with that, if that's not the way he is, no one l mix with in RL could be bothered with that.
And who could be fkd with being expected to live up to her success and lifestyle , same again most guys l know couldn't care less about any of that, they've shaped their life and whatever their work in the way they like it so for them, again, it's just a miss match.
Most guys are very practical and see the writing on the wall fairly quickly with this woman or that and if it's not gonna suit the way they like things , their life, living, they'll back out.

But then l'm just a working class type person with a small business and most of the guys l know are similar and that's the way we like it.
The wealthier ones in the family for example , l rarely see or have anything in common with they're just totally different people.
So personally l think it's as just like anything else in a relationship , things in common , like minded and in this case say some successful type.

Last edited by chillii; 16th March 2019 at 7:32 PM..
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Old 16th March 2019, 7:45 PM   #90
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PLB, the 10 year old will be an issue for some of the men as well. But I think that's ok: you don't want those men.
Yep , go with this one op and your own instincts and feelings about everything and you'll be just fine . Anddd , l'd say he'll be a very very lucky man to have found such an obviously very special person.
Good luck with everything.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 18th April 2019 at 8:48 PM..
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