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How to initiate?


crispytoast

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I have issues with initiating past cordial friendship. There is often women in class or at work that chat me up a lot. Work is off limits for personal professional reason but class? I am generally good looking man, well groomed, good hygeine, and have things going for me in life. And when I actually have build intimate connection women in past have loved dating me. But since I end last serious relationship I don't know how to initiate to get a number or a date. I usually just brush it off and focus on life but i do want someone to share my life with. Help!

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ask the ladies that show the most interest, that you would like to take them out and that you'll need their #

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Well to be fair the number part is not so difficult. I tend to f*ck up in the texting communication phase more because I communicate much with face and body language. I am old fashioned, I prefer to call but I guess lots of women don't like this, something about pressure?? So I don't anymore. But with text so much gets lost in translation, same reason I do not so well on dating apps.. I can get matches easy, and if they actually meet up, more dates is almost a guarantee, but the in between match and meet is hard for me. Plus last girl I meet through dating app had herpes so I don't use them anymore. And yes I choose to not have sex with her :laugh:

 

Also it's to be noted I live in a somewhat rough city, there's more crazy people than sane people here, secret tweakers, corrupt police, missing people, assaults/murders, and there is a history of young out of town women (which is 90% of the college) getting kidnapped to sex slavery. Women are very distrustful of men and rightfully so. I never had so much trouble getting women to meet up with me outside of our usual environment as since I moved here. I understand why but it really sucks. Honestly cannot wait to move but that's not for at least 6 more months.

 

So I guess the better question is how do I communicate via text? Usually if I ask "hey when are you free" or "when is a good time for you" they will set date but then ghost me. Obviously something I do is wrong? Would love some input from the women here, how do you like it how when a man text message with you?

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remember, crispytoast, that women are all different and have various styles of texting. keep texting short and casual, no talking about politics or religion or trump...most people have the same problems you are having when it comes to texting so just relax

 

great name by the way

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Thanks man

 

 

Yeah I don't talk those topics or really much at all. I try to keep it to setting up a date. Personally it feels desperate or insecure to me for someone to trying to maintain a text conversation with someone that I'm not intimately involved with already.

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Maybe about the social problems. But it was a lady friend of mine that said she hated when she gave a guy her number if he calls her, because she doesn't necessarily want to talk to him on the spot (might be at work or busy with something else). And if he had texted instead she can reply when it's comfortable for her or when she's in a more flirtatious mood. Also that rejecting the call makes her less attracted in general.

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