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My recent experience has made me wonder about the merits of this, no I don't mean Russia and a pay date but simply looking elsewhere for professional people, the way I see it something like this might offer me some companionship i.e. having someone to talk to and get to know without the massive and apparently disaster of a date which inevitably goes wrong?

 

 

Anyone considered this idea?

 

 

The inherent problem I have here is that people in SA are so closed minded so apathetic and so self centred, moving isn't an option so I need to try and make my dating life happy here. What do I like about a really good date, that void I feel all the time isn't there. Better if I can be me, better yet still if I am made to think.

 

 

Its always telling I got along better with people from other countries, there isn't that closed minded picket fence get married nonsense which is so prevalent here.

 

 

Just feeling a bit sad at the moment so this is part vent and part advice seeking. Sure I can do what I always go and try get lost in work projects but these good dates make me wonder how nice it would be to have a few good ones not just one. This last one I didn't need to make excuses and pretend I liked her because I did like her, whereas most of my dates its "well she isn't so bad, maybe this is ok"

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I thought you just had a great date with a Sweetish woman?

 

 

 

It was great till the point she got home and unmatched me.

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Yes people have long distance relationships that way and can be satisfying. For people living in very small towns it may be the only option. But eventually one person needs to move if you want to get serious.

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Yes people have long distance relationships that way and can be satisfying. For people living in very small towns it may be the only option. But eventually one person needs to move if you want to get serious.

 

 

 

There are a over a million of people where I live but frankly I have given up finding anyone here.

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I wonder how Saudi arabian do OLD. How would a man tell women apart when they are all wearing Burkas?

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Why can’t you move?

 

 

 

Too much going on here.

 

 

I have decided to not even bother looking in SA anymore. Tired of chasing non single people, tired of the really superficial pathetic approach taken by ladies here, many of which have nothing to offer at all intellectually. In fact I have come to the conclusion that probably 90% of them here trade on looks on nothing else, those who aren't good looking fall into the desperate category and that's not desirable either.

 

 

Unfortunately in some respects when I read about LA dating culture the scene here isn't radically different. Sure one can go and drop silly amounts of money and probably land up a with a date but she is likely to be beautiful but fairly apathetic and conversation might be hard to find.

 

 

Somewhere something went wrong with me because good looks aren't enough to woo me and I have thought back to when this started and it was in grade 10, there was this incredibly pretty, smart girl and I tried to ask her out, naturally everyone just laughed at me and she did to but in some respects that might have been the catalyst to what I like today.

 

 

(as an side she ended up marrying an absolute idiot)

 

 

Miss Swedish tourist had everything I like which is fairly rare, she wasn't model material but she was pretty and crucially had a pretty face to accompany a very sharp mind. I'll add this one to my list of regrets.

 

 

The comparison between her and the two local dates I had in the same week was stark. In fact they couldn't compete at all. Neither could add much interest, sure the one was slightly better but not much.

 

 

I suppose I like to chase the impossible and its good to accomplish it from time to time.

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he's not going to move just for a little bit of nookie

 

 

 

If I could meet someone like miss swede I would consider going on holiday yes. It would need to be a 99% person, one where I wouldn't need to say "well I don't like this but its ok".

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Sorry about the swede but at least you've met someone that's opened your eyes to something else and showed you you can have this.

 

looking further a fields a great idea matter of fact where you are sounds more the problem than you so much l think you'd be fine once you found your feet with the right girl and mentality.

Don't be letting where you are based and their mentality bring you down , snap that damn cord l've done it myself through life for different reasons with different things at times best thing l ever did sometimes you gotta accept that bs is just effg bs and it's not working for ya,

 

The other thing is , many people are open to moving for love , my gf was 12hours away she lives with me now , goes back and forth a bit few lose ends buttttt, anything can happen.

Things like that you can talk about early in anyway just feeling the waters out but things can also change to later if it grows.

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I am actually going to be in your country in just over a week. I'm going to do a little experiment and get back on OLD in your country just to see if it is as bad as you say.

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There are a over a million of people where I live but frankly I have given up finding anyone here.

 

You can try to "import" someone. If you know what you're looking for, and you're not willing to settle, and she doesn't live nearby, your only option is to search far.

 

I live in LA and have no trouble getting dates but no viable relationships. I don't know if the right man is nearby or is somewhere far away. I think it doesn't hurt you to look. Some people have met while on vacation and at the end it worked out.

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I just replied to a similar thread in another area of LS and will paste it here.

 

There are dating sites for women in specific countries looking for love abroad ie ColombianCupid / BrazilCupid / filipinocupid etc. I am a woman, never used those but heard about them. Perhaps worth looking?

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I am actually going to be in your country in just over a week. I'm going to do a little experiment and get back on OLD in your country just to see if it is as bad as you say.

 

Please do. Where in SA are you going?

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I just replied to a similar thread in another area of LS and will paste it here.

 

There are dating sites for women in specific countries looking for love abroad ie ColombianCupid / BrazilCupid / filipinocupid etc. I am a woman, never used those but heard about them. Perhaps worth looking?

 

 

 

Those definitely don't interest me because typically these are women looking for greener lawn and all a guy will be viewed as is a meal ticket. In some respects I view those sort of sites the same way I view arrangement sites because they seem to amount to the same thing.

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You can try to "import" someone. If you know what you're looking for, and you're not willing to settle, and she doesn't live nearby, your only option is to search far.

 

I live in LA and have no trouble getting dates but no viable relationships. I don't know if the right man is nearby or is somewhere far away. I think it doesn't hurt you to look. Some people have met while on vacation and at the end it worked out.

 

 

 

I am going to look at that idea but typically the people I am drawn to are professional so the moving part might not happen but truth be told I'd even just settle for a friend, I keep saying this but even someone to text good morning to would make me feel less alone.

 

 

That's really the problem as well as huge amounts of negativity caused by zero success but perhaps miss swede did teach me one thing: to look at these locals with even more disdain.

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But on the other hand professionals often also have plenty of doors open to them and versatile possibilities so no way l'd be worrying about that one just yet, there's no way to know until someone comes along and what their sitch is.

 

Just one other thing, l don't think it's a good frame of mind mentally to say l'd settle for friends. lf it's a relationship you want then it's good for us to also insist on that to ourselves too.

Yeah it'd be nice to even just have that friendship with someone and you could have that too, but l'm not settling for that, l do "want" a relationship too.

Mentally knowing and insisting on what we do actually want, totally changes everything in the way we approach and hone in on things.

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Fair enough. I googled Swedish Cupid in your homage and this came up with Swedes apparently - so maybe this kind of site is less about gold-digging and more about people who like dating internationally? :p (I wouldn't know, never used, but there must be sites to meet equals in other countries)

 

https://www.internationalcupid.com

 

Those definitely don't interest me because typically these are women looking for greener lawn and all a guy will be viewed as is a meal ticket.
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