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My autism is showing? Conversational skills on OLD.


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 22nd February 2019, 7:49 PM   #181
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Originally Posted by thefooloftheyear View Post
Or they could be cold fish in the sack...who knows?? TBH neither one is particularly physically attractive., but that's a subjective criteria..

But here's the thing....I have immense challenges when I leave the house for work...Both mental and sometimes physical. . Most guys don't work with their wives/gf's … So when they are home or with their SO is normally a time we de stress and give ourselves a bit of a break...Have some fun...Laugh a little, enjoy the other aspects of life that aren't always so serious of challenging...

No one that has any degree of intelligence is going to want to pair up with a blithering idiot, but I really don't see why one would absolutely need an intellectual peer on all levels... Most guys in my experience gladly trade favorable hip/waist ratio or a tight ass and a great rack over a lot of the other criteria, and yes, I am talking about guys on the higher end of the success/intellect scale..

If you can get it all, great...But I don't think its necessary all the time...

TFY

I agree wholeheartedly with this.

My husband and I are about as polar opposite, professionally and in regards to our “hobbies” as it could be. I’m the desk jockey corporate type and if you trapped him in an office? He would lose his mind. I have bookcases full of books...and am constantly reading and devouring news, etc. he is more along the lines of “does this impact us?”

Ying/Yang balance. Which leads us to perfectly sort of balance each other. If you’d have asked me before I met him if I’d ever do some of the outdoor hobbies he has? I’d have laughed. He would reply the same about mine.

But our differences make us stronger as a couple. And the physical attraction hasn’t waned at all really after all our years...and a kid.

Step outside what you might think is conventionally your type. You may be surprised.
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Old 22nd February 2019, 11:46 PM   #182
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Hell yeah true and on the other hand to what l was saying that suits me and works, well actually on that first up. Gf and l are in many ways quite different , but in many others and biggies that are very important to us both, we fit like a glove.
But my oldest brother and his w sound a lot like you guys actually , they're really two opposite people to my mind.
Yet they have the longest lasting marriage of anyone l know 35yrs, apart from parents and stuff.
Even after raising 3 kids and running a business together 20yrs .
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Old 22nd February 2019, 11:55 PM   #183
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thank you all for your advice, it's my turn to be put off by the dating game and be patient, so here we go, let's chug on. This great thing isn't going to fall into my lap, so I will give religious dedication to get what I want.
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Old 27th February 2019, 10:51 AM   #184
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It sounds like you want to imitate the charisma of those men who are good with women. These people tend to come across as very sure of themselves and they don’t give a $hit about what others think, whereas you’re trying way too hard to impress women. This “trying too hard” trait can be very off putting. It’s not fair, but I bet a charismatic man can get away with your “man carrying a handbag” joke, as bad or even offensive as the joke itself sounds.

Last edited by JuneL; 27th February 2019 at 10:53 AM..
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Old 27th February 2019, 9:50 PM   #185
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And the only good training for charisma is to get rejected, tweak things, and just absorb the feedback right? I think the waiter thing earlier was a good idea but my schedule isn't that light, that I can afford to do that.
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Old 28th February 2019, 12:47 AM   #186
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I agree with an advice someone gave you to watch American movies and see how people flirt - specially the silly modern romantic comedies. The little “haha” jokes, the way the actors look at the romantic interest, etc. Women dream about men who talk like that (not me, but I’m not really mainstream).
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Old 28th February 2019, 6:09 AM   #187
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Originally Posted by Garcon1986 View Post
<snip> where I get into an argument and the other person refuses to see my point of view, even if it contains concessions and understanding of what the lady is saying.
You are fortunate to have a broader range of perspective, where you can see different points of view while not feeling the need to have to agree with them. Most people do NOT have this ability;
it is as if their whole sense of identity is tied up with their own particular, tiny view of the world, and they cannot embrace a differing viewpoint -
- it's like they don't even get that they can see something differently without necessarily having to agree with it.

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This great thing isn't going to fall into my lap, so I will give religious dedication to get what I want.
What do you mean by that?
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Old 28th February 2019, 8:04 AM   #188
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Ronni I mean that I will work like I did in graduate school to earn my degree, meaning work my tail off.
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Old 28th February 2019, 8:15 AM   #189
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Ah! Okay, thanks for clarifying. . (I thought it meant some kind of spiritual petitioning, and was curious about that.)
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