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I'm too old to attract anyone


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 9th January 2019, 10:08 PM   #61
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^ even that appears sexy to a 60 year old guy!
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Old 10th January 2019, 12:49 AM   #62
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My boyfriend of 6 weeks is 49 and when we go out, attractive 20-something women flirt with him. For some reason, so far he's totally attentive and loyal to 42-year-old me, and with the way he's all over me and lovin me up, I've never felt hotter.

Before we met I also worried I was too old for love. We're like two teenagers together.

Stay positive and focus on what you WANT, not what you don't want!
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Old 10th January 2019, 3:46 AM   #63
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Just a note for people that talk about negativity.

I donít talk like this in real life at all. My mum was the only person I even mentioned age/dating to.

Iím actually warm, animated, seem happy, laugh and joke all the time. Iím a little shy and reserved with complete strangers only. When I resigned from my previous job 6 months ago, I got so many cards about how much fun I was to be around. In fact the colleagues that shared an office with me (8 hours a day, 5 days a week) said that I was one of those people that always looked happy. Yesterday, I got an email from my former boss saying that the whole team misses me and that losing me was like losing a family member. I know everyone goes around about ďvibesĒ, but really people are not that perceptive. There was no way I would have been able to fool everyone for 5 or so years.

Still, when you see that your only value to men is if your youth, noticing the sharp downward trend after mid 30s and so on...and people talk about exceptions...lol. Itís how society perceives women as they age. Itís a well known fact. Yet men can be bachelors until mid-late 40s and tell me with a straight face that they are only looking for women aged 35 and under ďbecause they want to start a familyĒ. Seriously dude, look in the mirror, yes you are too old for that too.

Anyway this is not something I can change but itís impossible to ignore.
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Old 10th January 2019, 7:14 AM   #64
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Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
or it could just be their hemmorhoids acting up
LOL!

Could be. Never know.

I don't think the women were jumping up and down like lunatics. They were probably chatting to each other and laughing and perhaps dancing around a bit to the music. They looked fun to be with all smiles and their hair flowing around their shoulders.

I guess it's more about that then how actually attractive you are. I mean yeah it doesn't hurt to have a pretty face and a sexy figure but if you're standing still all stone faced and serious nobody will want to speak to you.
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Old 10th January 2019, 7:24 AM   #65
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<snip>
Still, when you see that your only value to men is if your youth, noticing the sharp downward trend after mid 30s and so on...and people talk about exceptions...lol. It’s how society perceives women as they age. It’s a well known fact. Yet men can be bachelors until mid-late 40s and tell me with a straight face that they are only looking for women aged 35 and under “because they want to start a family”. Seriously dude, look in the mirror, yes you are too old for that too.

Anyway this is not something I can change but it’s impossible to ignore.
Well...it's hard to find anyone no matter what your age is. There aren't tons of quality men out there looking to be great husbands. Even when I was in my 20's and dating everyday sometimes twice a day I found lots of yucky guys I didn't even want to go on a second date with. Dating is treated too much like a sport or a competition.

Find something meaningful in your life and live for that purpose and live fully in the present moment as much as possible. That will probably bring you greater joy than dating TBH.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:03 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 10th January 2019, 10:26 AM   #66
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I thought being bitter and negative about romantic relationships would affect only those relationships. I fail to see how that would adversely affect your other relationships directly.

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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
<snip>
Still, when you see that your only value to men is if your youth, noticing the sharp downward trend after mid 30s and so on...and people talk about exceptions...lol. It’s how society perceives women as they age. It’s a well known fact. Yet men can be bachelors until mid-late 40s and tell me with a straight face that they are only looking for women aged 35 and under “because they want to start a family”. Seriously dude, look in the mirror, yes you are too old for that too.

Anyway this is not something I can change but it’s impossible to ignore.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:04 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 10th January 2019, 12:44 PM   #67
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I understand the realities very well. I would absolutely 100% teach any daughter of mine to try to find the right man, get married, and start her family in her 20s. I wish someone had taught me this.

For a while, I thought Iíd never have a good shot at marriage or kids past 40. But my recent experience so far is an exception to the rule. My 49-year-old boyfriend and I never stopped wanting marriage and kids and still do. Weíre both fully aware of the risks of having kids later in life and have discussed them openly, still hope to try for a family in spite of them.

I havenít yet figured out if Iíll be with him forever Ė itís only been 6 weeks. One issue in particular concerns me, his tendency to SPEND, versus my tendency to SAVE. Though he owns his own home and in some ways is financially stronger than I am, he spends money like it grows on trees, buys and gives me presents (jewelry, clothes, stuff for my house, huge bouquets of flowers) almost every time I see him, has some debt and zero savings, all of which concerns me a lot.

But heís a pretty darn good guy, and however long it lasts, our time together has been absolutely sparkling and delightful. The number of things we have in common and how easily we click is the best of my life.

As for positive versus negative thinking, even scientific research has shown that positive visualization, prayer, and other forms of strong positive focus WORK. Even brainiacs Einstein and Tesla talked about how every thought sends out a measurable, physical, biochemical impulse and you cannot help but attract like thoughts/thinkers/experiences/things. Essentially, what you obsessively focus on will come to be. Iíve been playing with this for a couple years now, and have been quite blown away by how powerful it is.

I no longer fixate on dismal odds and negative aspects of things. I did my best to ignore the 99% of undesirable prospects on dating sites, and get excited about the 1% who showed real potential. I fixate obsessively on the wonderful things I want to attract in my life, and more and more, Iím spinning up nearly miraculous turns of events fully in line with my thoughts, visualizations, and words. I suggest you give it a try.
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Old 10th January 2019, 12:56 PM   #68
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LOL! Could be. Never know.

I don't think the women were jumping up and down like lunatics. They were probably chatting to each other and laughing and perhaps dancing around a bit to the music. They looked fun to be with all smiles and their hair flowing around their shoulders. I guess it's more about that then how actually attractive you are. I mean yeah it doesn't hurt to have a pretty face and a sexy figure but if you're standing still all stone faced and serious nobody will want to speak to you.
The young women were doing it on purpose to prove a point and were jumping up and down holding hands like five year olds. Every guy in the place suddenly became interested in them. It was pathetic.

But my point is that older women who are appropriately animated and energetic can still get interest from men. You know, most of us, including me, are pretty tired and limpy. An older women who dresses nice and still looks like she'e enjoy a laugh and a drink can attract older men who may be looking for a fun companion. I've only known a couple of women like this though.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th January 2019 at 1:05 PM.. Reason: Fix spacing
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Old 10th January 2019, 12:57 PM   #69
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I thought being bitter and negative about romantic relationships would affect only those relationships. I fail to see how that would adversely affect your other relationships directly.
It can, because people generally tune out someone who is bitter and negative.
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Old 10th January 2019, 1:43 PM   #70
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But my point is that older women who are appropriately animated and energetic can still get interest from men. You know, most of us, including me, are pretty tired and limpy. An older women who dresses nice and still looks like she'e enjoy a laugh and a drink can attract older men who may be looking for a fun companion. I've only known a couple of women like this though.
It's a good point. I'm athletic and have the energy and stamina of a teenager, wear girly dresses and do my hair and makeup nice. On New Year's Eve, my man and I were dancing our butts off and partying till 2:00 am. When we get sporty together, we go hard and long. At least a dozen women told me it was adorable to see us having such a blast together on that dance floor. One of his best friends of decades said he's never seen him so happy and excited
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Old 10th January 2019, 1:53 PM   #71
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I watched this and I cracked up. Have you ever seen the fakeness that young women display today? I'm talking about 22 and 23 year olds who abound with Fake hair, wigs, extensions, fake nails, fake butts, fake boobs, pounds and pounds of makeup and fake eyelashes, fake teeth. It's out of control. I mean, they've got the old ladies beat by a loooooong shot in covering up their "real self".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa9mqcvh3sA
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Old 10th January 2019, 1:58 PM   #72
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I live a life of isolation more or less, the only means I have with connecting with others is the internet and that's been ... Less than successful.
If your lifestyle is not working for you, change it. You're single and childless. You can live any way you want to.
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Old 10th January 2019, 2:14 PM   #73
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If your lifestyle is not working for you, change it. You're single and childless. You can live any way you want to.
I agree. It sounds like a peaceful existence.

And it's not an age thing. Honestly, OP I'm older than you and men are interested in me all the time. In fact I'd say most men who I speak with are interested in me. I can tell from their eye contact, how they try to prolong conversations, ask me questions and a lot of the time say things that are in that grey area.

Maybe because I'm working now I'm seeing it a lot. When I wasn't working this didn't happen as much.

OP get a job where you're around more men.
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Old 10th January 2019, 2:17 PM   #74
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OP get a job where you're around more men.
maybe she can become a pole-dancer at a posh strip club?
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Old 10th January 2019, 2:17 PM   #75
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I understand the realities very well. I would absolutely 100% teach any daughter of mine to try to find the right man, get married, and start her family in her 20s. I wish someone had taught me this.
That surprises me. I'm older than you, have a young adult daughter. Her mother and I raised her exactly the opposite. We taught her to spend her young years to explore who she was, develop herself, apply what she'd learned, follow the path that opened up when she followed her heart. If that turned out to be "find the right man and get married," OK, as long as that was her real heart's desire.

In our opinion young women did not need to be taught to "find the right man, get married, start a family" as it's been culturally pretty much foisted upon women for millennia. Heck, read these boards, we're constantly bombarded with opinions about how women are "wasting their youth" by not getting right down to procreation ASAP.
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