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Finding dates from Dating websites


australian clairvoyant

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australian clairvoyant

Hi,

 

 

I joined match.com recently to find dates as I though it was the biggest dating site around. However I have found most girls listed are fake. They usually have 1 photo only, a small rambling intro and when I speak to them via skype they cant video call as they have a technical issue. They can text with long pauses before asking for money. Didnt take long to work out how to spot a fake.

 

 

Has anyone actually met anyone for real from this site? How can it be in business ?

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Has anyone actually met anyone for real from this site? How can it be in business ?

 

Ten times in the last seven months and I'm deliberately 'slowing down' this month because of other opportunities to meet women.

 

You are new to both LS and match.com. At the risk of again boring the 'regulars' who know me ....

 

I assert success on any dating site (I've used several) varies with gender, age, location, and what type of relationship you're seeking. For reference, I am a 64 y/o male, 'searching' for a committed relationship in the 'suburbs' about 2 hours travel time north of NYC. Also for reference, I get a 25% response rate on match.com which people here on LS say is above average.

 

BE SELECTIVE. I screen women's profiles using various of the 'tools' on match.com. Although you will eventually see all the same people in your Daily Matches, I started out using the Discover/Search tool, setting filters on age, location, looks, and personality. I READ the profiles carefully to determine if the potential dates (women for me) are likely to be compatible. Read the essay if there is one. Evaluate BOTH the extent to which they sound like what you're looking for AND if you are what they say they're looking for. Males are almost obligated to make first contact although my best contacts have been women who 'Liked' me on match.com or 'Meet Me'ed' me on Plenty of Fish before I sent them a message.

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australian clairvoyant

I need a lesson here so fill me in.

I have contacted many women from 'likes me' and all are fake.I have contacted a couple by picking and again, just fake.

 

 

Pick any part of the USA, I am 48 and I want to find real girls. How do I filter out the fakes? I have got success on other dating websites before.

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I need a lesson here so fill me in.

I have contacted many women from 'likes me' and all are fake.I have contacted a couple by picking and again, just fake.

 

 

Pick any part of the USA, I am 48 and I want to find real girls. How do I filter out the fakes? I have got success on other dating websites before.

 

I assume you're male.

 

I'm (biologically) old enough to be your dad so maybe the age range you're working with has more fakes than for me.

 

I'm not surprised that the 'likes me' are fakes. Likes are a good way to show NONCOMMITTAL/'maybe' interest but also for fakes, scams, or catfish.

 

Contacted a 'couple' by picking? Try contacting dozens. And carefully read every profile before picking or responding to a Like. Judge whether the pictures look fake, how much information they provide (essay and is it substantive?, candid pictures rather than studio?, multiple interests? hotspots? for fun? last read? pets?), and whether all the information they provide is internally consistent. Examples: If they say they have kids did they mention them in the essay? If they listed interests did they mention them in the essay?

 

And if you've had success on other dating websites but not match.com, maybe go back to the other sites. Where I live, the same women are on ourtime, plenty of fish, okcupid, zoosk, bumble, eharmony, and match.com. But a higher proportion are on match.com and they provide more information about themselves to help me 'load' my picker.

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australian clairvoyant

Well a fake profile usually has 1 photo and a short rambling description.This makes up 90% of the girls

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Well a fake profile usually has 1 photo and a short rambling description.This makes up 90% of the girls

 

Quick sample of the last several women who I sent a message to:

- 10 photos, more than 10 lines of essay, 61 years old, this one happens to be someone I dated previously whose profile had been hidden for months

- 22 photos, more than 10 lines, 61, sent 22 Jan and not yet read

- 14 photos, only 9 lines, 62, she responded once and then broke off communication when I repeated my 'would you like to meet' question

- 4 photos, more than 10 lines, 58, read my message but did not respond

- 7 photos, 11 lines, 64, read and did not respond

- my lost love (long story others at LS have heard), her profile is currently hidden but earlier this month we had an exchange of messages: 5 from me, 6 from her

- another now hidden profile so I can't count photos or essay lines

- one photo, one line, 60, never read: based on your criteria a suspected fake

- 10 photos, more than 10 lines, 58, read but no response

- 8 photos, more than 10 lines, 67, SHE sent a message to me FIRST, PUD (physically undesirable)

- 10 photos, 11 lines, 60, read but did not respond

- 7 photos, 6 lines, 63, my last dating partner, she dumped me for Christmas (ho ho ho)

 

By your criteria, only one fake. Though could also be a woman who is uncertain about dating sites and didn't put herself out there much. What I'd say 'stands out' to me are:

- a significantly 'older' demographic than what you're dealing with at your age

- I'm SELECTING few (apparent) fakes to send messages to

- and I must acknowledge that in the time period my sample covers (about the last month), I've gotten no 'bites', one nibble, one that played with the bait, one 'fish that jumped into the boat' that I threw back, and one that jumped out of the boat

 

I stand by my suggestion that you be selective to avoid fakes

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australian clairvoyant

ok but rarely do i see someone with more than 1 photo and more than 2 lines in their profile . I cant be the only guy seeing this either so where are the complaints?

Edited by andrewt99
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It's not really something easily fixable that you are seeing lots of fakes. Where I live, I see lots of fakes on OKCupid and POF, and that is the group that contacts me the most haha.

 

 

To get what you want, I would decrease your Match subscription to the cheaper version, and then start putting your dating profiles on the other big sites as well. With online profiles there is always geographical variation on how many real women you will find.

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ok but rarely do i see someone with more than 1 photo and more than 2 lines in their profile . I cant be the only guy seeing this either so where are the complaints?

 

I am not a fake and this is exactly what my profile is like. Why? well because I am not going to put out an essay about myself. I want to go out on dates and "get to know" someone not read a book about them.

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I am not a fake and this is exactly what my profile is like. Why? well because I am not going to put out an essay about myself. I want to go out on dates and ''get to know'' someone not read a book about them.

 

You are not the OP and I don't recall if you have complained about OLD. But .....

 

What makes you think some guy is going to consider meeting you if you don't provide more information? I just did another search on match.com to get a 'current count' - 586 hits. I haven't tried to contact any more than 300 women in 16 months on OLD and across several sites. I'm haven't and I'm not going to contact all 586 of these women. I'm going to filter the list and contact only those who somehow make me think 'we' might be compatible. Lately (the 'low hanging fruit' is gone) that means the one or two apparently 'best' potential matches each week.

 

Is my attitude about brief female profiles typical? Don't know.

Am I a 'catch'? I'd like to think so.

Are there lots of creeps among the men on OLD? So I've heard.

Do 'good' men have to be careful not to waste time (or risk being banned) contacting women who are fakes? You bet!

What kind of men do you think you're going to 'attract' on OLD with one photo and two lines?

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ok but rarely do i see someone with more than 1 photo and more than 2 lines in their profile . I cant be the only guy seeing this either so where are the complaints?

 

Rarely do I even view the full profile if the woman has only 1 photo. The one I listed above as having contacted lives nearby (passes the 'location' test with a 15 minute drive which is hugely important) so I viewed her profile. I tried contacting her in spite of the one photo and no essay because, in addition to a good location, I fall within her 'seeking ranges' for age, height, and body type.

 

BTW about photos: a bunch of photos of pets, kids, grandkids, artwork, food, house, garden, and scenery from traveling do nothing. I look for at least one good photo of her face and one of her full body (usually in suit for work or formal dress. Bikini, clubwear, shorts and tank top, or yoga outfit are not required (but greatly appreciated :D)).

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The other big sites in USA are POF and OKCupid is this correct?

 

Correct. But where I live, many more and almost all of the same women are on match.com. POF has no technical support. I haven't met a 'new' woman through POF since last spring. OKCupid instituted stupid, byzantine restrictions on making contact about a year ago. I haven't met a 'new' woman though OKCupid since before the restrictions. Just sayin'. Give it a try yourself. YMMV

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I'm with Rayce. I had only one photo, and my profile description was short. I want to attract the type of man who won't rule out a match just because she has one photo. It's a personality type. So that works for me. Yes there are quality men who would rule me out. But quality is not compatibility. I meet enough men in real life, so OLD for me was an attempt to find a specific personality type.

 

I tried one site that allows members to have no photos at all. I knew some men get upset when they see that. They think I'm insincere or ugly. But I wanted to meet a man who is willing to let me send photo to him directly, and to meet in person within a week. Yes there are men as "weird" as me. Ha!

 

As for spotting fakes, just ask to talk on the phone the same day and meet in person same week. That'll rule out fakes and time wasters all at once.

Edited by Gretchen12
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australian clairvoyant

do you have site for American redheads in their 30's ? I seem to gravitate towards them without thinking lol :)

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There's not really any big sites that specifically have redheads. You'll have to scroll through people.

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australian clairvoyant

Just 1 last question.

 

 

There doesnt seem to by thousands of girls on match.com.

 

If have a distance range 5000 from any city in USA, have 1 filter of girls the same ethnicity as myself I get about 600 girls come up. In a country of 000 million that doesnt seem to be that many if this is the biggest site. Am i doing somthing wrong? The age is 25-45

Edited by andrewt99
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Just 1 last question.

 

 

There doesnt seem to by thousands of girls on match.com.

 

If have a distance range 5000 from any city in USA, have 1 filter of girls the same ethnicity as myself I get about 600 girls come up. In a country of 000 million that doesnt seem to be that many if this is the biggest site. Am i doing somthing wrong? The age is 25-45

 

I'm confused.

 

Are you in the USA or not? (Sounds like not) Any generalities about dating websites in USA that I might make would not necessarily apply outside the USA.

 

What is the distance setting of your search? FWIW I get 590 hits within 30 miles at the moment (age, body type, and lifestyle filters are also on). But I am in a suburban area of USA with 6 small cities in range.

 

Your country has 000 million?

 

Match.com may not be the biggest site in your country. Where I live it is the site with by far the highest participation.

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australian clairvoyant

I am in Australia. The girls on our site for match.com are fakes. They can be found on the USA site. The location just asks for a distance from a city so how does it make a difference in my location?

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I am in Australia. The girls on our site for match.com are fakes. They can be found on the USA site. The location just asks for a distance from a city so how does it make a difference in my location?

 

The site may work differently in OZ. In the USA you enter both distance and zip code as search parameters. Based on the hits returned it's very clear that match.com is selecting from within the specified distance from the specified zip code as the crow flies. US zip codes are location identifiers used by the postal service to sort and deliver surface mail.

 

Also in the US, there is live chat with a 'help desk' person. Hours are limited and the service person's knowledge is also limited. But you may get lucky and get some helpful answers about how the site works.

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australian clairvoyant
The site may work differently in OZ. In the USA you enter both distance and zip code as search parameters. Based on the hits returned it's very clear that match.com is selecting from within the specified distance from the specified zip code as the crow flies. US zip codes are location identifiers used by the postal service to sort and deliver surface mail.

 

Also in the US, there is live chat with a 'help desk' person. Hours are limited and the service person's knowledge is also limited. But you may get lucky and get some helpful answers about how the site works.

 

 

Yes thats is how it works on my end as well but the numbers are not showing up.

 

 

 

Are you able to give me a test, saying age range 30-40, say desired ethnicity white and name a zip code and distance and tell me how many gilrs show up. Give me a few example with parameters, as I suspect mine doesnt work like yours.

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Yes thats is how it works on my end as well but the numbers are not showing up.

 

 

 

Are you able to give me a test, saying age range 30-40, say desired ethnicity white and name a zip code and distance and tell me how many gilrs show up. Give me a few example with parameters, as I suspect mine doesnt work like yours.

 

I can't filter on ethnicity. But I change my age range to 30-40 from my 'normal' 57-67 within 30 miles and set to my lost love's zip of 06488 (keeping mine confidential). I got 1397 hits. Picking up Norwalk, New Haven, and Hartford CT which are all much larger cities than the ones near me. And DAYUM, more of these women are hot than the grandmothers I normally see. Effectively ZERO wrinkles and ZERO overweight! To be fair, I DO filter on 'average' body type. I guess that means something different to 30-something women than is does to their mothers.

Edited by nospam99
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My male friend is on Match.com in the fourth largest city in the USA. He put his preferences to white/caucasian women aged 30 to 40 within 15 miles of downtown.

 

He got 1134 women returned on that search! From a 15 mile radius!!

 

(Nospam, why can't you filter on ethnicity?)

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(Nospam, why can't you filter on ethnicity?)

 

My bad, GraceAndJoy. I can. I didn't notice the setting before. Filtering on white, 1397 goes to 956.

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australian clairvoyant

ok i get 9 matches with the parameters you gave (30-40) , location Connecticut.

 

 

I get a completely different set of females which I suspect are mostly fake. I am with Match international which should be in business but anyway

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